Do you guys find that people like you a lot more when they find out you're bi? If so, does it irritate you?
I was just talking to a friend of mine about wanting to go to a strip club for my birthday, and being bummed that my husband wouldn't go with me, etc, and he said "You're such a fun person." Any time it comes up, he always makes a reference to how cool I am. I finally asked him if he ACTUALLY thinks I'm cool, or if it's just because I'm bi. (I'd never actually TOLD him I was bi, but Charlize Theron has come up in conversation before.) He said "It doesn't matter. If you're cool, you're cool."
Hmph. I'd rather be liked for me, not my sexuality.
On the other hand, do you find that you're liked LESS because of it? I understand that there are some girls who SAY they're bi, just because they know the men think it's hot, so sometimes, when I hear a girl say she's bi, I think "Uh-huh, I BET you are." Usually, this is when said girl happens to be hitting on my husband. As such, "I'm bi" has left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. (Bad enough that it took me some time to be able to say it myself, and even then, I don't, often.)
hmmm...interesting. I'm not bi or lesbian, but I would think that you have a certain advantage...as it is every man's greatest fantasy to be with 2 women...or to watch two women...and i am sure that once he knows that is probably where his mind wanders...because lets face it that is what men think about most of the time...that is why they are so disabled in their logic and reason they just don't get it...they can't see beyond physical reality sometimes...
but really a guy who really likes you likes you for who you are regardless...it's just knowing if they are geniune is the tricky part, and that goes with any guy i am sure...
maybe women feel they need to lie about their sexuality to attract men, (not you) I mean others maybe it is so they can get their man in check...i don't know...I don't see a reason to lie about this...i don't think you should ignore that part of you...it's all good. some women i think are just jealous of other women, be them lesbian, bi or straight...they pose a threat...just like when that woman you mentioned was hitting on your hubby...
once you get a guy to get past his fantasies and actually be more in touch with his emotions, then that is when you know if he really loves you...for you. I think that if a man doesn't love you for who you are, for your personality then really he isn't worth it. No one should be with someone that wants to change you, just like you shouldn't be with someone to change them. You gotta love the person you are with for all their flaws and imperfections that is when their good qualities and good nature shine through<---this of course is only true if the guy isn't doing anything to hurt you or himself in any way...but to be loved for who you are is the greatest feeling...if you love yourself others will recognize it, see your beautiful personality shine through and that is what will get you noticed.
my guy friend asked me if i would ever be with a woman, he would like to see...i told him that probably not because it would be uncomfortable as that is not what i like, so I told him would he want to be with another guy...and he understood...lol
well i guess i didn't answer your question cuz you see i'm not really attracted to women in that way...so...let's see if others can help. take care.
Quoting dezandry:
it is every man's greatest fantasy to be with 2 women...or to watch two women...and i am sure that once he knows that is probably where his mind wanders...because lets face it that is what men think about most of the time...that is why they are so disabled in their logic and reason they just don't get it...they can't see beyond physical reality sometimes...
This always gets me. It's like "Bi chicks are hot because I've always wanted to be with 2 chicks at once." Um...as IF I would ever let you be with me and another girl?
I tried a threesome once. The results were disastrous. If my husband died or something, and I ended up with a woman, our sex would be between us, not some sideshow for some horny guy.
lol ya that's why they have videos and magazines with girl on girl porn, for them, because they will never have anyone but themselves! lol...
Quoting BigMommaJesca:
Quoting dezandry:
it is every man's greatest fantasy to be with 2 women...or to watch two women...and i am sure that once he knows that is probably where his mind wanders...because lets face it that is what men think about most of the time...that is why they are so disabled in their logic and reason they just don't get it...they can't see beyond physical reality sometimes...
This always gets me. It's like "Bi chicks are hot because I've always wanted to be with 2 chicks at once." Um...as IF I would ever let you be with me and another girl?
I tried a threesome once. The results were disastrous. If my husband died or something, and I ended up with a woman, our sex would be between us, not some sideshow for some horny guy.
LOL You are Funny! yes 3 somes in general mess things up if you want a close relationship...
I am bi, but rarely ever say it. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It doesn't get me liked anymore because the few people that know, also know that..... I'll never be with my girlfriend when any guy is around. The second a man enters the room when two women are having sex, all the focus shifts to the guy's horny dick. Also it takes away the tender level of intimacy because suddenly, we feel like we are PERFORMING. So, my sexual relationship with my boyfriend stays him and I. My sexual relationship with my girlfriend stays her and I. I don't mix it up, because then I might get nervous or uncomfortable and not be able to cum. Now, why in the world would I do that?!
Those that know I'm bi are on a need to know basis; as in, not many people know. It's not something I really... share. Not for shame or anything, it's just that frankly, it's not anyone else's business.
Also, I have a very small circle of "real life" friends, and *ahem* it's not like I get out much...
No, people just naturally adore me because I am a very cool chick *snort, giggle*
Quoting CrystalRenee34:
Also it takes away the tender level of intimacy because suddenly, we feel like we are PERFORMING.
EXACTLY!!! Nail on the head!
lol see that is why, because a guy just wants to be the center of attention all the time...two girls at once paying attention to only him is like the greatest fantasy, LOL.
Quoting CrystalRenee34:
I am bi, but rarely ever say it. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It doesn't get me liked anymore because the few people that know, also know that..... I'll never be with my girlfriend when any guy is around. The second a man enters the room when two women are having sex, all the focus shifts to the guy's horny dick. Also it takes away the tender level of intimacy because suddenly, we feel like we are PERFORMING. So, my sexual relationship with my boyfriend stays him and I. My sexual relationship with my girlfriend stays her and I. I don't mix it up, because then I might get nervous or uncomfortable and not be able to cum. Now, why in the world would I do that?!
This brings up another topic for me.
So, guys think it's perfectly okay for two hot chicks to make out and mess around, why isn't okay for two gay guys or two lesbians? Double-standard much??
I'm bi. So what? When I told people this when I was younger, eyes would widen, hoping to get in on some action. Whatever. They need to go watch a video.
If you're going to insist on typing like an idiot, people are going to assume you are one.
My concept of sexual orientation is pretty theoretical business at it's core. Being in one kind of relationship or another shouldn't pigeonhole you into a particular exclusive orientation, even though it often seems to. Either way, I don't believe that someone ever has to act on sexual impulses to "own" a particular orientation. So, a woman who is open to the possibility of being in a loving relationship with either gender is bisexual whether she ever has a relationship with anyone or not. Obviously, I believe that we are born with our sexual orientations, so people are what they are even before they can put a label on it or act on it.
Diva G
Quoting DivaG:
Either way, I don't believe that someone ever has to act on sexual impulses to "own" a particular orientation.
I agree. I've been with a woman, but I was "bi" before that, too.
My concept of orientation is very fluid. (Where's the silly putty reply I made to fabulosa that one time??) I believe that there's a scale of sexuality. We'll picture it as blue on one end, red on the other, and varying degrees of purple in between. Those closer to the blue end are more attracted to men then women, and those who fall closer to the red end are more attracted to women then men. Those in the exact center are equally attracted to both. I believe VERY few people fall on one extreme or the other. Honestly, I'm not sure where I fall. I prefer female sex, but when it comes to a relationship, I prefer a man.
Most women will cop to being at least a little attracted to another woman at some point. I imagine men feel the same way, they just "can't" say it, in order to protect their masculinity. (Gag me.) I believe people with the "straight" label don't have to be on the extreme end...you can have a few stray feelings and still be straight. Here, let me see if I can draw it out.
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Straight | Bi | Gay
So straight and gay people can have a tinge of purple, because otherwise, I believe 90% of the population would have to be considered "bi."
Hm. Ever have those ideas that are freaking impossible to verbalize? This might be one. I'm going to go see if I can go find the other post where we talked about the same thing. Maybe I described it better then.
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Happy Mother's Day!
- BigMommaJesca
on Aug. 13, 2008 at 5:48 PM