Confused, No bashing please I don't think I can handle it right now.
I don't know if I belong here because I'm not married. I have been with my SO for 9 years on October 22nd. We've always had problems and I've always stuck by him. He's cheated alot and gotten really heavily into drugs of all kinds. But I've always been there wanting for him to come back to me so I could pick the pieces up and go on with our life.
We got pregnant a month after we got together, I had our 1st DD in August 2004. He cheated on me the whole time I was pregnant and even got another girl pregnant. When our daughter was about 2 he started smoking crack and still cheating. I left and waited for him to come back to me. In 07 I got pregnant again thinking it would make things better between us, I was wrong. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant I found out he was cheating again(most of the cheating was with one girl).
Things got better for awhile. I was living with my mom and he was staying where he could and ended up moving back to Ohio for awhile. He moved back in 09 and moved in with his cousin, things were really good between us for a little while, until he went back to his same old ways.
In 2010 I got a job and moved into my own apartment, things had been good between us again so he moved in with me and the girls. He says he has not cheated on me since we have moved in here, but that's kind of hard to believe given his history. We've never gotten along and I can feel my relationship running through my fingers like water. I don't know why but I love this man with everything I have. I guess I don't really have any questions, I just need some support and I know not many people are willing to give me that after they hear our story. And in no way am I innocent in all of this, I to have made many mistakes.