My Testimony

I was severely sexually, physically, and verbally abused by my step father growing up. My mother worked two jobs and was never home. I had to become a mother to myself and three younger siblings at the age of 9. My step father raped me from the time I was 15 until I was 18 when I moved out and lived in my car. I was addicted to alcohol and pills by the time I was 16 years old, attempted suicide 3 times by the age of 17, and was diagnosed manic-depressive. After I moved out, I was living in my car while working a full time job and going to college. I met a man in college who let me live with him as long as I had sex with him. I agreed out of complete desperation. While living with him, I ran into my step mother one day who was married to my real father and she asked me where I was staying. I told her that I was living with my boyfriend and she invited me to come live with her and my father. She witnessed to me and shared with me her testimony about how she was sexually abused by her real father and was addicted to drugs and became very promiscuous as a teenager. I saw the joy that she had and didn't understand how she could seem so happy with the life she had had. She invited me to church and I went. I came to want what she had and she told me about the love of Jesus and how He can heal and save me from the eternal flames of hell. One day as I sat in church with her, I felt the tugging in my heart so deeply that I just couldn't contain my tears. The pastor was preaching on the fact that God is our father and wants to have a relationship with us. How he will never hurt us or forsake us like man does, but make us new and give us eternal life. When he was talking about God being my father, I just balled, because I never felt like I had a father my whole life. I just wanted to be His daughter! I just wanted to call on Him and say," Daddy God, I need You!" My step mother prayed with me and my life has never been the same since!! I was saved when I was 19 years old and  that very day, God delivered me from pills, alcohol, manic-depression, and generational bondages! I was also told that I would never bare children due to the damage from the sexual abuse. I never took any kind of fertility drugs and my husband and I weren't even trying to conceive, but we now have a beautiful 18 month old baby girl and one on the way!! According to the doctors, I should be on medication for depression and I should be infertile. FACT IS, DOCTORS DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF GOD!!!! I know that this is long, but ladies I want to tell you that God has a plan for suffering! I never understood it until Jesus came into my life. I should not even be living right now, but I am here by the grace of God! There is so much that God has done beyond what I've even written. Forgiveness he instilled and wounds that Healed. I know that we've all faced trials, but I encourage you just to sit back  each day and think of all the things in your life that God delivered you from and all the things He kept you from suffering. I know that I could have ended up on a street corner somewhere, selling my body and addicted to drugs. But God had a better plan. When you find yourself in a difficult situation, just stop and remember, GOD HAS A BETTER PLAN!