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Lost two sons

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2008 at 11:43 AM
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I am new at this, so bare with me. I lost my son Ronan last September at 17 weeks 3 days. I was crushed. My husband  had a hard time dealing with his loss, but our daughters felt it just as hard as I did. Then we found out we were expecting again in Feb. and were thrilled. I had a hard and trying pregnancy, but once I made it to 20 weeks I felt comfortable enough to tell our girls and our Families. Then on June 23 we lost our second son Declan due to amniotic band syndrome., he was 25 weeks exactly. I had a csection the next morning. I was able to hold him, but it was difficult to focus and keep him in my arms from all the pain and drugs in me from surgery. My husband had to tell our girls again they lost another brother. I have limited my interaction with family and friends for now. I know they want to help, but they just tell me how sorry they are and just stare at me and cry. I just want to keep my husband and daughters close for awhile and grieve. I find it easier to talk to people who have experinced my pain and heartbreak. We packed up all his things and now we have an empty room. It breaks my heart when I think about the two of them. I can't picture my life without  three children in it, yet how does someone go through all this again, having loss 2 so far into the pregnancy and put my daughters through this again? I just wanted them so much. I also have to deal with the fact that just like when I lost Ronan my friends and family went on to have their babies, but now my brother just had a baby yesterday and my sister is due at the end of this year and both of my sister in laws are due soon. My daughter wants to know why not us and when will she have a baby brother or sister? If anyone can help me find peace with this or comfort please let me know. Thankyou
by on Jul. 3, 2008 at 11:43 AM
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heratyc
by on Jul. 13, 2008 at 11:41 AM
I'm kind of new here, but one thing that someone told me that really helped me when I lost my daughter was that a child who dies in the womb never had to suffer, they were in the safest, most comfortable place anyone could ever be, and they never had be seperated from mom.  It doesn't make the loss feel any better, but for me it lets me think that maybe they had some peace.  I don't know if that helps, but I hope it does.  I'm sorry for your loss.
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