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Another heartsick day.......

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 11:27 AM
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I was watching Greys Anantomy last night when I realized how quiet my house was....Where is my husband this time? About 11:15 I called his cell-no answer.So I watched t.v. and waited....about midnight my eldest daughter called-dads over here to drunk to drive,will you come get him?
I get in the car and head out there,I was so stressed my whole being was shaking. No anger,,,no tears.....just heartbroken. 17 years of marriage,4 kids,3 grandkids.This is not my life.By the time I got there-he was gone so now he is DRIVING while drunk and puking. I prayed all the way home,which is where he was when I got there.My biggest fear is him killing someone else with his choices.I just went to bed and locked the door.This morning about 6 a.m. he climbs into bed and thinks hes going to have sex with me-WTF!
I got out of bed and then he went to work- with no words spoken.So this is how my weekend will be.............
I understand I said in sickness and in health - And I DO LOVE this man.
How the hell does anyone get out of this situation? I want out and dont even know where to begin,I cannot be me.This is not what I wanted,not who I am.
I am lost ,work part time, no education and no money as He has screwed us into a whole financially.
I am going to start making a plan...........I need support and wisdom from those that have been in my shoes....PLEASE! Thank you for listening,R.

by on May. 4, 2007 at 11:27 AM
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by Group Owner on May. 5, 2007 at 9:29 AM
I am so sorry. I don't have advice on how to get out, because I am basicly in your shoes too. But maybe one of the other members do. Please respond. I am here to listen. You are not alone. I hope that makes you feel better. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to get out. You have been there all these years. You deserve better.
I must say, I am definately scared of your letter. It looks like my future if things don't change. Hang in there.
by New Member on May. 21, 2007 at 1:53 PM
So Sorry to hear it..... I am in the same boat!!!! I love how they think we'd have sex with them,when they're drunk, AND how the next day, it's"business as usual".....Like nothing even happened
                              Anyone have any advice for us??please,
by Group Owner on May. 21, 2007 at 5:04 PM
Someone from CAfe Mom sent this to me. Not really an answer, but makes us stronger.

      Carrots, Eggs and Coffee Beans     

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You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did
and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the
hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

This is to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendships you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

May we all be COFFEE!

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