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Introductions.

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 2:38 PM
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I am Carissa.  My father is a recovering alcoholic, sober for 15 years.  My mother is an alcoholic/addict who still suffers.  After my daughter was born, I developed Post Partum Depression and decided to seek help.  At 22 I am just now starting to deal with the events of my childhood and their lingering effects on my life today.  We never realize how much our parents' actions affect us until later. 
Now, I am doing everything I can to make sure my daughter does not suffer from my emotional problems.  I am a Perfectionist with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which I have since learned is very common among Adult Children of Alcoholics and Addicts.  I am learning to forgive my parents for their addictions and subsequent neglect and working on allowing myself to be happy with who I am. 
I think this would be a good place for us to talk about what happened and to help each other heal in order to raise happy, healthy children of our own. 
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 2:38 PM
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Replies (1-7):
sneakyjackson82
by New Member on Oct. 25, 2007 at 4:01 PM
Hello my name is Karen.  My parents are extremes on both ends my mother never touches a drink and my father drink every night.  I suppose he is considered a functioning alcoholic because he rarely passes out from drinking and manages to go to work everyday. 

My father and I have a horrible relationship.  I find myself saying I hate him. but that may be a little extreme to say.  I know I will feel bad when he dies.  I just don't want to talk to him. Wow I am bitter!  How can healing take place when I cant talk to him.  I see all the time I go to my parents house with my kids daily.  I do make small take occationally but that usually ends with him saying something rude to me or my husband. 

I blame him for my brother being an alcoholic.  I feel so bad for him because he tried to quit after his daughter was born.  But showed up at my house shaking very bad and begging for a drink.  If my father didn't drink with him or teach him to be that way he might be okay.  I am scared for him because he passes out a lot all over the houses.  we find him on the kitchen floor quit often. 
logansmomma2007
by on Oct. 25, 2007 at 5:24 PM
My name is Lorel.  I guess it all started when my parents divorced.  On one extreme my father went toward religion and my mother started to drink more heavily. 

My father went on to remarry 2 times and my mother had various live in boyfriends that enabled her drinking.  I lived with my mother until I was 12.  We lived off of the government and my grandmother.  My mother and I fought often...about my father...her drinking...ect.  Eventually the pressure of living in this environment came to a head.  I moved with my father thinking this would be better.  Boy was I wrong.  My father did not do any better raising us.  We were pushed to the side for the sake of his new marriage.  My sister and I were free to do what we wanted with very little guidelines.  We partied and stayed out overnight many times without telling him where we were. 

I grew up thinking I was unaffected by all of this.  I made good grades throughout school.  I graduated college.  I led a pretty active social life.  It wasn't until I started dating my husband that I started to notice I was different.  I let little things get me upset and often got hysterical when we fought....I would cry over things that were trivial....I had problems showing affection....I was a control freak....and many other issues that I still work on today.  After my mother passed away I started to drink heavily and would often pass out drunk.  This was a bad habit up until I got pregnant with Logan.  Ever since then I have pretty much been alcohol free with the occasional drink every now and then.  I now realize that I too have a problem with alcohol.  

That is why I am here....to get the support of others that have gone through the same thing.     
KatrinaS
by New Member on Nov. 21, 2007 at 10:11 PM
Hi I am Katrina a 26 year old SAHM of Austin who is almost 3 and Brooke who is 5mths. I have an alcoholic father. For as long as I can remember and still today as I sit here he is an alcoholic. I have struggled with this I think just as much as he has. I went through horrible unending emotional and verbal abuse through my childhood and now that I am grown I just want my father and everything I didn't have from him as a child. My parents divorced because of this just before my 21st birthday (what a present)!  I struggle with my marriage because of all the worries I have because of my parents marriage failing. I don't really know what else to say except I hope this group gives me an outlet to vent to others who understand what I've been through and am going through. God Bless!

FrosJennBug
by on Nov. 24, 2007 at 6:13 PM
I'm Jenn, 22, mother of Piper Lynn, who is 19 months old.  My mother was a frequent drug user when I was a child.  She met my stepfather, an alcoholic, and ended up marrying him.  My father is wonderful, but has lived in Illinois (states away from us) since the divorce.  As years went by my mother replace her drugs with alcohol and became dependent on it.  It has affected me in a terrible way, but I am doing a wonderful job in overcoming everything I've been through, thanks to my amazing husband, Brandon.  Unfortunately, my 20 year old sister isn't doing well.  My life is devoted to my loving family of three and helping my sister to heal from the madness we've been through.

 ~Jenn

  


momof4vkds602
by New Member on Dec. 14, 2007 at 10:44 AM
Hi I am Brandi and I have 4 children, Victoria is 5, Korbin is 2, Drennen is 13 months, and Stevi Ann is 3 months.  I am the product of 2 functioning alcaholics.  I love my parents dearly.  They made me and they raised me.  But my dad drank everyday as did my mom.  My sisters and I spent every weekend w/  a teenage babysitter until I was old enough to babysit (12)  Then we spent every weekend alone. 
  Sometimes they came home drunk and faught and sometimes they came home w/ a wrecked up car.  And they drove drunk w/ us in the car. 
  My mom left when I was 16.  I had to quit school to take care of my dad and sisters the youngest was 5.  My dad had his own business at the time and worked alot.  I moved out when I was 17.  I rarely ever drink for fear of addiction and I never drink in front of my kids. 
  Thou now I am married to a functioning alcaholic who I love w/ all of my heart therefore totally enable.  Except for when dealing w/ my kids.  He never will be able to be different w/ them when he is drinking.  I won't let him.  Other than that I stay at home w/ my kids.  And have what I consider a very blessed life.  Not w/ money but w/ happiness! 
ScorpioGrl3
by on Jan. 4, 2008 at 9:55 AM
I'm so glad to see this group :)

My dad is an alcoholic.  He left when I was young but it still had lasting effects.  He was in court-ordered treatment programs and jail.  He'd stay out all hours doing God knows what or disappear for awhile.  He'd come home w/ a wrecked car.  He'd leave the scene of accidents.  Cops were at our house looking for him.  He was destructive when drinking.  He'd show up to work drunk or sometimes not at all and would get fired.  His mother was an alcoholic, as were his brothers.

FFWD to my hs graduation:  my mom for whatever reason brought him into town the night prior and wanted me to sit up w/ him all night to talk but I didn't want any part of it.  I was so traumatized, I was a no-show at my own graduation.

FFWD to a few yrs. ago, he had quadruple bypass open heart surgery and wanted to see me and meet my dh and kids.  We went w/ my mom.  It was very weird.

He kept in very sporadic contact.  A couple yrs. ago he wanted to keep in contact by exchanging audio tapes - kinda like an audio letter b/c he doesnt like to write and isnt a good speller, so is very self-conscious.  even though it was weird for me in many aspects (i'm MUCH better at writing than speaking), I conceded since he seemed to making an effort.  He is still drinking though.  He wanted to come visit.  I told him if he was still drinking, I didn't want him around my family.  He understood but ultimately chose the drink over us.  He said he enjoys drinking daily and has no plans to quit.  And that's the last I've heard from him.  He did manage to tell me how proud of me he is.  That (in maybe some twisted way) really did mean a lot b/c it shows that even though he doesnt even know me, he loves me unconditionally simply based on the fact that I'm his daughter.  I was never good enough in my mom's eyes and her and I never got along.

As for me, I've never liked drinking, so that's a non-issue for me.
DH however comes from a drinking family.  I wouldn't say they are alcoholics, but they enjoy their drink.  He knows where I stand and there is no alcohol in our house.

Well, that is my long story I tried to whittle down LOL.  I'm looking fwd to getting to know you all!

Did you grow up an only child? Come join me!
http://www.cafemom.com/group/lonelyonly

sherriewlk
by New Member on Jan. 7, 2008 at 10:01 PM
Hey! I cant believe i found this group..

My name is sherrie..im 20 and my dad is an alcoholic and has been for about 8 years on and off...The past year things have got dramaticaly worse. He got a dwi..he almost drank himself to death...hes bad...i am waiting to hear a phone call saying drinking has killed him (as bad as that sounds) ...He has went to rehad twice and no luck. I find myself getting caught in his disease as he uses me sometimes to get money off of or just someone to feel bad for him...he has lost alot. He was always my favorite person in the world..i was always the biggest daddies girl...Im sooo scared of loosing him its pathetic. It causes problems with me and my boyfriend because i still care about him...he hates what my dad does to me. So I dont have any support at all...noone seems to understand. 

if anyone cares to talk, message me, i would love to talk to someone who wont judge me and also understands what im going threw
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