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OT: I'm in pain and could use some cheering up.

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:42 PM
  • 18 Replies

I've been running to get in shape and I guess I over did it. I have hurt my back/ pelvis and think it could be stress fractures in the bone. I'm in a lot of pain and I have to hide it at school or I could get kicked out of the nursing program. So I need someone to cheer me up, please. Any funny pictures or jokes would be great to make me feel better.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CorbinsMomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:00 PM
good luck hun. i hope that it gets to feeling better.

what do u get when u cross an elephant and a rhino
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovingwifey
by Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:06 PM

I hope you feel better!  Take a nice warm bath later to help you relax!

mom_of_3_angels
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:11 PM


Quoting CorbinsMomma:

good luck hun. i hope that it gets to feeling better.

what do u get when u cross an elephant and a rhino

What?

Ambear72
by Amber on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:39 PM

el if i no lol 

Quoting CorbinsMomma:

good luck hun. i hope that it gets to feeling better.

what do u get when u cross an elephant and a rhino

 

DISNEY!  
Join us for some fun on the DISNEY! group....


 

Ambear72
by Amber on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:41 PM

 

PLEASE TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' 
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? 
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' 
       
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!             
                 
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.  One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' 
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I.  Let's have a beer.' 
         

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
 

      
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.  As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.' 
      
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
            
 Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! 
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. 
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ...  I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.  Please tell me what your name is.. 
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.  Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?' 
          
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
               
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!' 
        

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!  
 
 
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.  As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.  The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. 
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red.  Again, they went right through.  The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.  She was getting nervous. 
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.  So, she turned to the other woman and 
said, 
'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?  You could have killed us both!' 
Mildred turned to her and said, 
'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'           

 TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

DISNEY!  
Join us for some fun on the DISNEY! group....


 

mom_of_3_angels
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:19 PM

Those are great! Thanks they made me laugh.

Quoting Ambear72:

 

PLEASE TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' 
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? 
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' 
       
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!             
                 
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.  One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' 
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I.  Let's have a beer.' 
         

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
 

      
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.  As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.' 
      
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
            
 Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! 
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. 
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ...  I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.  Please tell me what your name is.. 
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.  Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?' 
          
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
               
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!' 
        

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!  
 
 
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.  As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.  The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. 
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red.  Again, they went right through.  The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.  She was getting nervous. 
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.  So, she turned to the other woman and 
said, 
'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?  You could have killed us both!' 
Mildred turned to her and said, 
'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'           

 TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!


CorbinsMomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:55 PM

Yep an Elifino (hell if I know)...LOL

Quoting Ambear72:

el if i no lol 

Quoting CorbinsMomma:

good luck hun. i hope that it gets to feeling better.

what do u get when u cross an elephant and a rhino

 


CorbinsMomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:58 PM

OMG I'm ROTFLMBO....Those were good

Quoting Ambear72:

 

PLEASE TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.  One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.  She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' 
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? 
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.' 
       
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!             
                 
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.  One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' 
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I.  Let's have a beer.' 
         

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
 

      
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.  As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.' 
      
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
            
 Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! 
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. 
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ...  I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name!  I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.  Please tell me what your name is.. 
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.  Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?' 
          
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!! 
               
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!' 
        

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!  
 
 
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.  As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.  The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. 
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red.  Again, they went right through.  The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.  She was getting nervous. 
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.  So, she turned to the other woman and 
said, 
'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?  You could have killed us both!' 
Mildred turned to her and said, 
'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'           

 TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!


CorbinsMomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:00 PM

CANDY
Share


REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MOM TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE CANDY FROM A STRANGER.
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THIS IS THE ONE SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT
CorbinsMomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:02 PM

Why We Love Children:


1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat,
but it was dead.

'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.

'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the
child innocently.

'You did WHAT?!' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!'

and it didn't move.'





2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....'Da-ad....'

'What?'

'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'

'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'

Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'

'WHAT?'

'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!'

Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad...

..'

'WHAT!'

'When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?'







3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into

mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'

The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and

out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's

sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''







4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a

mother was tucking her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a

tremor in his voice, 'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room'

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'The big sissy!'







5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service,

for the children's sermon.



All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress

and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,

'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?'

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on

microphone, 'Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron.'







6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child,

my three-year-old came into the room when I was

just getting ready to get into the shower.



She said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!'

I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby

growing in her tummy.'

'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your butt?'







7. A little boy was doing his math homework.



He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.'

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are

you doing?'

The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mom.'

'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother

asked.

'Yes,' he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What

are you teaching my son in math?'

The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'

The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus

two, that son of a bitch is four?'

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I

taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'







8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of

Chicken Little to her class.



She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried

to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went

up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'

The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you

think that farmer said?'

One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:

'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.




9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would

reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,

'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'

She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'







10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play

with the boys?'

Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're

too rough.'

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
'If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'







11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets

his hair cut, eating a snack cake.



The barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get

hair on your Twinkie.'

She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
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Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

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