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Please Help Me If You Can

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2009 at 8:22 PM
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I've finally decided to take the steps to get the divorce finalized with my husband. I haven't really ahd the money but now I don't care and I"m willing to sacrifice getting Mcdonalds at lunch for a few weeks. LOL.

Now here is the thing. Awhile back he got with this girl that had two children and one on the way. I had no problem with that. Soon they were arguing all the time and having issues with eachother. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable about her being around them. He moved in with her and her children. Thats fine too. Yes I admit I was a little jealous that he could just jump into whatever he wanted and got away with everything that he got away with and I was stuck at my parents house because I was struggling every week. He didn't pay child support and still doesn't.

Later they had some issues and he actually called the police on her because she threatened to come after me at work and his "girlfriend" in another town. She also threatened to go after his truck and smash it with a baseball bat... hmm.... There is a police report and everything on this now.

He broke up with her and he had my daughter from one woman to another. Always around different girls. I was getting aggitated. Then this last weekend he took her and I couldn't get ahold of him all day sunday and I am freaking out because I want to know where my daughter is. The night before when he picked her up he told me he had been laid off from his job and after thinking about it he looked pretty glassy eyes (pills). Sunday when I finally got ahold of him he told me that he stayed at yet another girls house and had his phone shut off so no one could bother him. That really bothered me. She is my daughter. I have a right to know what is going on. Then come to find out the next day his mom calls me and tells me that he is back with the girl that threatened to come after me at work... WHAT??? And he had been there all weekend and had lied to me about where she was. Also one of the girls I work with lives in the apartment complex that they now live in and my daughter darted out infront of her car and she almost hit her. And there were no adults around. Just two older kids.

Also he had written on his facebook how he was so messed up on alcohol and pills all weekend and how depressed he was and how he wanted his life to end (I printed all these out). I told his mom that until we went to court and I was forced to let him see her I wasn't going to. His mom agreed with me because he is mentally unstable.

If he gets to see her i want him to see her under supervision only, preferably at his moms house and him not be able to take her from that house. What can I do to make sure I get what I'm trying to get? I'm not doing this to be vindictive. If my child wasn't involved I could care less what he did for the rest of his life. But I'm scared for her safety. What can I do? Any advice that can help me out?



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by on Aug. 6, 2009 at 8:22 PM
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by New Member on Aug. 10, 2009 at 10:09 PM

Hi Destiny,

I understand your situation, I have a somewhat similar situation.  It is and can be frustrating at times, and you can feel lost and sometimes out of the loop.  Have you considered looking for a legal aid attorny in your area?  You can google legal aid(your state) and you will be able to local the legal aid office in your area.  I plan to do the same thing.  Also, as you are searching their site, view the Q&A topic.  I recently learned that you can gain legal custody of your child.  You may ask, what am I talking about.  Well, although we had the children, we are not the legal guardian over our children.  If you are able to contact a legal aid Rep. ask about gaining legal custody.  This will protect your child, should anything happens to you.  You will have the final say, as to what happens to your child.  In other words the state can step in and take over your childs life.  Please keep us posted. I hope this helps.


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by New Member on Dec. 8, 2009 at 5:59 PM

Depending on what state you live in there is a way that you can get full custody of your daughter and make him pay child support and have supervised visitation.  The state I live in is a mother state. the only way the father can get custody is if he can prove that the mother is unstable.

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