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How long to heal after ectopic? Emotionally and physically

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:03 AM
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I had laparoscopic surgery for ruptured right tube 6/25 after failed shot on 6/11.  I lost the right tube.  I still hurt (of course that is to be expected).  The emotional hurt of loosing the baby and the tube is worse.  I am so depressed.   The left side looks fine and I have no answers as to why I got an ectopic (only risk factor maybe the c/s I had for DD).   I want more children and am so scared that will take a long time if ever (I get pregant easily.... with DD after 3rd cycle and this PG was first off BC).  I just hate not having answers and not knowing what the future will bring.   And part of me feels greedy because I should be happy that have DD which I am but I want her to have at least one sibling.  Ok so many raw emotions right now.  And am so sad not to be PG right now. 

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:03 AM
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by Member on Jul. 6, 2009 at 9:04 PM

I am sorry you have had to endure such pain, I know what you are going through, I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have surgery in Oct. 08 I also lost my right tube, it was to be my second child, I have a 3 year old son I love with all my heart, but I was completely devastated when I lost my baby and tube, There was no reason for my ectopic I have none of the risk factors, but it just happened, I also thought it would take me a long time to conceive again, but it didn't, i conceived with one try and one tube just 3 months after my surgery, unfortunately I lost the baby to a miscarriage, the babies heart stopped beating at 8 weeks, it was just as devastating, but at least I know I can get pregnant, I have been trying again 2 months now. I know it is hard to see it now with your pain so fresh, but you will make it through, the physical pain will go in a few months, but I unfortunately cannot tell you when it will leave emotionally, because it has been 9 months sense my ectopic and I still cry myself to sleep from both my losses, they still both weigh heavy on my heart and mind everyday, hang in there sweety, and I wish you all the best.


by Member on Jul. 6, 2009 at 11:45 PM

I am still grieving my loss in Nov'08 and it got really bad on the EDD June 19th... I still think about it b/c of how hard it is ttc now and finding out my cousin BFF is pregnant WITHOUT ttc forever like me. It takes forever I think emotionally and psychically everyone is different


by Group Owner on Jul. 8, 2009 at 10:31 AM

Im sorry you are going thru this. Heal at your own pace. The truth is in time it gets slightly easier but never forgotten. I always think about my losses one ep in June 2007 and another ep in Feb. 2008. The truth is we have no control over these things and we must keep going and never give up. Life goes on and you have a child to dedicate yourself 100% to. It hurts, but keep going and it will happen again when its supposed to God willing. I just did IVF and got pregnant im 8 weeks, im so scared but so excited at the same time. Hugs!!!


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by Member on Jul. 8, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I had my ectopic back in March.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  I cried so much for so long.  I did not lose a tube but I just had the shot.  I felt like my heart had been ripped out of me and stomped on.  Thank God my son was there for me.  He was so sweet even though he was not too sure what was going on.  I found out about 4 weeks ago that I am pregnant again.  I thought it would take so much longer.  Even though I am pregnant and so excited, I still think about the baby that I lost every day.  I don't think the emotional pain ever really goes away, it just gets a little easier to deal with as the days pass.  I know that when my due date comes for my lost baby at the end of October, I am going to be a wreck.  All I can say is cry if you need to cry because it helps.  After I lost my baby, I found out there were two people I work with that were pregnant.  Plus I work in a daycare in an infant room.  It was really hard making myself go to work.  There will always be that hurt in your heart, and that is ok.  This is just not something you can bounce back from.  Like I said, even though I am pregnant again (and so thankful to God for) I still grieve over my lost baby.  I always think about how he/she will have turned out.  Just take it easy and know that some days will be harder than others.  You are allowed to have a hard time with this.  Big hugs to you.  I will keep you in my prayers. 

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by New Member on Jul. 13, 2009 at 10:15 AM

 I know how you feel. I have a healthy two year old. No problems with the pregnancy at all, no spotting nothing.  I had a c-section with him but the Dr assured me that it had nothing to do with why I have the ectopic pregnancy now. I also have none of the "risk factors".  I have never had a STD, no surgeries, no infections, etc.  I was told that now just because I had one ectopic, even without any of the risk factors it is more likely that I will have another. It is heart breaking. My husband and I had been trying for a baby for 6 months before we found out I was pregnant. ( My whole story is in the personal stories post).  They said  we could start trying for another baby as soon as I have a normal period, but I am scared to death.  I am on the nuva (sp?) ring for the time being.  But I am scared that being on birth control will cause another ectopic too.  I want to stop the birth control as soon as my cycles are normal. But do I deserve another baby?  I know the choice was kill the baby or it will kill me, but it does not make it an easy choice at all.  I was 3 months pregnant with the ectopic, it was a baby.... was.  I am just so scared that this will happen again. I am not sure if I could handle this again.

by Member on Jul. 14, 2009 at 10:25 AM

My ectopic was in Oct 07, and i still think about that baby that i lost.  i was "lucky" i kept my tube, but its useless, due to the rupture, my only chance now of having kids is IVF and 2 cycles later i am still without a child of my own.  the pain of the ectopics slowly goes away but the missing of the child/children i feel stays with us forever.  this was my 2nd ectopic and i still think of the kids at the oddest times.  I AM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN!!!!! 

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