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Swearing and such

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2007 at 4:01 PM
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(No one likes a little kid that swears, it somehow seems wrong.. But beyond that what is in the best intrest of a child developmentally, in the long term?)

So I know this might sound like a stupid topic but I wonder how other people feel... There are a lot of people in my life that swear or use profanities on a regular basis. I wonder if I should be talking to them about cleaning up their language around my child or if this is something that they should be exposed to. I've heard experts with both opinions. Their are people who believe that you should introduce your children to undesireable conduct so that you can use it as a negative example. Then there are people who say that if you expose your children to undesireable behavior they will mock it. I don't want to shelter my  daughter, but I don't want her to start cussing up and down the street either. I guess beyond swearing, this is also a general question about what we should and shouldn't expose our children to. Thoughts?

P.S. Who knows how to make HTML display in these posts or on profiles? I really want to add my ticker :-)
by on Aug. 28, 2007 at 4:01 PM
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kloesmommy
by Group Owner on Aug. 28, 2007 at 4:20 PM
Honestly I have a truckers mouth. I try to clean it up but there is just no way to eliminate all of my bad words... I personally think it is ok to cuss around a child as long as you teach them that there are grown up words and that kids are not allowed to say them. My stepson knows that he can say shoot and darn but that the rest of the words are grown up words. He understands it and we have never heard him say any bad words outside of what we have told him are ok.

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tolazytocare
by Member on Aug. 28, 2007 at 5:42 PM

Quoting kloesmommy:

Honestly I have a truckers mouth. I try to clean it up but there is just no way to eliminate all of my bad words... I personally think it is ok to cuss around a child as long as you teach them that there are grown up words and that kids are not allowed to say them. My stepson knows that he can say shoot and darn but that the rest of the words are grown up words. He understands it and we have never heard him say any bad words outside of what we have told him are ok.

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I've been in a punk band for a few years and so not only is my mouth as dirty as the ground I walk on, but so are all of my friend's. I appreciate the imputand it's sounds like it's working well with your step son (did you recently get married??). I also think you are probably right. I'm just afraid that she'll turn out like me... haha.
KayleesMom67
by on Aug. 29, 2007 at 8:51 AM
first off, if you want a ticker, you have to add it as a signature, and insert the link as a photo (if it doesn't make sense message me lol)
BBUUUTTT to give you my opinion, I think that you should try to keep as much as you can away, but you can never shield your child from everything. Just control what you can, and use the rest as a teaching tool. I can almost guarantee that at some point, whether you use them or not, your child will use a bad word lol. Even if you don't say them, when you go out in public they are said. I personally try not to cuss that much around my kid...but that doesn't always work out haha...we aren't perfect.

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kloesmommy
by Group Owner on Aug. 31, 2007 at 1:22 AM

Quoting tolazytocare:


Quoting kloesmommy:

Honestly I have a truckers mouth. I try to clean it up but there is just no way to eliminate all of my bad words... I personally think it is ok to cuss around a child as long as you teach them that there are grown up words and that kids are not allowed to say them. My stepson knows that he can say shoot and darn but that the rest of the words are grown up words. He understands it and we have never heard him say any bad words outside of what we have told him are ok.

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I've been in a punk band for a few years and so not only is my mouth as dirty as the ground I walk on, but so are all of my friend's. I appreciate the imputand it's sounds like it's working well with your step son (did you recently get married??). I also think you are probably right. I'm just afraid that she'll turn out like me... haha.
no not married yet as close as it comes though (joint accounts, joint cars, joint everything) We are just kinda comfortable in where we are, but he is my stepson because its easier than typing fiance's son. That and he knows I am his step-mommy because he wanted to call me mommy but we felt it important to inform him of who I was and why...so wherever we go he always says "Bre is my stepmommy and I am her stepson"


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LilMama313
by New Member on Aug. 31, 2007 at 11:50 AM
i AGREE, i HAVE A BAD MOUTH AS WELL AND TRY TO WATCH IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AROUND MY CHILDREN AND I HAVE TAUGHT MY SONS THAT IT IS WRONG TO USE SUCH LANGUAGE AT CERTAIN TIMES AND AS A CHILD AND I HAVE ALSO TOLD MY CHILDREN THAT IF I SAY A BAD WORD TO CORRECT ME AND THEY BOTH DO ESPECIALLY MY 3 YR OLD....SO AS LONG AS U TEACH THEM ABOUT 'BAD' WORDS
Quoting kloesmommy:

Honestly I have a truckers mouth. I try to clean it up but there is just no way to eliminate all of my bad words... I personally think it is ok to cuss around a child as long as you teach them that there are grown up words and that kids are not allowed to say them. My stepson knows that he can say shoot and darn but that the rest of the words are grown up words. He understands it and we have never heard him say any bad words outside of what we have told him are ok.

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tolazytocare
by Member on Sep. 1, 2007 at 10:39 AM
:-) Well I just wanted to congratulate you, either way I suppose it's in order. You've found the man your going to love and be with forever, and for that congrats! Let us all know when you tie the knot :-)
Quoting kloesmommy:


Quoting tolazytocare:


Quoting kloesmommy:

Honestly I have a truckers mouth. I try to clean it up but there is just no way to eliminate all of my bad words... I personally think it is ok to cuss around a child as long as you teach them that there are grown up words and that kids are not allowed to say them. My stepson knows that he can say shoot and darn but that the rest of the words are grown up words. He understands it and we have never heard him say any bad words outside of what we have told him are ok.

Lilypie Baby PicLilypie Baby Ticker

Glitter Text Generator

left   left

left

left

left

http://www.cafemom.com/group/controversialconversations Group Owner




I've been in a punk band for a few years and so not only is my mouth as dirty as the ground I walk on, but so are all of my friend's. I appreciate the imputand it's sounds like it's working well with your step son (did you recently get married??). I also think you are probably right. I'm just afraid that she'll turn out like me... haha.
no not married yet as close as it comes though (joint accounts, joint cars, joint everything) We are just kinda comfortable in where we are, but he is my stepson because its easier than typing fiance's son. That and he knows I am his step-mommy because he wanted to call me mommy but we felt it important to inform him of who I was and why...so wherever we go he always says "Bre is my stepmommy and I am her stepson"


Lilypie Baby PicLilypie Baby Ticker

Glitter Text Generator

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http://www.cafemom.com/group/controversialconversations Group Owner



seakla
by on Jun. 20, 2008 at 9:44 AM
To me the normal "bad words" don't offend me....they are meaningless fluff in a sentence like "um" and "er" or "okay"  They add emphasis.  Sure, we shouldn't use them all the time and there is a time and place for them.  Chidlren shoulnd't be exposed to them much until they are old enough to understand when and where to use them (hanging with your girls versus in a job interview for example) and that some people find them offensive.

But...more so than the usual list of swears, which i don't freak on if they use...I just remind them to find a better word for it (my girls are 9 and 11)..the words I don't tolerate, most people don't even think to teach kids as wrong words, and those are racial slurs.  I will not tolerate a racial or religious slur in my house at all, not by adults or kids.

Also...I teach my kids that if you stub your toe and it hurts really bad and you say *S!!* its okay.  But to call someone a *S!!*-head is wrong.  But, also calling someone a pencil head is wrong if you mean it in a bad way, even though pencil is not a swear word.

Any word or group of words is bad if used in a bad way.  Queer used to mean odd and Gay happy but they can be used as serious slurs on a person's gender and be very hurtful, when indeed they are not "bad words."

But, that's not to say that all normal words are bad if called to someone like the guys who go by nicknames of Curly or Red or I call my kids "monkey-butts" and they think its funny and call me "monkey-butt mom". 

But anytime a word is used in a hurtful manner, it is wrong.

muslimah
by on Jun. 20, 2008 at 11:32 AM
I don't think it is right or appropiate but personally, I am not offended by it when I hear others do it. I myself have been known to slip a time or two, lol.
 
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LoriaAnn
by on Jul. 6, 2008 at 4:13 PM
my son is 7, almost 8, and i actually had a conversation with him about this not too long ago....he knows what cuss words are and when he has a question as to the meaning or usage of one, he asks me about it....he understands that words are only bad if people use and percieve them as bad and that depending on the context it is either acceptable or not....i explained that kids shouldnt say these words because they dont yet understand when it's okay to use them and when it's not...but me, my boyfriend, and all our friends cuss around my son on a daily basis....i have NEVER heard him use any of these words (with the exception of when i allow him to ask a question, and he asks permission to say it first)...im sure he uses and occasional cuss word or two with friends to try and be cool, but i have never had any reports of him saying things at school, summer camp, etc. i think he has a good understanding that they are adult words, but hes no so sheltered that he is ignorant to their existence or meanings

i take this kind of approach with most things....i mean, i OBVIOUSLY dont allow my son to watch porn, but he has waled in on me and his father in the past and me and my boyfriend more recently (we live together).....i try not to freak out and have explained to him that its something grown ups do in private...ive left it open for questions, but he never has any and seems happy with that answer

also, i drink around my son and smoke (yes, i know about second hand smoke, i dont do it in the house when he's at home, but i do it in front of him outside or in the car with the window down) i have explained to my son that my drinks are grown up drinks and that smoking is a choice you can make when you're an adult....he has informed me that he doesnt want to smoke when he grows up and i told him that is a very good choice...he asked me why i smoke and i told him it helps me chill out sometimes and that since my boyfriend smokes, if i smoke, he doesnt taste like ass when i kiss him

also, my son, at this age, understands adulthood to be the point at which you move out of your parents home and begin a family of your own

oh, and as i mentioned before, my son and i live with my boyfriend....and i live in the bible belt...so, while a lot of people my age do it, its very taboo....while we've never really had a conversation about it other than to ask my son if he was happy with his living arrangements, he doesnt even seem to question it

okay, im done now, i think......lol....this post is probably longer than the OP
starry_mom
by on Nov. 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM

I believe that kids should be exposed to some curssing, but the child shouldn't be around it all the time, if that makes sense

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