Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you think about being a stay at home mom?

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2009 at 11:48 AM
  • 9 Replies
  • 459 Total Views

My hubby and I have been talking about this for awhile. I have a 5 y/o who will be starting kindergarden this August 2009 and just had my second daughter who is now 3 weeks old. We've been talking that I will stay home for the next year and a half to take care of our newborn and also to be able to put our 5 y/o in half day kindergarden and then maybe when she is 6 and starting first grade I will look into going back to work if it suits us at that time. Things are tight with me not working and hubby is working two jobs but we are enjoying me being home with both kids. But my mother seems to think I should be ready to go back to work and send the kids to daycare or a home sitter once my youngest is around 3 months. I think it's pointless for me to go back to work so soon since we would have to pay for 2 kids (one being an infant which is expensive) to go into daycare and then on top of the daycare cost we would have to pay the additional costs of putting my 5 y/o in kindergarden full time which is like $2,000 extra for the year since here where I live it is only required they go half day. So, my hubby and I have figured out that if I go back to work so soon that we would be spending my whole pay check on daycare cost pretty much. But my mother seems to think me having a job and spending my whole paycheck on daycare is better off than me not working at all. Just wondering what others opinions are on this? And if you would like to give me advice on how to approach my mother with my wishes so she stops bugging me about that would be great too cause my mother is very one sided on this issue and I don't want to argue with her but I want to do things my own way since I'm 23 almost 24 years old.

~Nicole~

by on Feb. 2, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
JBuron
by New Member on Feb. 2, 2009 at 11:56 AM

I was in the same boat, but w/ having 3 kids in 27 months. I debated going back to work cause of what everyone else said. But in the long run it would just have been pointless. After being a SAHM for 6 years I finally went back to work only on the weekends. I just needed a bit of sanity by then so I started waitressing to make as much money as fast as I could so I'd only be away from the kids as little as possible. To me it just worked out better that way. Now I'm pretty much a FT SAHM w/ a PT job.

BeanIrene1
by on Feb. 2, 2009 at 12:14 PM

I have been a homemaker for over 6 years. I absolutely love it.

I would never go back to work, so long as I dont' have to. I actually babysit out of my home so that I can stay here and make money.  If I think about having a job outside of the home, I get anxiety and small panic attacks.  That is how much I truly love being here.

I also homeschool. And it is VERY important to me to be here for that, and for the children's nutrition. As that is so important to me too.

I also like the fact that I do most of the housework.  99%, on my husband's days off he will pitch in here or there, or care for the kids so I can just get my work done. I am on a very good schedule and I keep things done, and going around here.

I firmly believe the mother is the heart of the home.  I would never want to give that up.  Also I would rather be poor and have tight money than go to work and have tons of money while my children were being raised and taught by someone else.

Obviously I am very biased on this subject.  So please do not take offense if you do work.  This is about me, my family and our personal beliefs in how things should be done.


Luv03
by Member on Feb. 3, 2009 at 8:46 PM

When my husband and i found out I was prego he asked for me to not work because it was our first child and he wanted me to enjoy every moment. Well, now my son is four and i'm still home. I do bring in a extra income of 1200-1400 per month by helping two friends with full time childcare at 35 per day per  child.

I know for sure I'll home school my little man until he is at least 7 then he will be placed in private schooling if he wishes to go to school at that time. He is in karate now and loves it =0) Plus the interaction with my friends kids Mon-friday and other friends that come over on weekends.

I say if its possiable by all means do it. Tho I went to college for early childhood education and development  and love taking care of my friends children I did read something very intresting online. IF YOU PLACE YOUR CHILD WITH SOMEONE ELSE YOU WILL HAVE SOMEONE ELSES CHILD. Some do not have a choice however as sad as that statment is ... its true.


Lots of luck...Jenn


Congrats on your newest addition =0)

My sexy 08 V-8 brand new tundra w/ my Sexy man =0)


Godsprophet
by Member on Feb. 4, 2009 at 12:13 PM

Well I'm a stay at home mom, so I hope I can help a little bit.

First things first, whatever decision you make with your husband is just that---its not your mama's decision. Mothers' are born to nag, I know that from one being a kid and two being a mother.LOL> Mom only wants what's best for you I assume, so she may be thinking of all the cons that come with staying at home.  But if you and your hubby think its a good decision for your family then do it! Like everything there is pros and cons, I have to be honest with you its not all glorious staying at home, but it's certainly worth any sacrifice you need to make right now. Also, just because you stay at home doesnt' mean it has to be forever, you may stay at home for a bit and your financial situation may change somehow-so its not an eternal position as mommy dearest may be thinking. LOL. If it works do it, if it dosnt' dont! As long as you and the hubby agree your good to go. Sit down and talk wtih mommy about the decision You've already made and ask her to respect you and your hubby's decision, like a good mama should! I wish you the best and go easy on mama, she just sounds a little protective of her little girl and no matter how old you get sweetie, you will always be her little girl.

Hope that helps

Be blessed

 

Armywife6
by on Feb. 22, 2009 at 9:31 PM

I LOVE being a SAHM. My hubby & I had the same discussion & we came to the same conclussion about my paycheck only going toward the cost of daycare. I personally recomend it if you are able.

As for your mom if it was me, I would just straight up tell her it's my life & this is what's best for our family. Of course I'm a pretty blunt person. Good luck & congrats on the new baby!

cokalea
by on Mar. 12, 2009 at 7:08 AM

were in the same boat but to get out of the house and have some adult interaction i work one day a week. on one of my DH's days off. i can have a little time away from the house and make a little money to help with the bills (or even the gas in the cars). i found a job that's easy and near my home. I'm housekeeping i a nursing home. and later this year I'm going to go to school to be a medical assistant and work full time.

BethRae
by on Aug. 8, 2009 at 7:06 AM

I do think it's pointless to put your children in daycare and basically have someone else raise them just so you can go to work and pay for them to be in daycare. I don't think you should work if you don't have to.  

cherry41089
by on Sep. 14, 2009 at 8:28 PM


Quoting Armywife6:

I LOVE being a SAHM. My hubby & I had the same discussion & we came to the same conclussion about my paycheck only going toward the cost of daycare. I personally recomend it if you are able.

As for your mom if it was me, I would just straight up tell her it's my life & this is what's best for our family. Of course I'm a pretty blunt person. Good luck & congrats on the new baby!

same here

momof3jam
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 3:48 PM

 If you can make it by on DH's salary alone, then I'd say go for it. We're on the other end of it - DH's paycheck is almost completely wasted on gas, daycare, etc. He needs to quit, but doesn't want to be a SAHD. I make more money, so as much as I'd love to quit and be home with the kids, that just wouldn't work.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)