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Bad Time

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:12 PM
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It's the Christmas season. The time of year that my husband starts getting more and more depressed and other symptoms show up. He told me today that he was hearing voices earlier today. That scared me because he takes care of our almost 3 month old.

You know I knew when I married him he had depression. It was easy to be sympathetic and want to comfort him and let him sleep all the time, etc. The longer we've been married the harder it is to be sympathetic and not be irritated and crabby with him when he gets really down in the dumps. It's so bad right now that he barely talks to me or gives our son attention. I had to miss a class tonight to stay home and take care of both of them because I am uncomfortable leaving our son alone with him. I just pray that our son doesn't turn out like him. He's a kind, caring person, but his depression and other issues make him really annoying and hard to live with. He questions everything and thinks that he should be doing everything right all the time. No gray areas at all. Everything is black and white.

I want to cry but feel as though I need to be the strong one and not let my emotions control me. I just wish I could have a "normal" life with him and not have to watch what I say or do or even have to deal with his depression and how he deals with it. I know he can't help it, but sometimes I want to scream at him to just deal with it and go on with life! He makes me feel like I'm a bad person for feeling the way I do and so very crabby! grrrrr!

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:12 PM
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Replies (1-2):
khelp
by New Member on Dec. 4, 2009 at 9:40 AM

you are feeling normal with having to deal with his issues. I feel the same way with my husband. There are times that I just wish it would all go away. BUT I LOVE HIM SO VERY MUCH that I can't leave. I am here to stay with him till the end. So I have to relizing that I have to be the strong one during these hard times. Just keep your head up and find a good friend that you can dump your angry out on. Cause we as support wifes we need to be able to talk about are anger. I wish you good luck with this and if you need to talk just e-mail me and we can let out are feeling together cause we both understand each others anger.

figaro8895
by Member on Dec. 4, 2009 at 12:14 PM

You are not alone. Many of us (if not all) struggle with choosing such a difficult path... Only you can decide when the burdens outweigh the joys and if you are endangering your own self-care and boundaries and care of your children by remaining with the person you love.

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