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not such good news(updated)

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 12:04 AM
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ok for my friends who know i have been going through some breast pre cancer issuses I went for a mammo yesterday and guess what found another lump in my right breast so here i go again ..the problem is I don;t want to worry my son so should i not tell him....

Donna

Thank you all for your prayers and help..I just don't need anything more to handle I'm getting to depression to fight off a simple cold...I'm trying though and your prayers and help infomation helps me so please feel free to tell me your feelings on things I say.....

 

 

 

 

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-7):
101stmom
by Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 12:27 PM

I hope everything turns out well for you.  I'll say an extra prayer for you.

As for telling your son,   He needs to know what is going on to stay bonded with the family but you should get all the info you can before you tell him.. It will be difficult to tell him but I think it will be better for him to know than to be surprised down the road.

 

meme0003
by Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 4:15 PM

I agree u should tell your son but get all the facts first, it could be just a lump and not cancer so find out first then you will be better prepared to let him know the facts.

PRAYER HEALS ALOT OF ILLNESSES SO I WILL BE PRAYING NIGHT AND DAY FOR U.prayingmeme

jjandjsmomma
by Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 4:32 PM

Nothing makes my son madder than not being "in the loop" with what's going on at home. Especially worisome issues. He told me once, after I waited to fill him in on a stressful situation that knowing I'd do that only makes him worry all the time about what we are NOT telling him. So keep him as informed as you can - and try to do it with an upbeat outlook and demeanor. Not only will it help HIM not worry, but believe it or not, it will help YOU deal with the stress better too. Positive thinking is a MUST! Channel all those positive thoughts into yourself, and it can do nothing but bring more good your way. Smile, thank God for every day, visualize the good outcome happening, etc. And know that you, and your son, are in our prayers everyday. Good luck, and keep US posted too!

                  

Brokemom333
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 4:50 PM


Quoting jjandjsmomma:

Nothing makes my son madder than not being "in the loop" with what's going on at home. Especially worisome issues. He told me once, after I waited to fill him in on a stressful situation that knowing I'd do that only makes him worry all the time about what we are NOT telling him. So keep him as informed as you can - and try to do it with an upbeat outlook and demeanor. Not only will it help HIM not worry, but believe it or not, it will help YOU deal with the stress better too. Positive thinking is a MUST! Channel all those positive thoughts into yourself, and it can do nothing but bring more good your way. Smile, thank God for every day, visualize the good outcome happening, etc. And know that you, and your son, are in our prayers everyday. Good luck, and keep US posted too!

I agree with this, he really needs to know, and please keep us updated on your condition.

 


 



Rhonda

lacyjones
by on Dec. 18, 2008 at 7:21 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I dont think id tell my son if i were ill. but that is just me. The other post make a good statement as to why you should tell your son ....but i would feel that because my son & I are so close that he would worry & not do the job he needs to do. I need him to concentrate on keeping himself safe & healthy. But of things got worse for me, & i see that my battle would be lost then i would tell him then becasue like the other posts, i wouldnt want it to be a surprise. but only IF i knew there was a no win situation. God bless you! I hope you get good news soon.

infantrymomx2
by Member on Dec. 18, 2008 at 9:48 AM

I responded to this post on another group...

I have to say that I would NOT tell either of my sons until I had all the facts.  AND if it turns out just to me a non malignant growth, I wouldn't tell them at all.  It would kill me to think that I would have any part in distracting the focus of my sons to be totally immersed in what they need to do over there... I have been in your shoes and I understand the worry that comes along with finding something of concern like this... all the things that go through your head.

For me, the surgery to remove the mass was very non-invasive and if I remember, i was less tender after the  surgery than I was with the biopsy! lol... I took pain meds for the day of the surgery only and nothing after that.  I was sore... but no big deal!  It was gone, I was 'clean' and that was more important to me!!!

 I read a very interesting article about Lindsay Graham.  He is a US Senator from South Carolina and the only Senator, to my knowledge, that is an active duty reservists and he happens to be deployed to Afghanistan right now. (He is an attorney, COL by rank, and is helping draft the equivalent of the UCMJ for the Afghani Army.)  ANYWAY... he talks about how important it is for our service men and women not to have to worry about issues on the home front that they can do nothing about and how it takes away from the concentration that they need to be in the moment... to focus on the task at hand.  A very poignant point.

I undestand that our chidren want to know everything that is going on at home.  For me personally - and this is just my opinion - there is a fine line between giving information and having them be our confidant.  I'm not sure if that makes sense.  It's just... well, I suppose I'm saying, or asking, why would you worry him with anything until you have ALL the facts?  If it turns out to be nothing, then that's WONDERFUL!!!! 

You're in my prayers for everything to be ok!!!

- Sharon

MomVten
by Member on Dec. 18, 2008 at 10:06 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. My heart is with you. I read from the other Moms that your son needs to know. Being real will keep you close to him, but I understand why you would not want to tell him. Would there be a time after you know for sure what is going on with the tests that you could let him know?  My husband went thru a scare two yrs ago, in the end it was fine. We just kept it between he and I. If it had been worse we would have told our kids.

May God bless you with perfect health. I Jesus name. ~diana

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