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What to do with difficult 2 year old?

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 3:04 PM
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Hello all. I added a usually very sweet two year old boy, and after about a month in my care he started the "typical" terrible two stuff. The thing is- he's huge. His dad is 6'9", so at 2 he's as big as a 3 year old. THere are times where he will throw a tantrum so big (like when I tell him nkt to pull one of the other kids hair, or to try to eat lunch instead of refusing it, etc) that it will go into him screaming for a while. Last week he screamed by the door after mom left for 20 minutes. That was actually an easy tantrum because I just acknowledged his feelings. And then carried on with getting the other kids fed and asking "hmmm I wonder if john (I'm not using the child's real name) will join us for breakfast." And eventually he calmed himself and walked over. Other days I'm not so lucky. Today he was refusing what was on his plate and asking for toast. I told him this is what's for lunch and he should try it. He said "no!" And pushed the plate away so I warned him he would head to his napping mat early if he continued. He, of course, continued. I got him down and put him on his mat with his blanket but he screamed. Not cried- screamed.

His parents are such wonderful parents and he's not a bad kid. But these tantrums are draining me. And taking my time and energy away from the other kids. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle it? Thank you so much !
by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 3:04 PM
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Replies (1-7):
cubbies23
by Jennifer in Indiana on Feb. 15, 2017 at 7:21 PM

I would keep doing what you are doing. That's what I do. I make sure they are safe and can't hurt themselves and let them scream.  I do not make different foods for the kids. If they don't want it then that is fine. I tell them they are the ones that will be hungry.  I have a 5 yr old who has decided to scream and cry when she gets here. I've had her since she was one. She refuses to tell me why she is screaming and crying. If she doesn't stop she either lays on her cot or sits at the table until she is done. Mom says it's because I make her sleep at quiet time.  I told mom that is a lie because I can't make a child sleep.

carolina_gal
by on Feb. 16, 2017 at 10:13 AM

Great advice.

Quoting cubbies23:

I would keep doing what you are doing. That's what I do. I make sure they are safe and can't hurt themselves and let them scream.  I do not make different foods for the kids. If they don't want it then that is fine. I tell them they are the ones that will be hungry.  I have a 5 yr old who has decided to scream and cry when she gets here. I've had her since she was one. She refuses to tell me why she is screaming and crying. If she doesn't stop she either lays on her cot or sits at the table until she is done. Mom says it's because I make her sleep at quiet time.  I told mom that is a lie because I can't make a child sleep.


3LB2016
by on Feb. 16, 2017 at 2:29 PM
There's times where I think about dropping him because he adds a dynamic that makes my days so much harder than they were, but his parents are really wonderful and when he's not being a total pill he is really sweet. But it's not even noon yet and I've heard "no" at least 59 times.
Baby4us09
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 3:32 PM

I would hug him and acknowledge his feelings and if he is able to talk  through them ask him about it. There is something going on that he is having a hard time with. Maybe you and parents can come up with an action plan to help him through his day. Maybe a blanket for nap time from home? a shirt of moms or dads? A picture he can look at throughout the day?

Baby4us09
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 3:37 PM

I would ask him open ended questions. Give him a choice in what chair he wants to sit in that day or if he can be your big helper. When you are stressed he gets worse I imagine? Couldhe also be feeding off of your emotions? Maybe you can start doing a little yoga during the day?

Quoting 3LB2016: There's times where I think about dropping him because he adds a dynamic that makes my days so much harder than they were, but his parents are really wonderful and when he's not being a total pill he is really sweet. But it's not even noon yet and I've heard "no" at least 59 times.


3LB2016
by on Feb. 16, 2017 at 5:16 PM
Funny you mention yoga since I am a yoga instructor 😂 He likes doing fun stretches and moves with me but these kids have attention spans like humming birds. And you're probably right about feeding off my emotions. They pick up on a lot! Thank you for the reminder. It helped shift my perspective!

Quoting Baby4us09:

I would ask him open ended questions. Give him a choice in what chair he wants to sit in that day or if he can be your big helper. When you are stressed he gets worse I imagine? Couldhe also be feeding off of your emotions? Maybe you can start doing a little yoga during the day?

Quoting 3LB2016: There's times where I think about dropping him because he adds a dynamic that makes my days so much harder than they were, but his parents are really wonderful and when he's not being a total pill he is really sweet. But it's not even noon yet and I've heard "no" at least 59 times.

Baby4us09
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 5:45 PM

Welcome. Sometimes it takes seeing it from someone elses eyes. I just had a revelation myself with a 4 year old.

I want to do yoga with mine as well. I just need to finish rearranging things in my home and get more organized. :)

HOpe Friday is a different day for you!

Quoting 3LB2016: Funny you mention yoga since I am a yoga instructor 😂 He likes doing fun stretches and moves with me but these kids have attention spans like humming birds. And you're probably right about feeding off my emotions. They pick up on a lot! Thank you for the reminder. It helped shift my perspective!
Quoting Baby4us09:

I would ask him open ended questions. Give him a choice in what chair he wants to sit in that day or if he can be your big helper. When you are stressed he gets worse I imagine? Couldhe also be feeding off of your emotions? Maybe you can start doing a little yoga during the day?

Quoting 3LB2016: There's times where I think about dropping him because he adds a dynamic that makes my days so much harder than they were, but his parents are really wonderful and when he's not being a total pill he is really sweet. But it's not even noon yet and I've heard "no" at least 59 times.


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