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I'm new here.....I survived PPD/PPOCD, and you can too! :)

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 10:23 PM
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Hi~
I'm new here, and thought I would introduce myself.  My name is Jennifer, and I have a fantastic 5 y/o daughter.  I used to belong to a posting group on ivillage.com, but it has changed so much, so I am glad I found you guys!  I am trying to conceive again, and feel confident this time things will be different. 

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was unable to take Zoloft because I had hyperemesis gradvidum (extreme morning sickness), and so my OCD really took hold.  After she was born, the intrusive thoughts hit me like a semi--it was a horrific, horrific, vile time, but I survived it, and now I'm on a mission to educate people about this horrible disorder that doesn't get the attention and/or conversation that it deserves.  In fact, I'm a psychiatric RN, and I had NEVER heard of it.  When I went through my ordeal, the Andrea Yates trial was going on, and I kept second-guessing myself "What if you really are psychotic??"  It's such a vicious game, esp. if you are alone. 

Since I'm new, I don't know if people have mentioned the book Brain Lock, by D.r Jeffrey Schwartz.  He's the director of the OCD program at UCLA, and I think of him as a personal hero of mine.  This book is incredibly reassuring and affirming.  REMEMBER....these are garbage thoughts your brain is producing....the very fact that you are experiencing anxiety PROVES that you wouldn't hurt your baby.  People who hurt their babies are psychotic or evil, and you aren't either of them....you have an over-active brain, and too much anxiety.  Another terrific book is Imp of the Mind

Anyways, I'm rambling, but I just wanted to say "hi," and introduce myself.  Remember, you're not alone...this happens much more than people admit or discuss....to keep it all in is poison to our mind and spirit.

Hugs to all,
Jennifer :)
by on May. 4, 2007 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Jesmare
by Group Owner on May. 6, 2007 at 6:51 AM
Hi! I emailed you since my response was lengthy. I am SO HAPPY that you have found this group. I know we'll all benefit from your experience and success! Thanks!
Mama-Cakes
by New Member on Jun. 1, 2007 at 12:23 AM
Thank you for your post. I wouldn't have joined the group without reading your post. It sounds like we suffered aroundt he same time--I, too, was terrified about that mother who killed all of her children in Texas. I was horrified...and scared to think that anyone could do that. I thought--what if I did that? And just the "what if" thoughts created so much fear and anxiety!

Anyhow-I put up a post telling my story. In brief--but it tells a lot. I think the biggest thing I need encouragement/reassurance on is taking medication. I am just not convinced that I need to--but then I know I should--but then I am scared to take it...etc. etc.

My quality of life these last few months has really diminished--but it is starting to pick back up again...but there still seems to be some blockage there. I am not sure whta it is--but I just do not feel like myself. I get scared. I am scared.

I hope joining this group will help me stay focused and not get caught up into these thoughts that race through my mind. I just want my life back and I want to feel normal again! My kids need me! 

Thank you again for your post! And thank you for allowing me to write this to you.
amelia91
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2007 at 5:22 AM
thanks for the information on the books and ocd.  I've had a return of my symptoms after my medication effexor xr stopped working.  Now I am on zoloft with a lower dose of effexor trying to regain the steps again.  I was essentially symptom free for 5 months.  My beautiful daughter is 10 months now.  Even my doctors were suprised that it returned, especially since I only have one child.  But I guess we learn new things every day.  I am starting yet another partial hospitalization program for OCD with cognitive behavior therapy.  Gotta go, baby girl is hungry. thanks for posting.
Jesmare
by Group Owner on Jan. 27, 2008 at 8:08 PM
Hi Jennifer,

Your original post still makes me feel so much better! My daughter is now one and I am having a bit of a spell w/ the OCD/intrusive thoughts. I wanted to see if you were active and if we could chat/email.

Jessica
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