Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Family cause of depression.

Posted by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:38 AM
  • 2 Replies
  • 398 Total Views
I don't know what to do.  I am 25 and a mother of 4.  I am also adopted.  I have a younger sister who is their biological child.  She is a bitch.  She and my mom have caused me soooo much pain and they deny everything.  My sister has an unplanned pregnancy and everyone is so damn happy for her.  She has a BA in psy. but works in resturants.  Her roommates forced her out. (They didnt like her crap either) and her BF is a LOSER!  My mom is paying their bills.   All 4 of my kids were PLANNED and I got nothing but mean or bad remarks from my FAMILY!  Today she finds out what she is having and everyone is so excited.  No one cared what mine were.  I always went to appts. alone.  NO not her.  My mom begs to go to hers.  I wanted to have a happy pregnancy where everyone was happy for me but all four were miserable because of them.  My dad did not talk to me for almost 2 years the first time I got pregnant.  I was 18 but graduated highschool witch gave my sister even more ammo to use against me.  When I told her I was pregnant with my third she said some horrible things to me.  Like I had no right to bring another child into the world that I couldnt take care of.  My husband makes $70,000 a year.  I think we can swing it.  And she is still rubbing this in because she knows everyone is happy for her.  She has been mean her whole life.  I want nothing to do with her.  Every time we are around eachother she crosses that line.  She got mad and left a resturant because my5mo old was LAUGHING to loud.  She caused a big scene and made me look like a horrible mother who couldnt control her kids.  I didnt even get to eat because I was too busy keeping my kid quiet so she would lay off me.  Here is my problem.  I love my family despite our past.  My sister has chosen to live 3 hours away while I still live in the same hood as my mom.  Every time she comes down she says mean or rude things to me.  I am =now on high levels of 4 anti depresents.  I have reached my breaking point.  Iwe were planning a 5 baby but I keep changing my mind because they will all fake being happy (they told me this)  Im torn.  I give up on the whole sister thing.  She obvesously doesnt care.  Should I stop trying or just be happy about it despite the pain?  She was never involved in and of my pregnacies but drags me in to hers.  A simple, sincere appologie will do.  They just have to see that they did wrong.  A married woman should not be affraid to tell her parents goot news.  As soon as the sister finds out she has to one up me.  If she cant one up me she attacts me and brings me down to my level.  Im starting to think I will never be happy.  Especially when my mom throws her a baby shower I never got.  Buys her the maternity clothes I had to beg for.  I have bokes of clothes to give her but why get used when you can get new from the bank of mommy.  Anyway how do I get over this.  Not only everyones facination with her but the total ignorance of me.  They did not ignore her while i was pregnant.  Hell, my mom took her to the beach several tin=mes.  They invited my daughter but not me.  Came up with every excuse for why I couldnt come.  Are they ashamed of me?  I don't know what to do.
by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-2):
photoaddict
by New Member on May. 7, 2007 at 10:57 AM
Oh, honey, I feel so bad for you.  I don't know what advice to give you.  I know that your family is your family and that no matter how hard you try, this will still hurt you.  Having another baby obviously is going to have to be a decision between you and your husband.  I know that how your family treats you can cause your depression to worsen.  Do you ever have problems with post-partum depression?  If you do, I just wonder if you can handle this much stress and if it will be extremely bad with the next child? 
As for your sister; for now just be happy for her.  When she actually has the baby here and later on when she has more children, she (hopefully) won't be so judgemental of your children or mothering skills. Some of my family and friends that I used to be so envious of are now having the same problems that I have had.  What goes around, comes around.......sometimes it just takes awhile.  Concentrate on enjoying YOUR kids for now - they grow up fast. (My depression was untreated when my kids were young and I missed out on so much joy with them).  Now they are TEENS!!!!!!! You'll need anti-anxiety meds then!LOL!
sunshine06
by on May. 7, 2007 at 9:07 PM
Yea, Im on a few meds.  Its a day to day thing.  I just talked to my mom and she told my sister all kinds of stuff and she cried so I had to fix things.  Im happy for her I just hurt a lot too.  She(my sister) said she didnt remember anything she said to me.  My mom just gets in the way of things.  She shows no emotion.  Its hard to be happy when your mother isn't.  She gets things mixed up and the next thing you know she is the victim.  They are just complicated people.  Ive never met anyone like them.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)