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Me Too

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 10:49 PM
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I am 41 years old, my husband is 56. We have 5 children between us. his/mine/and ours ranging in age from 26 down to 11 years old. just went to his high school reunion and i was the youngest person in the room. how often does that happen at 41 years old? lol!

also a grandma!!!! Our first grandbaby turned 1 in June!
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 10:49 PM
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cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Jul. 30, 2007 at 10:02 AM

I am really glad your responded.  I don't know what this group can provide everyone.....maybe if you need a place to vent about stuff this is the place you will find most fitting.  I hope you visit again.  It is just nice to know that there are other people out there that may live a similar life.  I know I have gotten some "looks" towards us when we are out together as a couple.  I know that people make judgements, but oh well.  My husband is an awesome guy and I consider myself lucky to have him in my life.  Do you get to see your grandbaby often?  I worry about that cause there are two grandma's in this family.  I couldn't bear to think that I wont get to see her often.  Well, I am really glad to meet you.  Hope to hear from you again.  If there is every anything on your mind......or need to get off your chest......you can vent here.  I will ALSO do the same, believe me. lol  Bye for now!

cookofdeath
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 10:30 AM
Well lets see, I remember when we started dating i was in my twenties and he would say to me, "aren't you embarassed being a young, beautiful girl with an old fart on your arm in public? we look like a joke don't we?"  i found that sweet and endearing, and he was very handsome.

our gradaughter lives in alaska because our son is stationed in alaska with the army.

as for the ex~wife: well she had our 26, 25, and 19 year old. the 25 year old was always closer to us than the ex and he's the one with the grandbaby.

the ex was not a mean woman , but a very selfish , money grubbing type.

she passed away two days after the grandbaby was born. whereas that has its (plusses) bad points....the lazy, good for nothing 19 year old stepson moved in with us. this kid is the laziest, dirtiest kid ever invented. i just don't raise my kids to wallow in their own filth, so having him here is a problem. If left to my own devices this kid would be on the street but DH coddles him. he is not a bad kid, no drugs or "trouble" just apathetic to everything.

DH and i have been together for 13 years august.
cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Jul. 30, 2007 at 11:49 AM
Sounds like how our relationship started out.....the comments your husband made while dating were similar to mine.  My husband had so many insecurities and trust issues when we began dating, but it has gotten better over the years.   His ex-wife cheated on him many times and it was hard for him to trust me for quite a while.  I would say he still has some issues now and again, but nothing severe or anything like that.  I feel for you, and having to put up with the 19-year-old living in your home.  I mean, I would have difficulty putting up with that type of person too.  Now, it's another thing if they are real motivated, clean, etc. and living with you, then that can be more manageable.  I hope that things improve and do hope your DH understands that his some needs to "grow up."  Sorry, hope I wasn't out of line with that statement.  I am glad that it sounds like you have a good relationship with your stepson and grandbaby.  My stepsons are close to their mom, and that presents a problem for me.  I always feel like I should be "closer" to them but I guess it just isn't going to happen.....cause they have a bio mom in their life.   Oh well. i wont go there, I could go on and on and on and nobody should have to put up with that. lol  Thanks for writing back.  I am off work until August 13th then I go back to work at an Elementary School I work at.  I am kinda ready to go back but I sure enjoy being off  and don't want it to end :( 
cookofdeath
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 12:29 PM
no worries here, i've said way worse! lol. i told stepson to his face , "you had better pray hard and long that your father remains healthy because he wont be cold and your lazy ass will be on the street." It does help that his brother, and sister (also a teacher! high school science) totally agree with me. My husband and my husband's mother are the enablers.

It's great you have off till mid august (sort of) what grade do you teach? or did i miss that. my youngest is in 6th this year. don'tyou , as  a teacher, HATE parents who refuse to believe their little angels are capable of foul behavior? The first day of school each year I would call the teacher personally and tell them, "If you have any problems with Ross ask him if he wants to be "electronics grounded" (that means if it plugs into a wall or takes batteries you can't have it) , if that doesn't work, call me and he will be." I found this worked great for us with all the boys! lol!
eyes2blue68
by Member on Jul. 30, 2007 at 2:10 PM
I'm a newlywed on my 2nd marriage to Geary.  I'm 38 and he's 51.  It's a huge challenge for me.  My first husband died when my son was six and that was heartbreaking.  Philip doesn't seem to miss his bio dad that much but there are lots of changes having a stepdad.  None of Geary's kids live with us.  The three I've met seek AOK with me and don't ruffle my feathers.  The rest either live out of state or cop an attitude so hey, 50% liking me will do til they start respecting me. 

I really don't see the first ex wife so hurrah for that.  We're doing a child support modification on his 2nd wife for the last child at home (age 16) and it's a struggle and control thing with that ex!  I'm low on the list.  Kids from 1st marriage are really attached to wife #2, their stepmom.  I'm not trying to intrude in their lives but the phone works both ways.  When they want to meet me, they will.  I just don't like being blamed for things their father did like not inviting them to the wedding.  At the time I warned him they'd be hurt and now after learning their personalities, I'm glad they didn't come as it would have ruined "OUR" day.

I pray for peace as once the child support modification is at court, all hell will break loose.  Today is ex-wfie #2's last chance to submit her "standard language" document to my lawyer else we go before a judge in 2-3 weeks.  It is wrong of me to wish the judge thinks this woman is stupid but I can't handle women who have the attitude "It's all about me."  I'm an open person and the kids I've met confide in me about her and some of what they say blows me away.  I just let them know I'm here if they need to talk.  I want them to maintain a good relationship with their Dad and won't mind if they don't want me present when they come to visit.

There is so much more I could say but I've been bummed the last couple months from the ex-wife trying to control what we do.  My husband is happy now after being married to 2 cheaters and knows I'd give my life for him but I won't dare hang around any of his children that don't respect me.


eeyore92704
by Member on Jul. 30, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Hi all thanks for letting me join this group.

My name is Rebecca but you may call me Becca.  I am 30 and my hubby will be 40 in Decemeber.  We have 4 children between the two of us: his, mine, and ours.  Our youngest Devyn will be 3 in Septmeber, it was a big change for the both of us.  Our other children are Champane 12, Glenn-E 9, and Casey 10.  As you can see it was a new beginning for both of us and for my hubby an unwanted one.  He was married to a women who treated their kids like crap and was alwasy jelous of the kids, she wanted everything to go back to when they didnt have any kids.  Now she has not been in their life for over a year and it has been wonderful.
Though when I got pregnant it was a total different story, he had two children I had 1 and he thought that was enough.  He was of course older and was done with the baby thing and was not real happy when we found out I was PG.  It took him a while to adjust and wouldnt accept it until I started to show and Devyn started to move around.  Now they are closer than ever.
It is difficult at times having the age difference but we have managed.  We met online, and I lived in Michigan and he lived in Utah.  We chatted, emailed and called each other for three months before I decided to move to Utah and it was a blessing.  We love each other and he is the best father and husband anyone could ever have.  He very devoted to his family and would work three jobs just to have the added things we dont need.

I know I ramble and I am sorry for that but thats my story and I'm sticking to it   LOL

Becca
cookofdeath
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 3:07 PM
we were VERY lucky, the ex wife was sooooo nasty that even though the three minor children lived with her at the time, her request for child support was denied. hehehe. now DH is a great guy and he knew the state of pa's formula so he voluntarily paid his 35 percent. he paid right up until the last (captain useless) dropped out of high school, you know he was 18 and in tenth grade. the month we wrote the very last support check, she (ex)passed away the next month...spooky.

child support to me just causes alot of drama and hate on every side. i never asked for a dime in support. i was lucky at the time that i was working, me and my ex's schedules worked out so i let him babysit his own son for free in lue of support. for us it was win/win i had the best babysitter there is for free and he didn't have to give me money!
darmika
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 4:50 PM

My husband is 41 & I am 26. We've had a lot of people talk shit, but I love him & he loves me, no matter what the age is. Age is nothing but a state of mind. I do, however, disagree with minors dating older people. I think that both parties should be grown enough to know what to expect and be able to deal with it as adults. My husband & I might be different ages, but we are basically on the same page as far as what we want in life, and the kind of family we want to raise. That is the most important thing in any marriage. God Bless & Good Luck to all of you.
cookofdeath
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 11:37 PM

You know what? I personally found men my own age immature. They wanted to drink, play with their friends, act up, spend money on "toys". I like an older man. They are settled, appreciative, stay home, have a work ethic, they are better fathers (more patience) and I'm sorry....way better in bed, lol.

cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:14 AM
I work as a Paraprofessional, which means I assist the special education teacher.  I work in Early Childhood and the kids are 3-5 years old.  I have a bachelor's degree but it is not in education.  I wish I had a teaching certificate, but it is kinda nice not having all the responsibiities that come with being an actual teacher.  I do alot in the classroom; i maintain our classroom webpage for one.....that i thoroughly enjoy.  I would love to send you the link to that if you ever want to check it out.  It is my project and I enjoy it soooo much.  I do not have any pictures of the kids on their since I have it all empty in preparation for the upcoming school year. 

I understand where you are coming from though.  I think that some parent's are very "blinded" or perhaps just "oblivious" of their child's behavior  problems.  It is a shame! 

Gotta go for now!  Talk again soon. :)
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