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Just some thoughts

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:52 PM
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Ok, so I just had a grandbaby that is absolutely adorable!  She's plastered all over my page, lol.  I was thinking about upcoming holidays (yea, i know, but I think way too much about stuff that's not even here yet).  I don't want my stepson, DIL and grandbaby to think they HAVE to go to three different places on Thanksgiving.  I don't want to have to be the one to make different plans for the holiday, cause I really want them here with us, but I am trying to be empathetic.  It's just....if I schedule Thanksgiving another day then that means other relatives would also have to come a different day.  If we did it would have to likely be the Sat. after (cause some family relatives might have to work on Fri.).  But, that just seems so unfair.  I just know that if we have Thanksgiving here without my stepson and family, that our other family members will be disappointed.  What do you all think?  Do you understand where I am coming from?  Any advice or comments?  Am I thinking and worrying way too hard about this??? lol

by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-8):
eyes2blue68
by Member on Aug. 1, 2007 at 2:57 AM
Well, I have more family than I know what to do with and for the most part mine are all out of state including my deceased husband's family.  Thanksgiving of last year my husband had just passed away so all his side and mine of immediate family were here.  Christmas was in TN with my family for the relatives who couldn't fly to Texas.  Now that I've remarried I have no clue what the holidays will be like this year as I haven't met all the stepchildren and have no clue how they celebrate with their bio moms, husband's family members and the like. 

I don't think you are crazy.  I worry how the heck I'm gonna handle birthdays and Christmas related to presents.  Thanksgiving for us was usually dine with other friends and do a potluck if no family would come.  Christmas was a rotation. One year his side, one year my side, one year stay at home.  It's all awkward now being remarried as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I can't jump thru hoops either.  I just have to play it by ear as I'm a far cry from a gourmet chef much less a Paula Deen. 

I tend to keep things simple.  I've learned going to a buffet dinner is too crowded for me so basically I think I'll let word out I'm having traditional turkey day on Thursday and maybe a movie night on the weekend with snack/finger foods.  I'm such a homebody and hate to dress up that works for me.  We're all adjusting to the changes and loss of my first husband and dealing with the different personalities of the stepchildren.  Thank God for Zoloft!
cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:23 AM

 I appreciate your reply.  

 I am sorry to hear about your loss.  I imagine it has been or will be difficult getting through the holidays, because for me that is when I would miss their presence even more.   I guess I would just like to have everybody content and happy and do what works for everyone.  It's just not that easy to do now is it??? lol  I am a people pleaser, what can i say?  I am not a chef, but I like to cook, especially on holidays.  I know things will just have to work out.....I will have to talk to relative and see what their ideas might be. 

I hope you have a great day!!  Hope to talk to you again soon.

carmen

cookofdeath
by on Aug. 3, 2007 at 12:44 AM
honestly, we always did our own thing for thanksgiving and let the kids go wherever they wanted. i'm not a big thanksgiving fan so that probably helps. my favorite thanksgivings are spent with DH and youngest, no dressing up, no drama, no giant meal to prepare, just parades.
cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Aug. 3, 2007 at 9:29 AM
I guess I am such a traditionalist.  I think that holidays are time for  a big family affair.  I feel lonely when the whole family (oldest boys and wife/girlfriend) do not share it together.  I enjoy making dinner for Thanksgiving.  I feel like I am the only one that does want to do it though.  So, part of me taking it on is because other family members can't really do it.  My SIL is a wonderful person but not much of a cook and my dad and MIL usually do there own thing at their house. 

Oh well, I will just have to figure out something that works for my loved one's and go with that.....i might have to bend a little, but I think I can deal with that.
cookofdeath
by on Aug. 4, 2007 at 12:11 PM
you know what? it could be the very small family i come from. i'm an only child, my mother has one brother who has one child, i have one set of grandparents. so our family affairs were pretty small anyway. that may color my opinion. and dh's family is like an episode of jerry springer so we'd rather not deal with them at all. so that could explain our lack of interest. lol.
cmbsjb
by Group Owner on Aug. 5, 2007 at 10:45 AM
We actually have a pretty small family too.  But, the my DH ex-wife has a very big family and the two SS always are sharing in hoidays/birthdays and any other special event with them.  It is hard to share them at times.....cause I have to share them with the BIG family. LOL   I have some family on my side, but I feel like you.......Jerry Springer would kinda explain them too......but I don't have any communication with them at all.   When I was growing up I guess we did get together with extended family, so I guess it just feels natural for me to want that now. 
cookofdeath
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 5:49 PM
yeah, i just love quiet. and with four boys that can be a difficult thing to achieve!
FairMom
by Member on Oct. 11, 2007 at 2:57 AM
How odd.  I never thought I would hear someone refer to "all the family together for Thanksgiving" as traditional and out of date.  I myself have an extremely large family (about 50 of us).  But it comes with a price.  We used to live close then gradually moved to sections all around the country.  Until I was a teenager, ALL the family got together and it was mandatory, even if there ensued a feud.  Now, for the past 10 years or so, Thanksgiving would come around and whomever was not busy would make food and a couple of times I would make dinner at my parents' and it would just be me, Dad, Mom, Sis, dogs and cats..lol  We didn't have some cookie-cuter ideal of what it was supposed to be because we were simply focused on the love we had for one another.  If there was anyone that did not want to attend (my brother, quite often), we didn't let it ruin our special day.  To us, a holiday is just that, a time to relax and enjoy each other's company!

And of course, play cards!!!! LOL
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