since you asked

[justjacki]

Oh no, Jacki, what a horrible story...do you know why his family acts that way? 

when i met denny 23 years ago we met in a bar. we got an apartment 4 weeks later then 2 weeks after that we eloped. his mom hated me from day one. he was 25 when we met, me 19. i am affectionately known as the bar whore. she grabbed me by the arm the night we were moving out telling me she was never going to let him marry me. 1 week after we were married his mom had given our unlisted phone number to an ex girlfriend & had the bitch call. i thought it was one og his sisters , i had only met 2 of the 4 so i let him talk to her then when i heard him say i'm married now. i asked who it was & ripped her a new one. then i called his mom & told her that was unacceptable & to never do that again.

 Were they just in shock, or did they genuinely not care?

i think a little of both. i have been talking to his mom a little more . i made the first move on his birthday & went over to talk for awhile. i asked her if we were still considered family since he was gone & she told me of course. we'll see how this pans out. i think they were also angry that he really never told them his wishes. but they weren't the ones who talked everynight in bed. we were. he always said he wanted to be cremated then put in with the cat littler. when i opened the box after he came home , he looked like cat litter. my heart sank.

Why did you have to buy two trailers?  

one is a 2 bedroom for my 17 year old daughter mckenna & my 16 year old son harley. my almost 21 year old sami & her boyfriend live next door in a one bedroom trailer. i sleep on the sofa where he died . i feel closer to him there. i haven't slept in our bed since july. i can't . the landlord kicked us out of a huge 4 bedroom home less than 30 days after he died, telling me i couldn't afford the rent. hell i had a down payment ready to buy the place but after that i told them to fuck off. now i have no house payments & i can do what i want to my trailers.

You were married for a long time...were you very happy together?

we were so very happy. there wasn't a day we weren't apart. he spoiled me. he would get up with me at 3:30 am when he didn't have to be up until 6 am just to make sure i made it to work. if it was bad out he took me. we were always holding hands, kissing, touching , laughing together. thats why i stayed with him until they took him from me forever. he'd send me flowers to work out of the blue, call me 1000 times a day. i got really sick in 06 . my organs started to shut down. he carried me into the er screaming at the doctors to help me. he satyed in the icu with me until i regaind conciuosness, after that he went out & got cell phones so he could make sure he could keep in touch with me 24/7. in pictures & vidoes i've been looking at lately, i can see us holding hands, my mom or the kids telling us to get a room, acting like newlyweds even after so long together.

that's why i believe we've been together in pst lives. we clicked so weel. we would go places neither of us had been to before but we both felt like we had been there at some time. he used to joke it was good to be the king. he liked to think he was an egyptian pharoh & i was one of his concubines, not the queen just his sex slave. LOL. his urn has anubis as the top & heiroglyphs with eygyptian art on it. befitting of my king.

Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but you said you like to talk about him, so I'm taking you at your word.

not a problem, like i said an open book.

Actually...would you mind pasting this story into a new thread, so we can talk about it exclusively?  I'm sure some of the other girls would want to talk to you, too.  If you do, I'll move these questions over there, so you can answer them there.

[ivansmom07]

WOW.  I'm teary eyed and smiling at the same time.

Jacki, what you guys had (have) is beautiful! No wonder you enjoy talking about him and your relationship.

I hope to continue working towards this with my hubby.

I'm so glad to have the opportunity to actually get to know you, other than the journals section!

[JoyeAustin]

Thank you for sharing with us, Jacki.

[katiekate]

Your story put tears in my eyes.

I am SO sorry for your loss. Truly sorry. I know that there isn't anything I can say to make you feel better...but my heart breaks for you.

I also want to tell you how grateful I am for people like Denny who choose to donate their organs. My dad is here today because somebody was generous enough to donate a liver. It was something that so bittersweet to go through for us. We were so happy that my dad was given life, but we knew that it had come from the loss of another life. We are eternally grateful for the family who carried out the donors wishes.

After my dad received his new liver, both my SO and I edited our wills to make sure that we can repay somebody else with life if something were to happen to us. I urge others to do the same. Saving a life is an amazing thing.

Again, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. And you are an angel for carrying out Denny's wishes. Thank you for sharing your story...even though you made me cry =P

[Guinhyvar]

Aw, man. I wish that there was something I could say other than I'm sorry for your loss. Words seem so inadequate. I am so very sorry your husband passed away. I can't imagine how that is...

Your story made me smile and made me sad at the same time. I look over at my own husband and cannot imagine him gone. It just doesn't... compute. I do understand loss of one loved deeply (my mom passed away) but I cannot imagine the gaping hole left by your life partner when they die. I am very moved by your story. I am very sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing, Jacki.

[BigMommaJesca]

Thanks, Jacki.  I wanted the girls to be able to offer you their support, but I'm not sure everyone reads the other thread much anymore (I keep it up because I read it!), and I'm glad you posted here, so they could benefit from your story and offer support.

For those who have had living wills made...do you remember roughly how much that costs to get done?  I really need to go with my husband to get ours done.  I don't trust him to carry out my wishes, and I'm hoping that if I have it on a piece of paper, maybe he could be overridden.

[Rachael]

Quoting BigMommaJesca:

Thanks, Jacki.  I wanted the girls to be able to offer you their support, but I'm not sure everyone reads the other thread much anymore (I keep it up because I read it!), and I'm glad you posted here, so they could benefit from your story and offer support.

For those who have had living wills made...do you remember roughly how much that costs to get done?  I really need to go with my husband to get ours done.  I don't trust him to carry out my wishes, and I'm hoping that if I have it on a piece of paper, maybe he could be overridden.

I actually don' think that even if it is in a will that he cannot change the outcome.  I belive that there is a signature required and it would be his.  If he does not sign then there is nothing that can be done.  I am almost positive of this.  I have been wrong a couple times in my life LOL...

[BigMommaJesca]

Quoting Rachael:

I actually don' think that even if it is in a will that he cannot change the outcome.  I belive that there is a signature required and it would be his.  If he does not sign then there is nothing that can be done.  I am almost positive of this.  I have been wrong a couple times in my life LOL...

I was afraid of that.  I'll just have to threaten to haunt him forever if he doesn't.

Psh.  He'd probably like that.

[justjacki]

Quoting BigMommaJesca:

 

For those who have had living wills made...do you remember roughly how much that costs to get done? 

usually a living will is done before a major surgery at the hospital. denny had one, i have one. the hospital gives the the paperework to fill out & all you need is to have it signed, witnessed, & notorized.

a living will states that you don't want to be kept on life support to be kept alive unless your an organ donor. they are binding.

like i said MAKE SURE all family members know your wishes so you don't have to go thru the hell i went thru with his parents.

only a spouse or your kids ( of legal age) have final say, i also found out if your divorced & not remarried that your first spouse has the right to say what can be done unless you specify in a will , living will or court document that you have someone as a power of attorney listed.