Ectopic pregnancy story... TTC again... losing hope
My Husband and I tried desperately to conceive for nearly two years. After all of the hopes and dreams and trying, I got pregnant and it ended up being ectopic. I lost my pregnancy, of course, and my left tube. The doctors kept giving me the statistics that I only have a 10% chance of another ectopic, and I can still get pregnant with one tube.. and so on and so on.
I knew that I had potential tubal problems, however, after a series of tests revealed I had an infection at some point in my life that could have compromised them. This, I believe, also caused my infertility for the nearly two years that we tried. The problem now is, we do not and will not ever have twelve thousand dollars for IVF, so that option is out of the question. There is no nestegg to invest in fertility treatments, and we are left with the only choice we have... try naturally and hope that a miracle allows us a successful pregnancy one day, and not another ectopic. The truth is, though, that I hold out no hope for that happening. : ( All of the odds have been against me from day one, and why would anything change for me now?? What makes me think I have any shot at avoiding another ectopic in my one remaining tube, when it was also compromised by the past infection??
I am basically just sitting here expecting and planning on going back into surgery at some point. I have it planned out that I will try to have the tube salvaged if it happens, and I am trying to figure out how much our new insurance plan will cover of the surgery, Etc. I am that confident that I will suffer a 2nd ectopic, without a shadow of a doubt. I can't believe that this is what my life has come down to.... It is so very depressing. I just don't see a healthy, normal pregnancy happening after what I've gone through. I feel so let down and hopeless. My mother in law just looks at me and shrugs her shoulders, and asks me what my problem is... After all I have been through. She has no compassion, no sympathy toward the situation. And none of my friends understand, as they have never been through this. They are mom's to beautiful children, and never had a single issue.
I don't even know really what the purpose of this post was for... I guess I'm looking for hope that I don't really have. I don't know.
In any case, thanks for reading. <3