Ok so we are going to Disney in Feb., the week after Mardi Gras and Pres. Week. My best friend asked us if we would mind taking her 5 year old with us because he might never get another chance to go. We said that's fine as long as she pays for his trip, i.e. ticket, meal plan, and spending money. Our son is best friends with her son so we knew they would love the idea. Now all I have heard since she told her parents that he is coming to Disney World with us is that she shouldn't let him come with us, I quote her mother "They won't pay attention to him and he will wonder off and get lost." Now I have never not paid attention to any child, and let's face it my kids are still here after our last trip to WDW, but it still makes me upset. I have been nothing but nice to her family even though I can't stand her mom, and I think her mom has always had a problem with me, what I don't know. I am to the point where I just want to tell my friend look I would love to take your son but I can't take the verbal punishment from your parents anymore. Her mom doesn't trust me, her dad thinks my husband is an idiot. I don't know what to do anymore, it has only been 2 weeks since we decided to take him with us and I am already wanting to change my mind not because of her son but because of her parents!!! Not to mention that her husband and I have a very strong love-hate relationship, he is a total D%$@, and she hasn't told him about the trip yet. I just need some advice I guess, what would you guys do in my situation??????
UPDATE: I talked to my friend the other day and she said that she told her husband, he flat out said NO, he doesn't want Mikey to go that many states away without one of his parents there with him!! So DH and I were fine with that means we didn't have to be the bad guys and tell him that he's not going to Disney. We had decided the day that my DH came home that Mikey wasn't going with us, WAY too many concerns and reservations about Mikey coming with us, the main one for us was that since she hadn't told her hubby yet that we felt like we were being set up to take a bad fall, all he would have had to do was call the cops and said that we had taken him without parental consent and guess what we are in jail for kidnapping!!! So we had already made up our minds when she said that Mike, her husband, told her that he wasn't going to let him go. Thank you all for your advice, it all helped to form our own decision, thankfully we didn't have to be the bad guys in all of this.
Hi, first.. take a break and breathe. I read your post and had so many thoughts.. and I feel for you. I know you would like to do something positive for the child.. but I think this is going to take over your entire vacation and become a nightmare.
I feel bad even typing that.. But when you started with the opinions of her family, the husband etc.. I just personally think its alot to take on and deal with. I also have an issue with the fact she didnt tell her husband as of yet about the trip. I come from a "have to walk on eggshells family" and can totally understand.
You have to remember that when you decided to go.. it was to have fun, relax and enjoy your family and have your memories and moments. That has to come first.
I went on a vacation in Sept with other folks we knew to WDW for 10 days.. I had hoped to of written a great trip report and have pics to post in here. I didnt do that..as I came home a complete mess. I couldnt even talk about my trip for atleast a month without getting upset because the entire trip was overshadowed by nonsense from the other folks with us.
I mention that because.sitting here typing.. I can see you now with the child. You guys are having fun.. but the parents keep calling you every five minutes, people are having arguments back home and contacting you. I just think it will become a can of worms that will completely take over your entire vacation and you will not get to enjoy all those things you were looking forward too.
Maybe in the future, if he is able to go and her family/husband arent in the negative mix in regards to the decision.. I'd say go for it.. and have fun. BUt I wouldnt want you to have put all that time, energy and money out.. to enjoy yourself and you endure nothing but aggrevation and grief.. that will spill into you and hubby's time.
I know these are my two cents.. and no one has to agree with me. But I have had this experience myself.. and would not wish it on someone else. I usually don't post my personal opinion.. but I felt strongly about this topic.
Whatever decision you make.. I hope you have a great time when you do go. Good Luck..I will be thinking of you.
Thank you for your advice. I have never brought someone else's child to WDW before, and what you said is pretty much what I am scared will happen if we do take him to WDW. I talked to my hubby today since his boat came back into port, he works offshore on a boat, and I told him about what was going on and he got pretty heated about it too. He comes from the school of "if you have a problem with me tell me to my face." And I found out from my friend the reason she doesn't want to tell her husband about the trip is because he want's to take a family vacation next month to like Colorado and she knows that if she tells him then he won't take her to Colorado, it seems pretty selfish to me. As it stands she isn't giving her son any "Santa" presents so he can go to WDW. They are in a really crappy money situation and she is more concerned about taking vacations than paying what needs to get paid. Not to mention that she is moving forward with a divorce from her husband behind his back, so he thinks everything is fine even though it is in ruins!! All we are trying to do is give this kid something wonderful and magical, something he may never get to experience otherwise, and all we are getting back is negativity.
As for her parents, we are pretty sure that their problem is that they wanted to be there for his 1st trip to WDW, they asked his mom if they could take him when he was 2 and she said no because he was too young and she wanted to be there for his 1st trip. Now they are mad because she asked us to take him when she wouldn't let them take him. The thing is that they don't have the money to take him any more than she does!! So they are taking it out on both her and us.
My hubby said today he is at the point that if he hears one more time that her parents are talking crap about us taking him then he is just going to tell my friend he's sorry but he's not going to take her son because of the effect it is having on me, I am an extremely soft hearted person and this whole thing is just getting the best of me. We said yes to taking him because we know he won't get a chance otherwise, his dad is a screw up, he spends all of their money on stupid junk and then they don't have enough to pay bills, and well I love my friend dearly but she is a terrible money manager, and she does just as much damage monitarily speaking as her hubby does!!! I just don't know anymore!!!!
First off I agree with Littlefoots...its hard to go on a vacation with other people. We go to local parks with friends of ours because we love them but let me just say we leave them alot to go our own ways. They argue about going on rides, they argue about where to eat, ect. We are a family that shops little, and plays harder. Meals are usually anything that can be eaten while you walk....LOL we do not waste time...
That said taking a 5 year old along with your family may not be easy. Kids and parents are known to have some kind of meltdown in Disney...either because of the walking, the waiting for rides, the gimmes, you get it? It would be different if its family like a nephew, but how do you discipline a friends kid..even a good friend. I no longer talk to my neighbor because I was fine with her putting my kids in time out but one time her kid was put in it at my house the standards flip. Her kid must have been provoked...blah blah....
I feel bad for you, I do. You are in a bad place. But honestly would it be worth your own family fighting over this and getting stressed?
definatly wait till they are older... let the kids have some time to mature and really be able to experience the trip together... at the age of 5 they still need constant care... watching, making sure they are ok in a pool... riding with someone on a ride... etc... so, I would definalty say to leave the friend behind on this trip... and it sounds like the parents don't really want him to go anyhow...
Thank you for all of your advice you have all pretty much hit the nail on the head. It's not that my best friend doesn't want him to go, she does, but a little too badly, if you get my meaning. I consider this little boy my own nephew, they are like family to us, I really do but there are so many concerns with taking him. He is a whiny child, and I do mean WHINY. He cries at the smallest of things, even if you just tell him not to do something. I am very protective of my kids in WDW, my son holds my hand at all times, daughter stays in the stroller. This kid has never really been to a place where you HAVE to stay with an adult at all times and I don't know how to get him to understand that he has to stay by us and hold hands at all times. The other thing that bothers me is that he is not a physical child, he doesn't like to play outside, run anything like that, and both of my kids are very physical, my son doesn't have a lot of problem walking around WDW. I know that this kid will have a lot of problem walking that much. He complains that it is too far for him to have to walk to school in the morning with him mom, and it's only across a parking lot and a field, she actually had to carry him home on day because he said "it's too far I am so exhausted" and they hadn't even left the schools parking lot yet! I am starting to think that i should just tell her no, because there are far to many odds against this kid for us to take him. The walking, the lack of fear of strangers, he is one of the pickiest eaters I know of, as it stands if he comes with us I am going to have to get him something else to eat for the Hoop-Dee-Doo because he doesn't eat any of the stuff that they serve!!! I know my kids are no angels and they are far from perfect but at least I know that my kids understand that they have to stay by me, they eat what is put in front of them, and they aren't extremely whiny unless they are hungry or tired!!!
You know, your heart is in the right place but if it's going to become a problem for your family to take this little boy just don't. Especially considering how easily he tires. Disney World is not for the faint hearted, it's for the able bodied. I used a pedometer one year and I swear we walked like 40 miles one day at Epcot (alot of going back and forth though). You'd have to get him a stroller or something. The whining worries me too. Disney is a wonderful place but can make the sweetest person tired and cranky. I think you should diplomatically and nicely explain to your friend that there are just too many things going on (her husband, nosy, jealous grandparents) and it's becoming too difficult. Why doesn't the mother go too, no $? Maybe it's time for her and those over zealous, outspoken grandparents to find a way to save for a Disney trip. Good luck!
If someone asked me to take their child to Disney (not me offering) I would be like "HUH" at first (like in complete shock someone would ask me that.). I probably wouldnt take him, but that is because I have 2 whiny kids of my own and adding a 3rd would wear on my nerves.
When I read your post, my first thought was I can't believe your friend had the nerve to ask you that. I was also surprised you said yes. I understand being close the family and wanting to do something nice for the boy but that's a lot to take on.
As for her family, personally, I would just ignore them. Who cares what they think? If the parents think they could do a better job of taking the boy to WDW, let them!
The biggest concern I've seen through the post and replies is that your friend is planning to leave her husband but still wants to go to Colorado with him! Although she is your best friend, you might want to just steer clear. When her husband finds out about the trip (which he will at some point), it's just going to get ugly.
I agree with a pp that your heart was in the right place and a trip to WDW is probably the best thing that could happen to this little boy.
I honestly think you should stay clear of the mess that this family is in and go on vacation with your family and have a wonderful time and let them figure things out.Disney is alot of work as well as wonderful and that would just be one more thing to worry about. I 'm sure you are struggling with this but im sure you'll figure it out and have a great vacation.
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- disneychick
on Nov. 24, 2009 at 11:23 AM