Ectopic one year ago and still refusing to try to conceive again

[Pastalove]

I went through a horrible ectopic pregnancy last January 2011, my tube ruptured and had to be removed.  My husband and I weren't exactly trying to get pregnant, we just weren't preventing it from happening and said if it happens fine.  Well, it happened but almost took my life with it.  Since then I've had a very negative outlook on pregnancy and have had no desire get pregnant again.  My OBGYN suggested back in June that I start using the ovulation tests everyday and take pre-natal vitamins.  I bought both and haven't touched either since I bought them, they're sitting under the bathroom sink unopened.  I'm almost 39 years old and I realize my time is running out.  Has this happened to anyone else?  Is it depression or something like that?  The thought of getting pregnant scares me to death and I feel like the next time will definitely kill me.

[KrystolF]

I'm so sorry for your loss and all that you've been through. I had my ectopic 3mnths ago. At that time, I went along with my husbands descision to not have anymore children. The thought of getting pregnant again scared me because there's a chance of it (the ectopic) happening again. So when the dr. gave us the choice of getting my remaining tube tied we said go for it. So I completely understand where you're coming from. I think everyone reacts differently to stressful, terrible situations like this. I don't know if this helps at all, but I hope it does.

[chane_L]

I fell into that small percentage that had a second tubal preg. However there are lots of happy ending after tubal stories in this group. If you are unsure then now isn't the time. It wouldn't hurt to speak with a professional either you maybe suffering with undiagnosed ptsd. 

For me not having a 4th living child has been a lesson of acceptance. I have been gifted with 2great nieces and a nephew just this year alone. I  love the borrow a baby program that i have with friends and family. I guess this is easier since i do have 3 children with our oldest set to graduate high school this spring.

My advice is to speak with someone and make the choice that makes you happy and hopeful. I was blessed with awsome friends that  are  there 100% of the time even if all I need is to cuss and scream about  how unfair this was.

[mandyjh]

I understand what you are going through, this was once me! I had an ectopic that ruptured in 2008, I had to get emergency surgery to remove my tube and save my life! It's been over 3 years sense then and it still haunts my dreams! I also feared having another ectopic and that time loosing my life, and leaving behind my DH and DS I asked myself many times if taking the chance would be selfish of me, I went through a horrible depression, I never felt so alone, but I did find hope within my heart, and a year later we conceived! And we had a beautiful healthy baby girl! It wasn't easy to take that step, but I knew that the odds were actually pretty great, because truly you have a lot less chance to have another ectopic if your tube is removed :) I am so happy that I took that leap of faith, and that I chose not to let fear take away the baby we deserved! I hope that one day, you can heal and you can find the strength you need to take that leap of faith, if it's what is in your heart :)