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How to cope

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 4:26 AM
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dont really know how im going to keep it together today its suppose to be the day i get to hold my baby in my arms and meet him truely for the first time and all i can do is looks down and see my scars and feel the emptiness within me i feel like im falling apart and theres nothing i can do about it. i keep having dreams of being pregnant with him and feeling him moving in my belly then i wake up hoping the dream came true and he is there but once again i feel nothing but emptiness and none of my family truely understand what im going through they say they do but ik they dont because theyve never gone through this and it just hurts even more to know and feel like im alone ik you ladies understand and im just trying to figure out what i should do? ik what i wana do is go to sleep and not wake till today is over but i cant(unfortunately) how do you angel mums cope with your dd? ne input would b helpful thanks for listening to my rambling.
by on Jun. 4, 2012 at 4:26 AM
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Replies (1-5):
TStripes
by Member on Jun. 4, 2012 at 7:23 AM
I hadn't reached my due date yet but I can imagine my mind will be in the same place as yours on that day. Have you thought about marking this day a remembrance tradition, something you can do every year? Maybe go to home depot and purchas a small tree to plant in your backyard. Or go and release balloons with your family? Maybe an impromptu family picnic at the park where you end it with each of you reading a letter you wrote to the baby? I know the last thing you want to do is be social, but maybe facing the day head on instead of hiding from it may help.
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skylersmommy010
by New Member on Jun. 4, 2012 at 1:16 PM

idk none of my family understand and think move on its over theres nothing left and they just dont understand that i lost my child that day and a mother yearns for her children all of them

TStripes
by Member on Jun. 4, 2012 at 1:54 PM

 

Quoting skylersmommy010:

idk none of my family understand and think move on its over theres nothing left and they just dont understand that i lost my child that day and a mother yearns for her children all of them


What about your husband?  Just the two of you can do something together.  Maybe dinner?  And if he's part of the family that doesn't understand then go get dressed up and take yourself out to dinner. 

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
skylersmommy010
by New Member on Jun. 5, 2012 at 1:56 AM

my SO trys his damndest to ignore the fact we lost the baby and that actually hurts me more then anything im just glad this day is over but now im dreading the anniversary of the surgery now but im glad i have a little bit of time befor that one thanks ladies

chane_L
by Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:41 AM

I have been very lucky and unlucky at the same time in this respect. Very lucky because my husband and oldest child (she was 14 ) were so supportative. Unlucky in the way that not only did they have to go through the pain of losing a baby but almost losing me multiple times(we had multiple ectopics). The 1st year was the hardest I developed an infection and seemed to be sick for most of it. It took 6mos just for the surgical site to completely heal. Our ectopics ruptured at 11-12 weeks.  I would lie if i said time to time, i don't think about what our now toddlers would be doing.  Or if I said each time I see the ugly scars that run hip to hip, I'm not disgusted and sad. Then I remember I am still alive and just 2weeks ago I watched that girl that was 14 at that time graduate High School and is now about to go to an Ivy League college.  It suxs to say say but you'll notice the days will get better. You don't have to forget but you do have to live, and really live don't just exisit.   

My husband once told me that he didn't like to talk about it because they weren't his babies yet. I don't mean biologically but emotionally. He wasn't able to feel anything , except pity as he held my hair during morning sickness.  He said I had the connection and the instant love to what was growing inside and killing me. At the end of it he really honestly hated our babies for almost killing me.

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