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How do I explain

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 2:47 AM
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I have talked with my son about maybe having a baby for another mommy and daddy and at first he thought I was goign to give away sissy lol, but once I explained it would be another mommy and daddys baby and not his sister he seemed alright with it.  My concern is how my children will handle it later in life.  Are there any of you who have children that were young when you chose to do surrogacy and now are older and how are they handling it.  I am so afraid they will hate me for carrying another baby and not keeping it with us.  Is this a normal fear for someone starting out?  How do I explain to my daughter who is only 10 months right now?  I know as she gets older she will want to know.  I am more afraid of them handling things than anything.  I guess that is good lol.  They do come first but I really feel that if I can help someone then I want to. 
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 2:47 AM
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MomtoMandJ
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 1:27 PM
My surro had a 2 and a 4 yr. old and they were fine with it.  They liked coming to visit the 'babies that were in your tummy."

Ana 
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MsTexUSMC
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 5:24 PM
Your not the only one that has felt this way, in fact I actually answered this on another thread. Mykids were 7 and 2 at the time I delivered my first surro baby, I let them meet the parents all the time...they often went to appts with me, and in actuallity, they don't have any probelms with it now... the know I carried 2 babies, and they know they live with other mommas and daddys, You just have to be open about it with them, encourage them to ask questions...and my 2 girls were also at the hospital both times to see the babies and to see them go home with their mommy and daddy.

Hope it helps a little! BTW, my girls are 10 and 5 now...and were this age when I delivered this year. I just kept them in the loop of things.
WhirledPeace
by on Aug. 2, 2007 at 11:56 PM
Be honest with them.  Let them know it isn't your baby FROM THE BEGINNING.  My daughter turned 2 just over a week before I transferred the first time.  She gets it completely.  I explain the entire process in terms she can understand.  And if someone asks when "my" baby is due, I tell them my due date - but that it isn't mine - so that my daughter doesn't get confused.  She's even asked strangers who's baby they are having.
lisafdoula
by on Aug. 16, 2007 at 3:14 PM
My kids are 8, 5 and 3.  I was open and honest with them from the start.  They knew that my IM had a broken belly and that they would take the baby out of her (easiest way for me to explain it to them) and put it in me to grow and then it would go back to the IPs.  They call them their cousins and we will always be in their lives.  They've gotten to visit the babies a lot, and that's been good for them. 
pixiechic
by on Aug. 17, 2007 at 5:52 PM

Quote:

They knew that my IM had a broken belly and that they would take the baby out of her (easiest way for me to explain it to them) and put it in me to grow and then it would go back to the IPs.

I love that explanation for the younger ones.  Thanks for sharing that.  Simple and to the point. 

                        
~PixieChic~

Mom to FaeryFly (9), SharkBoy (7), and Princess (5)

                         

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