Yesterday I had to take my lil girl out of our germ infested house. We went to the park, and it seems I always hit a bit of drama there. It just so happens there was a down syndrome teen and her grandma there. Of course I talk to them the minute I get there because everyone else there is so damn snobby!!!!Anyway...A group of girls literally ran away from this child everywhere she went. They had a ring leader who was an older girl and she directed the younger girls to do the same. SHE TRIED TO RECRUIT MY four year old to spy on the ds girl. My heart literally broke for this child as I watched this nonsense. I pulled my daughter out of the group, and it was sad for she had no clue what was going on she just wanted to play. Of course Grandma was used to this type of behavior and it really didn't phase her a bit, while I was disgusted!!! All I could do was say I was sorry to the Grandmother and offer a bit of friendship. REally I hated people yesterday..................
When do we start to show our kids all I mean ALL TYPES of diversity.........UGH......
It's ugly, isn't it?
All I have is that it starts at home. Unfortunately, that means that it will probably keep on happening for the foreseeable future because people are xenophobic by nature.
The good news is that being afraid of the unknown has a cure: curiosity. When we learn about something it isn't unknown anymore.
Quoting DivaG:
It's ugly, isn't it?
All I have is that it starts at home. Unfortunately, that means that it will probably keep on happening for the foreseeable future because people are xenophobic by nature.
The good news is that being afraid of the unknown has a cure: curiosity. When we learn about something it isn't unknown anymore.
My first thought to the bolded was "SURELY that girl's parents didn't teach her to point and laugh at handicapped kids..."
But then I thought about what you said about xenophobia. I've tried to work hard to teach my daughter that no matter what differences someone has on the outside, we're all the same on the inside. (True, this doesn't mesh with my "some people are bad, and you can't trust everyone" speech, but she hasn't made the connection yet. I can probably tie it together with "the differences on the inside can't be SEEN from the outside.)
Fortunately, I live in an area where this can come up often. The midget who works at WalMart, the one-legged guy at the company picnic, the kid at school with "funny eyes," not to mention the myriad of different races and cultures. They're all presenting opportunities to teach.
I guess, though, too many parents aren't taking advantage of those opportunities. I'm assuming that those other kids had parents out there...I can't believe they didn't stop them. So yeah, I see what you mean. How horrible. :-(
That truly is horrible. However, I don't believe that it all starts at home. Some times people are just afraid of the unknown. Many kids just want to be like other kids so if that means making fun of the one kid who doesn't exactly look like the other kids then that's what they'll do. I remember times in school when I joined in the crowd and made fun of another person cause "my friends" were, even though I knew if my dad knew I was doing that he would be irate. Of course some cases do involve the parents not doing their part, and that truly breaks my heart. I'm glad that you were there and were able to give your child that life lesson and help the girls grandmother. When I think of diversity I have to remind myself that sometimes what makes a person unique is that they dont consider or think of other peoples diffrences. Sometiems, intolerance is divers, at least for that person.
Hope that makes since, I'm not feeling to well and my heads kinda cloudy.
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My son has Asperger's (high functioning Autism), so he doesn't look different. it only takes a little bit of time for the other kids to notice he's different, though, and he has a really hard time keeping friends past 10 minutes. My heart breaks for him, because he sees and knows what's happening. He just doesn't know what to do about it yet. He can't make the social connections, because he can't understand the way NT people think. He's got one other friend, who is autistic, and that's the only friend he's been able to keep for long. My heart breaks for all of the kids who are different.
If I see inequality, I can't stand it. I've always been like that. In Junior High, I took PE with a Downs Syndrome girl named Christie. While the rest of the kids played sports, I took Christie running around the track and talked to her and played with her. It made her so happy (not to mention making the PE Teacher happy, too). I guess I've always been an outsider with a soft heart. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for it right now, so that actually made me feel good to remember. Cool.
Trina
Quoting Tilani:
My son has Asperger's (high functioning Autism), so he doesn't look different. it only takes a little bit of time for the other kids to notice he's different, though, and he has a really hard time keeping friends past 10 minutes. My heart breaks for him, because he sees and knows what's happening. He just doesn't know what to do about it yet. He can't make the social connections, because he can't understand the way NT people think. He's got one other friend, who is autistic, and that's the only friend he's been able to keep for long. My heart breaks for all of the kids who are different.
If I see inequality, I can't stand it. I've always been like that. In Junior High, I took PE with a Downs Syndrome girl named Christie. While the rest of the kids played sports, I took Christie running around the track and talked to her and played with her. It made her so happy (not to mention making the PE Teacher happy, too). I guess I've always been an outsider with a soft heart. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for it right now, so that actually made me feel good to remember. Cool.
Trina
Well you should be proud of yourself. Just think you son is and will destined for great things!! The children will soon accept him, but I can imagine how hard it is to watch. Just keep up the great work and surround him with understanding the best you can. He really will be doing great things as an adult because he has a great mommy as his support system!
My daughter is so awesome with that. She is nice to people with disabilities the same. Then, when we are alone, she'll ask me why he [she] is "like that." Then she asks, "Should I be even more nice to them because of their disability?" I reply, "No, you should treat everyone with the same amount of respect." She's great.
My son is 12 and he is autistic, he has no friends what so ever except for his brother 14 and sister 11. Other kids want nothing to do with him, they say he is weird and I have had a parent tell me, He is a danger to others. I told her she was stupid and she was one of those mothers who breeds hate. Yes he is a little different but he is still a child. It irritates me when kids run from him and he acts like it does not bother him but I know it has to. We have tried play dates and I take him out ever chance I get, even if its just to get gas for the lawn mower. So he has social skills but being autistic, sometimes his behaviors come out. It just pisses me off b/c sometimes people can be so stupid even if they are educated about it. I go so far as to put pamphlets in my purse about autism and when some person is treating him like he is stupid, I give them one and tell them not to judge until they know the problem. Shawn is Shawn, a boy who has hopes and dreams just like everyone else and when some people try and crush those dreams, I want to crush them. But I know in my heart I am doing the right thing by showing my son that he is normal and not to be afraid to be himself.
Oh,,,sorry. People are so clueless and cruel......makes me nuts!
Quoting tomboynothing:
My son is 12 and he is autistic, he has no friends what so ever except for his brother 14 and sister 11. Other kids want nothing to do with him, they say he is weird and I have had a parent tell me, He is a danger to others. I told her she was stupid and she was one of those mothers who breeds hate. Yes he is a little different but he is still a child. It irritates me when kids run from him and he acts like it does not bother him but I know it has to. We have tried play dates and I take him out ever chance I get, even if its just to get gas for the lawn mower. So he has social skills but being autistic, sometimes his behaviors come out. It just pisses me off b/c sometimes people can be so stupid even if they are educated about it. I go so far as to put pamphlets in my purse about autism and when some person is treating him like he is stupid, I give them one and tell them not to judge until they know the problem. Shawn is Shawn, a boy who has hopes and dreams just like everyone else and when some people try and crush those dreams, I want to crush them. But I know in my heart I am doing the right thing by showing my son that he is normal and not to be afraid to be himself.
Quoting LesHug:That truly is horrible. However, I don't believe that it all starts at home. Some times people are just afraid of the unknown. Many kids just want to be like other kids so if that means making fun of the one kid who doesn't exactly look like the other kids then that's what they'll do. I remember times in school when I joined in the crowd and made fun of another person cause "my friends" were, even though I knew if my dad knew I was doing that he would be irate. Of course some cases do involve the parents not doing their part, and that truly breaks my heart. I'm glad that you were there and were able to give your child that life lesson and help the girls grandmother. When I think of diversity I have to remind myself that sometimes what makes a person unique is that they dont consider or think of other peoples diffrences. Sometiems, intolerance is divers, at least for that person.
Hope that makes since, I'm not feeling to well and my heads kinda cloudy.
Feeling threatened by the unknown or unfamiliar is hardwired, but having violent reactions to those who are different from us is learned. In other words, how we deal with those who are different from us starts at home. On the up side, something else that can start at home is learning how to deal with uncertainty productively. That's what I meant when I said that curiosity is the cure.
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on Sep. 5, 2008 at 10:31 AM