Children's Dad has BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, need advice!!
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost ten years and have three wonderful children. I had just recently decided that i needed to take the kids and move to another state b/c i feel that they have been through too much seeing their dad's and mom's relationship. I feel that my son needs counceling b/c he's the one that is old enough to know what is going on and i feel that he acts just like his dad in every way behavior wise and it scares me. My relationship has been to the point many times when i have feared for my life or his b/c of his unstability. I have told him for a long time that he needed help but he wouldn't do it, even though he thought that it was "just" depression. The other night however I told him that i couldn't keep putting the kids through this all the time and that we were going to move, he lost it and tried to hang himself out in the front yard. Luckily the rope wasn't knotted right and his mom and sister were there b/c his mom caught him from jumping off the picnic table. He was taken to a mental hospital for treatment and have just diagnosed him with Borderline Personality Disorder and he says that this discribes everything wrong in our relationship with him not trusting, not wanting affection, saying hateful things, saying that he wants me to die and that he just wants me to leave and that he then always begs me to stay. I have read the signs and symptoms and this does describe everything he does. What I am concerned about is the kids and him not staying with therapy and keeping on his medication and everything going back to the way it has been. He begs me not to abandon him, that i need to stay by his side and support him and be there for him so that he doesn't fall. What worries and scares me is that he will fall even is i am here and the kids will be there in the crossfire. I do feel like i am abandoning him and it is tearing me up inside, it's not an easy decision and one that I wish that I never had to make but I don't want my kids to keep experiencing these behaviors either. Does anyone please have any enlightening advice on this matter? I need to try and come to a conclusion as i was planning on leaving the 11th of this month. I pray that someone can share with me something that will help in my decision making. God Bless You ALL