HELP!!! What would supernanny do?

[Viperkaylin]

My daughter is five years old and obviously a little too spoiled. She throws huge fits for stupid reasons like she will only wear a certain pair of underwear and if they are dirty then she throws a fit. She doesn't want to wipe her own butt, she wants mommy or daddy to do it for her so she'll sit on the toilet forever throwing a fit. I take her t.v. away from her (tonight I took it away and it's gone for a long time..at least a week depending on her fits), I've taken all playdates away which is a big thing for her cuz she loves to play with her friends....but none of these keep her from throwing the fit. She gets upset when I take her t.v. away or take her playdates away, but she'll keep throwing the fit instead of thinking maybe I should stop so I can get them back. Talking to her and explaining why she is in trouble or why she can't wear the panties (cuz they are dirty) or why she needs to wipe her own butt (she's five years old!!!!) doesn't work at all. Taking things away doesn't work. Bribing/rewarding her doesn't work. I AM AT MY WITS END WITH THIS DEMON CHILD!!!!! (I love her so don't think I am being serious about the demon part...I'm just frustrated with her). Please someone give me some advice before I end up in the psych ward!!!!!!!!

[McKat]

I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice on this.  The only thing I can say is I think the Nanny would tell you to ignore her fits completely, telling her to come see you when she's done.  And at the same time, totally refuse to wipe her butt, even if she sits there having a fit for an hour, that would be her choice.  Even giver her the choice of sitting there crying for a long time, or wipe her own butt and be done real quick.  I know the Nanny says that you are supposed to NOT respond to fits, cuz it's your response they are trying to get.  Always remember, if they end up with results they want, the fits will never end.  If they don't EVER get what they want with a fit, it should stop.

So, maybe I did have a little advice!  Don't know how good will be for you, but I tried.  Good luck, I know how it feels to love your child, but be completely frustrated with them at the same time!  It's normal! 

[Little_bug]

First, I know Jo would ake tha ttv away FOR GOOD.  She's 5 she doesn't need her own tv.  Second, the naughty point.  You need to set one up and every time there is a fit you put her on it.  Put her in her naughty spot, tell her why she is there(make sure she is sitting up and looking at you when you tell her, make her show you respect) set the timer and when the timer goes off you go back to her, explain again why she went there and give hugs and kisses.  If she chooses to get up you put her back and restart the timer.  As far as the panties go, explain to her that you do laundry(however often) and she can only wear those panties once in that time so maybe she would like to go to the store and pick out some others she likes jsut as much.  Also explain to her that she needs to wipe herself, do you have kando?  Maybe she is nto feeling like she gets clean enough, so maybe the kando wipes would help.  Tell her you will no longer be coming in to wipe her, and she will do it herself or she will spend the day/night on the potty.  Keep your tone even and try not to hollar.  Good luck

[Viperkaylin]

We got the t.v. so she could watch only education type dvd's and play her Dora around the world game (another educational game). She doesn't get to watch whatever she wants on it. But she loves her learning stuff so it pisses her off when I take it away from her. She has a time out spot where she goes and that doesn't faze her in the least bit. I left her on the toilet for almost an hour last night waiting for her to stop her fit and she still didn't. I won't do that again because the poop dried and was terrible to get off. She's very mad that she can't watch her videos today and that she lost her playdates, but I don't know if that will make her stop these fits. She is doing the same thing that my 10 yo neice does and she has ADHD and ODD, so I am hoping and praying this is just a phase!! Thanks to both of the responders for your advice. I guess we'll have to wait and see if no t.v. and no playdates will make her shape up or not.

Quoting Little_bug:

First, I know Jo would ake tha ttv away FOR GOOD.  She's 5 she doesn't need her own tv.  Second, the naughty point.  You need to set one up and every time there is a fit you put her on it.  Put her in her naughty spot, tell her why she is there(make sure she is sitting up and looking at you when you tell her, make her show you respect) set the timer and when the timer goes off you go back to her, explain again why she went there and give hugs and kisses.  If she chooses to get up you put her back and restart the timer.  As far as the panties go, explain to her that you do laundry(however often) and she can only wear those panties once in that time so maybe she would like to go to the store and pick out some others she likes jsut as much.  Also explain to her that she needs to wipe herself, do you have kando?  Maybe she is nto feeling like she gets clean enough, so maybe the kando wipes would help.  Tell her you will no longer be coming in to wipe her, and she will do it herself or she will spend the day/night on the potty.  Keep your tone even and try not to hollar.  Good luck

[Little_bug]

I watch Nanny religiously and she would tell you that it will take some patience and you will have to deal with some gross stuff, but, in the end it will be worth it.  It' like the people who can't get their kid to sleep in their own bed;  you put them in the bed, sit ajacent to the bed w/o looking and when they get up you get up and don't look at them and don't say a word and put them back.  It may take 65 times of them getitng out of bed and an hour and a half -2 hours, but you will have them in bed and sleeping in their own bed, and, it may take a week of doing this, but, you will be able to put them down normally before you realize it.  Consitancy is key!.  Where is her tv?  In her room?  Even though it is for educational stuff that is a bad idea and nanny would tell you to put it in a communal place; a play room, livingroom, family room, diningroom.  Just like the kids who have computers in their rooms.  Parents of those children say it's just for school work(they are older but stay with me on this) those kids end up doing things on it they are not suposed to;  your DD likes this tv therefor although it is educational it IS entertainment, she doesn't realize she is learning, you do.  You need to be consistant, don't give in after 2 or 3 days, stick with it no matter what, be parents of your word, if you say this is going to be the consequense then make it so, if you say she is going to get this reward or you are going somewhere, make it so.  Don't back down/out, there has to be structure.  Do you watch Nanny?  Supernanny or Nanny 911, they are both GREAT.

Quoting Viperkaylin:

We got the t.v. so she could watch only education type dvd's and play her Dora around the world game (another educational game). She doesn't get to watch whatever she wants on it. But she loves her learning stuff so it pisses her off when I take it away from her. She has a time out spot where she goes and that doesn't faze her in the least bit. I left her on the toilet for almost an hour last night waiting for her to stop her fit and she still didn't. I won't do that again because the poop dried and was terrible to get off. She's very mad that she can't watch her videos today and that she lost her playdates, but I don't know if that will make her stop these fits. She is doing the same thing that my 10 yo neice does and she has ADHD and ODD, so I am hoping and praying this is just a phase!! Thanks to both of the responders for your advice. I guess we'll have to wait and see if no t.v. and no playdates will make her shape up or not.

Quoting Little_bug:

First, I know Jo would ake tha ttv away FOR GOOD.  She's 5 she doesn't need her own tv.  Second, the naughty point.  You need to set one up and every time there is a fit you put her on it.  Put her in her naughty spot, tell her why she is there(make sure she is sitting up and looking at you when you tell her, make her show you respect) set the timer and when the timer goes off you go back to her, explain again why she went there and give hugs and kisses.  If she chooses to get up you put her back and restart the timer.  As far as the panties go, explain to her that you do laundry(however often) and she can only wear those panties once in that time so maybe she would like to go to the store and pick out some others she likes jsut as much.  Also explain to her that she needs to wipe herself, do you have kando?  Maybe she is nto feeling like she gets clean enough, so maybe the kando wipes would help.  Tell her you will no longer be coming in to wipe her, and she will do it herself or she will spend the day/night on the potty.  Keep your tone even and try not to hollar.  Good luck