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Topic: Do your parents influence the way you raise your own children?

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2007 at 2:56 PM
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With their best intentions, my parents (or in-laws) often try to instill their own traditional parenting habits to my own children. While I do actually agree with most of what they suggest, sometimes I'd rather just ignore them. For example, when my baby was a newborn, my mom would always bundle him with so many blankets even if it wasn't cold, that he would be constantly sweating! Do your parents try to influence the way you raise your own children? How do you feel about that? Do you agree or disagree with them? Do you embrace their advice or do you just shrug it off? What kind of things do they do?

by on Sep. 9, 2007 at 2:56 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Kaelynd
by New Member on Apr. 30, 2008 at 9:48 AM
Wow, I thought I was the only one having to deal with traditional asian parents.  My parents and in-laws are constantly pushing on how we should raise our kids.  From what to eat to what to wear.  Some are useful, yet, most I politely try to ignore.  Raising kids nowadays is different, especially since it's been 20 or more years since my mom took care of babies.  I know they mean well, but it's tough.  It's even more tough trying to explain to your mother-in-law why you don't do something.  I was more stressed-out with my parents and in-laws then taking care of my first baby. 
MountainPawz
by on Jun. 19, 2008 at 4:14 PM

I learned alot from my mother and Grandmother while I was raised by both of them.  Both very traditional Japanese.  Both were born and raised there.  My mother didn't come to US until she was 10.  So, she had alot to learn.
My grandmother enforced very traditional while I was a teenager.  All not so good to me.  So, now I make sure I don't do what she did, because I know how hard it was for me to adjust outside of that home, and I don't want my kids to be treated the way I was.  I struggle daily still to make sure my kids are comfortable.

Kihaku
by on Dec. 7, 2008 at 6:04 PM

It definately has its struggles having two sets of parents telling you what is best for your baby --especially when sometimes the advice are complete opposites!

I tend to incline towards my own parents because I can see first hand how I turned out and the experiences that brought me here.  Also, living day in and day out knowing what my parents went through (or what I put them through) helps sympathize towards their reasons.

But I also have to struggle with my in-laws telling me how it should be done.  There are both pros and cons to each side and at the end of the day there is just a big question mark of which one to incorporate. 

My kids are 8 and 5 now and I still struggle with the duality of both sides upbringing, but first and foremost, they are my kids and we must take the wisdom of both sides and try to find what fits and work it into what we hope is a solid upbringing!

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