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New to the group seeking help

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:15 AM
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I am the wife of a wonderful man, the man I see in my mind's eye.

Tom has been a wonderful man, but he suffers from depression and often times recluses and has had some violent mood swings. He takes Lexapro, but unfortunately, we're dealing with the issue I've discovered where he'll take it consistantly for a bit, then stop for awhile, and start again.

For the past week we have argued every day and he's been very hurtful and almost like a child in the way that he's treating me. I'm unsure of a lot of things, but this has been taking it's toll on me as of lately I'm experienceing panic attacks when I deal with things that include him.

Tom seems to almost go through this in cycles, He started this just when I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Then he became better so things didn't seem to bother me. Then he started going down hill again after we found out we were pregnant again.

Soon he changed to Nights without discussing it and declared it was for him to decide. Since things were off and it was already done, I couldn't explain to him the diffoculties of having a family and working Nights.

Since then he's had 3 of these episodes that last for about 2 months, and i don't know if I can take two months of this treatment and lifestyle any more. I'm going to call our councelor after I talk to my friend about everything and see if she will babysit my children while we go together. I just want him better, I want some semblance of my husband back. The one I fell in love with, and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this requires a lot of work, and some days it is so hard, but I just want things to work for the best with my family.

in love



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by on May. 24, 2009 at 2:15 AM
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by Member on May. 24, 2009 at 1:53 PM

Hi, I am new to the group too

So much of your post is familiar, the cycles, the childish behavior, even the switching to nights without consulting me first.  We have 2 girls with special needs, my oldest girl has multiple diagnoses.  Him working nights is a way of escaping the responsibilities here.  It is tough

Please PM me if you want to talk.  Does your DH have an official dx??

by on May. 24, 2009 at 5:39 PM

When this first happened he was told it was simply situational depression. I really don't believe that diagnosis is correct. I am going to make him an appt with our local FNP to really discuss things with them. At this point, I'm just at a loss in dealing with him. Today, I didn't clean, I cleaned out yesterday working on everything and I only got like 3 hours of sleep between cleaning and our kiddo, Ian. But I came in and curled up with him today and just had to whisper in his ear that I would never dessert him. Maybe he'll believe that.

I actually talked with my MIL last night about his behavior and she was shocked. For our entire relationship, I have taken the brunt of my FIL's disgust as a horrid house keeper, dispite the fact we have two small children and I work full-time. Tom trahses the place before they come and cruxfies me to them when they are here. I just don't know. He gets things fomr them doing that kind of thing that he normally wouldn't get.

He seems to be in a better mood today, I made him sleep with the windows and shades open and almost thrust his pill down his throat. Love him, and he needs that. I just want my Tom back.

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