How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married?
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? what about too late?
Who proposed and how?
The Hubs' and my relationship was a little rushed in the beginning. We met, started dating about a month later, 2 months after we started dating we got an apt (it was either that or lose him forever). 9 months after that we bought a condo. A few months after that we got engaged, and 9 months later we got married. So... about 2 years I think.
There is absolutely such a thing as too soon, but I wouldn't put a time on it. It's more of a motivational too soon. If marriage comes for the wrong reasons (spite, pregnancy, drunkenness, lust, etc) then it's premature. I also think it's good to be with someone at least a year first, but that's my personality, not anyone else's. It's never too late. Well, unless one of you is dead or already married.
We decided to get married the night we found out my bro and his wife were pregnant. A month later The Hubs officially proposed at a surprise engagement party he threw. 'Twas overwhelming but so sweet.
Quoting dezandry:
How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married?
About 10 or 11 months.
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? what about too late?
Absolutely, there's a too soon. But when that is depends on who you are. I believe that it's possible to meet someone and get married that day, and it not be too soon. I also believe that you can be together for years, and still not be ready to make that step.
As far as too late...I'm torn on that. I know that there are some people who say "I'm tired of waiting...marry me or quit wasting my time." I totally disagree with that, though. I think that unless BOTH parties are willing to take that step, it shouldn't be taken. If you're spending that time loving and being loved, then it isn't time wasted.
One of the biggest things I learned in Family Communication is that if you get married just because "you're supposed to," it's probably not going to last.
Who proposed and how?
I love this story. My husband had been for a MONTH saying things like "I want to do this or that for our anniversary...I just really, REALLY want it to be special." On one hand, I was excited, because I knew he was going to propose, but kind of disappointed, because I wanted it to be a surprise, and he was being SO OBVIOUS.
So then, we went to visit my friend and her husband in San Diego, and we were all out at this place called "Sunset Cliffs" to watch the sunset. My friends had said "I don't like this spot. We're going to find a better one." I thought they were crazy...the spot was perfect. After a while, when they'd been gone so long that I figured they were banging, Brandon said "Hey..." I looked at him, and he had a ring in his hand. "I love you so much. Will you marry me?" (or something like that.) It was SO unexpected; I got all misty when I said yes. He motioned my friends back over, and they came with champagne and cups, and it was all SO awesome.
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." Barack Obama
How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married?
We decided to get married less than a month after we met, and moved in together almost right away. Our first date was 7 days long. I flew back home, and he came to get me 3 weeks later, and we (me and the kids) moved in with him. We knew it was right, but we bided our time just to be sure. That and my mom was bugging us to get married, so we didn't until she stopped bugging us. Took us 2 years.
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? what about too late?
Of course it's all relative, but there is definitely too soon. Too many people aren't their authentic selves right away, and you have to spend a lot of time making sure that they're really themselves before you get married... ask me about my first 2 marriages!
Who proposed and how?
On Christmas day, we went out for a walk in the woods. My shoe came untied and we stopped at a small clearing. He offered to tie my shoe, but went down on one knee to do it, and I got really suspicious, especially with the way he was looking at me! He proposed right there, and I pushed him over, then agreed. I cried all the way back to the house. That is the clearing we're building our new home in, since his parents gave us the 6 acres back where it sits. I'm going to plant a red rosebush in that spot, because he gave me a dozen red roses the day we met.
Ah ha..............well I knew my honey for a few years as friends. We became close friends, instantly and well within a month we basically "committed" to each other. We bought a place together within a few months. Technically she proposed to me several times but I always kinda put it off due to the fact it really wasn't legal in NY. And there was the little issue of my divorce becoming final which took a hundred years to complete. We ran off to Vermont and had a civil union done three years later on the lake-- in the fall. It was the most beautiful day ever. We are now approaching our "five" year "technically, but not legal marriage" anniversary and our nine year together anniversary. I know confusing. Hopefully in our lifetime it will become legal in the state of NC!!!
I guess at the time I was scared of what the future held for us. I was scared of how sure she was and that she wanted to take on a person like me! I guess, when you know you JUST know. I just knew she was the person I was destined to be with. And thankfully my instincts were correct. I have truly found my soul mate. :)
Quoting ChrisandLiz:I guess at the time I was scared of what the future held for us. I was scared of how sure she was and that she wanted to take on a person like me! I guess, when you know you JUST know. I just knew she was the person I was destined to be with. And thankfully my instincts were correct. I have truly found my soul mate. :)
Silly girl...anyone would be lucky to have a girl like you!
"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." Barack Obama
Quoting dezandry:How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married?
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? what about too late?
Who proposed and how?
My husband and I met in September 2003, while we were stationed on the same deployed ship. We didn't start dating until February 2004. We were engaged late April 2004 and married a year later. We lived together for a year to be sure of things.
I believe there is such a thing as too soon (between 18 and 21) as I feel that, when kids are that young, they don't know exactly what they want and they have yet to experience the world. Live life for yourself for awhile before getting married. I don't believe it's ever too late to get married.
Hubby proposed four days after his birthday with my too-big mood ring before we played a game of strip poker with another couple we knew.
I met my husband when I was in High school. He proposed to me on our one year anniversary, right after I turned 18. I came to where he was living at the time, and he had candles all over the place (it was dark other than that) and we dancedand it was so sweet. I was in total shock when he proposed because I didn' think he was the type to ever want to get married. (Plus we had only been dating a year and I was still so young so I wasn't trying to push anything on him.)
We opted for a long engagement rather than to rush out and get married, (like 5 years.) We were married on 2006, three years later, because our landlady (my MIL) didn't like us "fornicating" in "her" house, and a week after we moved into the place upstairs from her, she said, "you either have to get married, or you have get out TONIGHT!" (BTW, she kicked us out about 8 months later because she was selling the property. Of course at the time all she told us was, "I don't have to have a reason, but you have to get out.")
I do think there is a such thing as getting married "too soon," but I don't really believe in "too late," unless you're not with the person anymore. If you meet someone and are married a month later, that would be an example of "too soon." Other than that though, I feel that the right time is when it feels right for the couple. For me, I liked the idea of waiting 5 years, but I felt we were doing it too soon because of the circumstances. My aunt was with her bf for over 20 years, and they got married when they bought a house together, because that's what timing worked for them.
We've been together now for over 7 years, and married for going on 3.
Quoting dezandry:
How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married?
I met Denny on 10-4-1985 we got married 11-27-1985 . A few weeks after we met we got an apartment & were together every day until he died.
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? Nope it worked for us for 23 years
what about too late? This I am clueless on LOL
Who proposed and how?
Not really a proposal. He wanted to go on a road trip to meet my aunt in west virginia. she was a justice of the peace back then. we weren't sure if you needed a license in that state to get married or not. he told me that he wanted my aunt to marry us when we got there. it wasn't until we got to her house that we found out that you did indeed need a license. if we had gone on to maryland we could have been married 2 weeks after we met.
he did sneak away with my cousin to get the dress he wanted me to wear when we did elope a few weeks alter. i still have that dress.
Denny 1959-2008 Heart & Liver donor 
How long were you with your SO before you decided to get married? We met in college and were together 6 1/2 years before we got married. This year we're celebrating 20 years of togetherness.
Do you think there is a thing as too soon? what about too late? Too soon, yes. For myself, I know that I couldn't keep track of myself in my early 20s, much less be in a marriage. But certainly, there are exceptions. However, too soon, never. One always hears how people get married too soon but there's never comment about it being too late.
Who proposed and how? My husband proposed to me in a cove, by the sea, at sunset. I couldn't say no. :) Actually, it was at the end of a really horrendous day. Incidentally, the first time he asked me to marry him, I said no. But asked him to ask me again another time. And he did.
Happy Mother's Day!
- dezandry
on Oct. 2, 2008 at 5:04 PM