Question about bathing and kids

[AprilMay1313]

Question:  Is it OK for siblings to share a bath? (same sex, opposite)  Up until what age? What about sharing a bath with mom or dad?

I am very curious about the different responses we will all have.  I also want to know if there are any religious or cultural influences that guide your rules for or against group bathing.

I friend of mine shared a story of how she had a group of kids ages ranging from 6 to 1 over for a party.  They got messy with crafts so she just but them all in the bath.  When the other parents came to pick up there kids they were freaked out.   I wouldn't have done it. I think a 6 year old boy and a 1 year old girl should not bath together, but it brought up a very interesting topic that nobody talks about. 

She shared here story during our yoga play-date, so it was interesting to hear what the other moms thoughts were.  By the way even though some of the moms disagreed we all supported her.  Her norms where just different from some of the other parents.  And if nobody talks about it how are we to know!

This is my first post (not a reply) in this group!!! I'm so excited!!

[fabulosa]

congrats on your first post!
i think there are too many factors to consider when saying 'yes, they should bathe together until age x'.  however, i think that bathing anyone else's kids is sort of out of line.  that's just me, though.  i would bathe my best friend's kid if they got dirty, but i think i would be weirded out if my kid was just attending a party and got a bath in the meantime.  i'm not so sure that it has anything to do with ages.  unless they crapped their pants or something, a kid over about 3 has no business getting a bath at someone else's house.  that's just me, though.  i'll be interesting to read other responses.

[luvu410]

I let my girls take a bath together. Idk when I'll have them stop. I guess when they don't want to take one w each other. I let my 5 year old boy take a bath w my 3 year old girl until she was a little over a year. That's when he started talking about her private area. I don't think older girls and boys should bathe together. I definitely wouldn't put a group of children in a bath together even if they were the same sex lol. JMO :)

O, and congrats on your first post!  :)

[BigMommaJesca]

Hmmm...I haven't really thought about at what age that should stop.  My daughter's 5, and she still gets thrown in the bath with her male friends and cousins if a bath is due.  And she bathes with her 9 mo old sister a lot, too.  I guess I'd stop when it started to make her feel uncomfortable.  If she said to me "Moo-ooom, I don't want him to see me naked, he's a BOY!"  then I'd definitely say "Ok, no problem; you can go second."  As it is, though, it's just a lot easier that way.

With same-sexers, though, I guess I've never really STOPPED bathing with my friends.  If a close girlfriend and I go out swimming or something, and just need to rinse the cholrine off, we'll hit the shower together.  "Pass the shampoo."  I know, though, that I'm a lot more open than a lot of people with my body.  A bunch of friends and I are totally closet nudists.  The only time it was ever weird was the time when my best friend had already hit puberty, but it hadn't even really occurred to me yet that I was going to get "hair down there" someday.  Ak-ward!

[BigMommaJesca]

Quoting fabulosa:

congrats on your first post!
i think there are too many factors to consider when saying 'yes, they should bathe together until age x'.  however, i think that bathing anyone else's kids is sort of out of line.  that's just me, though.  i would bathe my best friend's kid if they got dirty, but i think i would be weirded out if my kid was just attending a party and got a bath in the meantime.  i'm not so sure that it has anything to do with ages.  unless they crapped their pants or something, a kid over about 3 has no business getting a bath at someone else's house.  that's just me, though.  i'll be interesting to read other responses.

I can see your point about strangers bathing kids.  I don't know, though...if my 5 yo got covered in fingerpaint or something, I'd RATHER she get a bath than be sent home that way!

[brookmomto3]

This is interesting!

I have two boys and one girl. The boys are 3 and 5 and they bathe together almost every time. But once my older one gets bigger then he will move up to taking showers on his own. I'm thinking maybe 6 or 7. However, my daughter gets her very own baths. I don't allow the boys to be in there with her because I don't believe boys should be bathing with girls. Unless they are twins or really close in age. Then even with that once they get to a certain age I don't think they should be bathing together. I think if they were twins then 4 or 5, maybe 6 is too old.

As for your friend that just threw several kids in the same bath from ages 1 to 6. I think it would totally depend on the kids' maturity level. But then again, since they weren't her kids then they should have gotten their own separate baths or just washed off with a washcloth. I think I would get a little weirded out if someone did that with my oldest. I don't think I would allow him to go back over there. Now, if the mother would have called me and told me what was up and asked if it would be okay, then I'd probably be more likely to say ok. But that also depends on how well I know the other parents.

[luvu410]

Quoting BigMommaJesca:



With same-sexers, though, I guess I've never really STOPPED bathing with my friends. If a close girlfriend and I go out swimming or something, and just need to rinse the cholrine off, we'll hit the shower together. "Pass the shampoo." I know, though, that I'm a lot more open than a lot of people with my body. A bunch of friends and I are totally closet nudists. The only time it was ever weird was the time when my best friend had already hit puberty, but it hadn't even really occurred to me yet that I was going to get "hair down there" someday. Ak-ward!

Same here.  I was on the swim team, and showered w my female friends all the time.  If I go to the gym w a female friend, I change in front of her.  I don't really care.  :)

[fabulosa]

Quoting BigMommaJesca:

Quoting fabulosa:

congrats on your first post!
i think there are too many factors to consider when saying 'yes, they should bathe together until age x'.  however, i think that bathing anyone else's kids is sort of out of line.  that's just me, though.  i would bathe my best friend's kid if they got dirty, but i think i would be weirded out if my kid was just attending a party and got a bath in the meantime.  i'm not so sure that it has anything to do with ages.  unless they crapped their pants or something, a kid over about 3 has no business getting a bath at someone else's house.  that's just me, though.  i'll be interesting to read other responses.

I can see your point about strangers bathing kids.  I don't know, though...if my 5 yo got covered in fingerpaint or something, I'd RATHER she get a bath than be sent home that way!

i know i'd rather my kid got bathed if they were fingerpainting at my aunt's house, or my best friend's house, but would it be okay if i bathed your kid?  i mean, or would it be okay if ANY of the parents in her kindergarten class bathed her while she was at a birthday party?  i think that part is the part that's weird.   i don't have any problem with the age/gender thing.  who really cares.

[BigMommaJesca]

Quoting fabulosa:

i know i'd rather my kid got bathed if they were fingerpainting at my aunt's house, or my best friend's house, but would it be okay if i bathed your kid?  i mean, or would it be okay if ANY of the parents in her kindergarten class bathed her while she was at a birthday party?  i think that part is the part that's weird.   i don't have any problem with the age/gender thing.  who really cares.

Ok, yeah.  I totally see your point.  Not sure how I'd react, but I could understand people reacting negatively.

Wow...this post got a lot of hits FAST!

[AprilMay1313]

So I'll share my views since you were all kind enough to share yours. 

My 3 1/2 boy still showers with dad or his 2 year old sister, but not me.  I don't care but my husband said no way he is to old to shower with mom.  (We go swimming at the Y and it's me and two kids what am I going to do). I guess I'll leave my suit on next time. 

My daughter still showers with me, but not with dad. 

I'll seperate them when they express discomfort or to much interest. Right now it's about safety for me.  What do I do with my 2 year old when I'm trying to stay focused on my son in the tub.  It's just easier to throw her in with him.

I was on a swim team so showering naked with females is fine with me at any age. No big deal.

Thanks for your replies.

[bluesmomNC]

Congrats!   Good first post topic!


When my boys were little, I always bathed them together.  They are only a little over 15 months apart so I saw no sense in filling the tub twice.   By the time they were 6 & 5, they wanted to shower alone.

Now everybody showers on their own, except Liam.  He takes a bath.

I would feel kinda weird if somebody other than my family or really close friends gave Liam a bath.  My sister throws my nephew & Liam in the tub together, but not my niece.  The kids are all starting to get to be too big in my mind for "community tub".

This topic makes me laugh a little.......  When my son Shaun was three, he barged into the bathroom while I was getting dressed. All I had on was my bra & panties.    He was very distressed that I did not have a penis......   "But momma, how did you lose it?"