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Jealousy!! I don't want it to ruin my relationship!

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:57 PM
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I have been in a relationship for 7 months. Ive been divorced for 5 years and my BF divorced 3 years ago.
My ex husband and I have zero relationship even though we have 2 children. My BF has a decent relationship with his ex wife and 2 kids as well.  I am ok with their relationship to an extent.. I know they go to dinner together after their kids games or school functions. He has always been truthful with me about it. So I do not question it.
But his ex recently broke off her relationship w her BF and told my BF she wants him back. She calls him at midnight singing to him on his phone, he also "slipped" and called her BABE in front of me, and now the latest, for his bday, she bought him tickets to a pre-season football game for them to go as a "family"  Then to boot, she recently friend requested my BF's neice on Facebook (who I am friends with) and my BF's mother. Now why all of a sudden after 3 years she adds them?  I know he cannot control what she says or does and I do not expect him to. But I do feel he needs to set those boundaries, they are EXES for a reason!
I am feeling so threatend, by her constant actions. I never question my BF and ask him if he sees her or talks to her. I trust him... I just don't trust her. I tell him he needs to set boundaries with her. He either can move forward with me, or go back in his past and get back together with her. He says I am his future and he will never get back with her.
I believe him and thank goodness I trust him or I know our relationship would be over if I didn't.
So how do I stop this ridiculous feeling that comes over me? He has alot of female friends and I am not jealous when it comes to them. Maybe because I know them and know they like me and have accepted me. I have yet to meet his ex wife even though months ago she told him she wanted to meet the woman who her children spend alot of time with. I was cool with that but it has yet to happen.
Everyone says she is a monster and a B@%&!  but it doesn't stop my green-eyed gremlin from coming out!
Any suggestions?

 

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:57 PM
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Replies (1-2):
PartyGalAnne
by on Aug. 27, 2011 at 1:28 PM

Give him an out. Tell him right now that you do not want to be in the way of his family being complete, and if he wants her back, to do it now, and no hard feelings. If he chooses to stay with you, then you need to let this go.

krisdev67
by on Sep. 10, 2011 at 7:33 PM
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honey, I'll be honest with you.  no matter what type of relationship they have it's not appropriate since they're not including YOU into the mix.  If HE is true in what he says about YOU being his future then HE would also have YOU present during some of those "family dinners"...trust me it's not right take it from a woman that had a good relationship with my daughter's father.  She's now almost 21.  He got married 4 years after she was born and I NEVER did that.  I allowed my daughter to have the relationship with HIM and the family that HE created.  He and his (now ex-wife) talked and got along well, but I never crossed the lines EVER!  So, what I'm telling you is that YES you do have a reason to be worried because it sounds like he wants his family back and is TESTING her out to see if anything has changed while he continues to have you waiting for him.

You need to take charge.  Either he makes changes or you walk.  However YOU need to decide IF that's what you want to do.  If you choose to sit back and wait, HE will continue to allow her to dictate the relationship until HE gets upset with her or decides that HE no longer wants her!  Good luck! 

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