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is it me or him.......im confused

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 6:29 AM
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           my boyfriend of 4 yrs is a divorced man with 2 kids. i don't know the reason why he is divorced other than she left him. from what my friends say he took it bad ,and some say he wants back together with ex.he says he doesn't and cant stand her.

            from what i have seen shes a bitch and is nasty to him.in the beginning he tried to avoid her unless her and kids were in town. when she found out about me she kept his kids from him then slowly he was allowed to go visit them when they got in town..now from what i hear she is a demanding bitch who wants everything her way.i told him i would step aside if he wanted to be with her.also said being a divorced mom also i knew she would try to break us up anyway she could. as time goes by Ive noticed how his conversations are more and more with her .she is so sweet and nice including him with problems shes having with kids. even as far as letting his daughter stay one month with us.and both stayed a week during chritmas.

            i dont hate the woman and i tolerate her because of him and the kids. never will i attack her,unless she is mean and nasty to him in front of me.then i will tell her how i feel and to grow up ,,,.that she wont disrepect him at our house period. but i wont say anything in front of kids,they have seen heard too much of fighting.  i love him dearly but he has changed,,, he waits days or more before showering now,unless she is in town then showers daily never brings kids home for the night and has to go there to visit. im left at home and not included. it has gotten to the point i got noisey and went in his computer on his emails. my friends tell me things when it comes to her .he spends time with her and kids when he tells me it just him and kids.she is so nice to him all of a sudden. now that he is working again shes even nicer. he went as far as taking a trip to disneyland with them. i know what shes doing but he think im bitching when i try to talk. she has a boyfriend also. she isnt there for him its only for her. last time they stayed she wanted to have him bring them home a day longer than agreed he said no and she got madd because she wanted to go shopping. he didnt even tell me about disnylnd. i think he talks to her dailey but he says no.but i see different on phone .any way what should i do ilove him and dont want to lose him but he is blind to her..


by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 6:29 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Monkeymama930
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:40 PM
That sucks! I think she is manipulating him, she probably doesn't want to be with him but she doesn't want him with anyone else either. And it sounds like she is using the kids as a way to keep him on a leash.
Maybe try to tell him you feel left out and want to spend more time with him and his kids.
And it sounds like he needs a cut and dry custody agreement set up ASSP. So she can't jerk him around anymore.

Good luck!
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cowgirl805
by New Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:24 PM

i try talking but all he sees is me bitching and ive told him that but no not her

NCmommie1012
by New Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM

she is manipulating the situation to her advantage. She doesn't want him but loves the fact that she still has control over him EVEN THOUGH he has a new woman. That power turns her on. It's not her fault however, ITS HIS!!! He is not seeing how disrespectful he is being to you and you all's relationship. You need to let him know that you don't like it and that you want to be included in his life, that includes his kids. If he can't tell his ex that you are a part of his life and WILL be included; take it or leave it, then maybe you shouldn't be with him. He might need to figure out what he really wants. Good luck

NCmommie1012
by New Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:06 PM

my step mother went through the same mess with my dad and his ex. she did the exact same thing. If you love him and you believe he loves you then fight. YOU may need to talk to her and find out what her deal is. Once u assert yourself and she understands that you are hear to stay, she may back off. it worked for my stepmom

cowgirl805
by New Member on May. 2, 2013 at 1:31 AM
Thank you lady's. I've tried all of these thing's and have not gotten through to him. even had my uncle say something. but nothing. i'm ready to give it up but I love him and want to fight it so she knows where I stand but lost when it comes down to dealing with her
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