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Gotta have friends...

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 1:17 AM
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How many good friends does your son have??  My son is having a tough time finding good friends to play with. The ones he has played with either are not nice to him, or get him in trouble.  One of these friends lives diagonally across the street, so my son sees him going to another kid's house down the street and this is hard for him to see.  Then the kid down the street has a foul mouth (says bad language, etc.) and hits kids, etc.  I sometimes wonder if Im creating a stigma about my son by not allowing him to play with these boys.  I want him to have friends but I want him to have GOOD friends...know what I mean?  So Im trying to make playdates with some of the nice kids that I know from his class.  One kid from his class kept getting him in trouble at school by starting a wresting match.... this is not typical of my son.

Anyone else ever have this kind of trouble? Sometimes I feel at a loss at what to do...and like Im taking his friends away, etc.


by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 1:17 AM
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by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 1:43 AM

You it is funny you ask this....I think it may be the age....

I have noticed that some of my son's friends are rather rude or mean to him...I would have to say he has two friends that act that way...

Now he and I have talked about it and I have told him he doesn't have to be friends with anyone that treats him like that and makes him feel bad.  And he has actually ended a couple friendships on his own.

I have noticed that alot of these boys that are rude don't seem to have as much parental supervision as the 2 friends that nice...

Of course I don't now how my son acts when he is with his friends and I know he is not a complete innocent...but I really don't think he has said some of the things that these boys have said..

But as far as the boys that are using foul language and hitting I would go talk to the parents...saying mean things is one thing but if they are getting physical that is different..

Bryan's High School Sweetheart in love (for 15 years)  

Mommy to Asiateen girl and Roman american football

and to twin girls Scarlett and Autumn twin girlswho went to Heaven 6/11/09

Tummy Trouble???

by on Jul. 10, 2009 at 9:57 AM

  I consider myself a christian, so yes all the time.  I have an eight yr old girl though. She doesn't have many good friends and  concerning the good ones that she does have she'd rather play with the not so good ones.  I let her play with her play with those friends but only under my supervision.  She hates it, i don't think she is capable of understanding that i am just trying to look out for her.  It is hard for a good moraled person to find good friends these days whether you are an adult or a child.

girl on a swing

by on Jul. 13, 2009 at 12:18 PM

This is going to sound sad but my 7 1/2 year old really doesn't have any close friends..He did have a good friend that goes to school with him but he was always being mean and bossy to my son,so i stopped him from having playdates at our house...The only time my son is really around kids his age is in school , when he plays sports outside of school,somtimes at the playground and if i enroll him in some kind of activity...He is kinda of shy and he seems to have a hard time making friends..

We are trying to raise our son with morals and values and sadly i am seeing that not many children are being raised the same way,so i feel that my son is better off being by himself rather than being with a bunch of rude,mean,bossy and foul mouthed kids..

"Waste no time debating what a good person should be. Be one."(Marcus Aurelius)
by on Jul. 13, 2009 at 3:27 PM

Oh yeah...this is the time/ age where being a good friend and learning what a friend should be is being "learned". While I do think parents should help thier child to be selective in friends they also have to teach them to be one.

We have a few "approved" friends that my son can go play with at thier house. For those who are not approved due to behavior, mouth, or fair play they must play at my house where I can see and set the rules. If they dis-obey my rules using the 3 strikes your out method - then they can't come play for a whole month. One boy decided it was not worth coming to my house. (Which I was glad).

For my son I think if I start telling him he "CAN'T" play with so and so he will anyhow and get in more trouble.

by on Jul. 21, 2009 at 10:28 PM

now that i think about it my daughter does not have any good friend either it has to be the age im beging to think

by on Jul. 22, 2009 at 1:36 PM

My son has his cousin who is 1 1/2 yr older and also his friends from karate class. Then there are my friends' kids who r near the same age. ALL of them have a hard time cooperating as a team. Maybe it is the age.

by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 11:44 PM

MY son had the same problem..He was even getting into trouble for sticking up for himself.  He lost 4 jackets last year to kids bullying him and the teacher wouldnt take responibility for it.  I told him to stay away from those kids.  He was trying so hard to be accepted he thought they did it because they liked him.  After long talks he has now learned to better select his friends and is doing better.  He actually started getting better grades and got  some awards.  He now has sports friends and neighbor friends and seems happy with that for now.

by on Jul. 30, 2009 at 6:42 AM

I find that it is sometimes good to speak to the teacher to find out who is a suitable match for your child, and of course if they like each other.  Then pick up the phone and arange a play date with that child. If you go out of your way to accommodate the children the mother of the other child will encourage the friendship, allowing the children to build a strong friendship.

by on Jul. 31, 2009 at 11:53 AM

My son doesn't hang out with the kids from school because none of them live near us.  He has one good friend that lives 3 houses down (he goes to a different school and is on a completely different schedule then us...he's in school right now).  They've been friends since they were 5 and best friends since they were 6 (his friend is about 3 months older but a grade higher then him).

Other then him he only really ever played with his sisters and their friends but he's started to make friends with the boy down the street.  He's a year and a half older then my son but seems like a nice boy.  His little sister is friends with my 6yo daughter.  He comes over all the time and asks if Owen can ride bikes with him.

Mostly my kids just all play together.  We don't do "playdates".  Playing is done outside, up and down the street.  There is usually a pack of 6, 7, 8 kids with my 4 right in the middle.  They range in age from 2 (the little boy next door who is actually pretty mean and I had to escort him into his yard the other day after he hit my 3yo for no reason) up to age 12 with most of the kids between 6 and 9.  They are both boys and girls and they all ride bikes and scooters and play fine together.

Meagan 6.28.00         Owen 10.1.01        Brenna 11.8.02       Nora 4.5.06

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