Sleeping in Mom's bed..... I created a monster

[leen73]

When my little girl was 4 months old and came down with her first bad cold I had her sleep in bed with me; as a first time and single mom I made this dreaded mistake.  After her cold was gone in a week, I kept her in bed with me purely out of selfish reasons.  It was easier and more convenient to have her right there for night time feedings and I loved to snuggle with her.  Now a month shy of her 3 year birthday,she is still in my bed.  I really need some guidance as to how I can get her into a "big girl bed" and more importantly help her to feel secure enough to fall asleep with out me laying down with her.  Thanks for your suggestions.  :)

[Videokinggirl]

My son will be 5 in October.  We still have this problem as well.  His started when he was like 2 months old because we were still living with my parents and the bedroom that we had was very cold and actually the first winter with him in our lives there was ice that was forming in one corner of our bedroom.  So for warmth purposes he either slept in bed with mommy and daddy or on the couch with grandma.  So we kind of had to have him sleep with someone because I feared he would be too cold.  So our son only ends up in our bed a couple nights a week and he doesnt wander in until like 1 or 2 in the morning.  I just keep putting him in his bed at bedtime and he will fall asleep.  You just have to be consistent and she will fight but keep being consistent and eventually they will grow out of this habit.

[taylor05ann]

OMG I know this is hard its just to much fun to have a sweet heart in bed I love it

OK know the only prob I have is when she takes a nap she like to do it in our bed but sometimes ill take her when she has fallen asleep and bring her in her bed .

But I have to say I actually let her cry and scream and I sat by her door while she pounded I felt awful but I got to say she finally calmed down and is now sleeping in her bed all night some times she wakes up at like 4:30 but ill take her and bring her in our bed but this only happens every so often like a nightmare or something . but I got those stars that glow in the dark and Thur um on the ceiling and she loves them I turn on the light in her room a hour before bed time which is around 8:30 9:00 sometimes earlier but I'm not the best at all this  sometimes its tuff love  and i hate it i wish i could spoil the crap out of her but i just cant.

[kimmysue511]

our daughter is 5 and is still in our bed too. Our son slept with us to and he finally went to his bed when he was like 8. I look at is like this. They are only kids once and if they want to sleep with you let them . I think for our daughter she just feels safer and I am a college student and it is just easier for me. she will go to her bed when she is ready. My mom gives me hell about it and so does everyone else but it is our child and we make the decisions if it is not bothering you let it go they will eventually go to their own bed. And one day you will want them to sleep with you and they wont want to so enjoy them and it while you still can.          good luck

[HeatherRoberson]

My 3 yr old let us know she was ready to go ni nite by herself.  She still falls a sleep in our bed, but before we go to bed we move her to her bed with her cuppy and favorite stuffed animal.

BUT NOW my son is in his big boy bed and when he wakes ups he comes to sleep with us.  We have gotten him to fall alseep in his own bed by putting a gate up across his door so he can't get out of his room.  I feel very uncomfortable doing that, but it works.

Like SuperNanny says, "YOU have to be consistant." When they come in your bed, get up and put them back." It DOES work but if you get lazy like we have it all comes crashing down.

GOOD Luck

Heather

 

[ilovemyboys2]

I am brand new to this group and stumbled on to this post. We had the same problem with our three year old and found that if we rewarded him with Chocolate milk in the morning he stays in his own bed. In a way it's bribery but it has really worked out for us and he only comes into our room every so often now. Now we are working on my 2 year old who has suddenly decided that coming into mom and dad's bed is cool. We will be trying the same thing with him.

[vptanya]

I let my daughter sleep in my bed as well when she was little.  I also was a single mom at the time.  Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it, when my daughter was around that age, she would come in and sleep with me sometimes, but I had bought her a toddler bed and all and she would sleep in it most of the time.  Yes I would lay down with her also for a little while when I put her to bed.  One thing that I learned from my sister was to talk to her about how things are going to go when you put her to bed and tell her how long you'll lay with her.  Then lay down with her for lets say 10 minutes at first because it'll be tough but then work your way down to lets say 7 minutes then to 5 minutes and then eventually to 3 minutes and then it won't be such a big deal to get her to bed.  Believe me it will all work out, and she will grow out of it eventually.  My daughter did.  She's 11 now and every once in a while she'll ask to sleep with me, and if my husband allows it then that's fine, but alot of the time she'll settle with just sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor at the foot of my bed. 

[jamielv81]

this worked to get my son to sleep in his bed for the most part at first and then all together later (he would still like to climb in bed with me when he wakes up but not all night). Try sleeping with your child till they fall asleep and then slowly start using a large stuff animal inbetween you guys and then go to you being out of the bed but the suffed animal is still there. That worked for my oldest. With my youngest I realized that it wasn't only the people company he liked but the fact that our bed was a lot more comfortable so I put a few kids blankets under his sheet so that is was a little softer and he has been sleeping "like a baby" ;-) since. I was so excited when that worked....I hope that this helps...good luck

[Little_bug]

Although it is heart breaking this is nanny Jo's solution.  You put them in bed and SAY good night ONCE and only once, before they are in bed make sure they go potty, have their drink of water(not too much now), gave you hugs and kissed etc etc.  Once they are in bed that's it.  When they get up and come out you don't say a word, just take them back to bed and put them there, cover them up and DO NOT SAY A WORD make NO eye contact and when you put them in bed this time no hugs or kisses or anything.  If you are asked a question DO NOT aknowledge it.  We have been having to do this simply because DD does not want to go to bed.