OMG is it just me or do I have the right to be pissed about my dds 10th b-day?
Ok this will be a two part vent. First of all this is the second time I've had to write this because my dhs posessed laptop hates me and decided out of nowhere to delete my last one before I could finish it...argh!
Now for the b-day vent. My SIL has been a life saver for me ever since my dd was born. She would go out and buy her clothes (just because) and take her fur up to a week at a time. (Which was great for me because she was the only babysitter I had or could afford.) She is 10yrs older than me and had no kids at the time. About two years ago she moved to another state to be with a guy she thought she was going to marry and be happy (like me and my dh). She always looked at our relationship and decided that was what she wanted for herself (okay I get that). She ended up finally pregnant with her dd a little over a year ago and we were all thrillled because she was told she could never have kids of her own. Well the guy broke off the engagement and wants nothing to do with their dd. She stayed in that state for her good paying job (she makes about $75-$100 an hour while my dh only makes about $11 raising a family of three). She expects us to take that long expinsive trips to her house for the holidays (wich we have done) but won't stop by when she is just 5 blocks away from us every other weekend visiting a friend of hers. Last July my SIL insisted on babysitting our dd (finally) so we brought her over. When we got there she begged us to stay a few days out of the week she was going to have our dd to spend time with her...which we did with no problem. Durring that time all I heard from her was how her life was so hard and how she had no time for herself (when she dropped her dd off at daycare at least 3 times while we were there just because she could). After watching the fireworks me and my dh were going to get ready to go home and she insists we watch her dd overnight so she could go spend the night at her boyfriends. At that point we packed up our daughter and left. Even her boyfriend was like "wtf you have family there that you are suppose to be spending time with". Since then we haven't heard a word from her. But last week a friend of hers contacted my dh to see what my dd wanted for her b-day (he's so sweat he always remembers). And that he'd also tell my SIL any ideas we gave him so she would know what to get her too. Up untill yesterday (my dds 10th b-day) we still heard nothing from her of her plans on comming over untill 3pm. She told my dh that she'd be up for their familys late thanksgiving dinner (wich we weren't going to) then would be over for my dd. At about 8pm (when she said she'd be here at 6pm) she finally shows up and tells me she can't stay and pretty much just drops off the gifts and leaves. When my dd opened the gifts she got what she asked for from her friend, but what she gave her was a coat (which she knows she has about 20 of because she buys them for her) and worse it's WHITE. Ok ok not being greedy here but a little thought in the gift would have been nice. I wasn't exactly mad about that (even though anyone with a kid knows never get a kid white clothes...they aren't going to stay that way). But what really pissed me off was the card. Not only was the one she got for me inapropriate (my b-day is 3 days after my dd) but the one she got for my dd was upsetting. It was tinkerbell....she's always known I'm the one into tinkerbell not my dd she always has and always will be into princesses. What made it much worse is when I opened it an read what she wrote. It was the exact heart warming note I wrote to her dd for her b-day! Word for Word!!!! The only thing that was changed were the names. WTF??? The least the woman could do was pay attention enough to remember she likes princess and to write her own damn note to my dd! Ok so what do you all think...is it just me or would you be pissed too?
Forgetmenot 
Seems like your SIL is going through lots of emotional upset over caring for her child and wanting a relationship and she's not as attentive to your and her niece as she was in the past. Being a single parent isn't easy. I mean she did buy her niece a present and it seems she still does things for her. I wouldn't sweat it. I can see if she never did anything, at all, ever in life and totally didn't care about her niece, ya know? She's trying.
If she means so much too you, maybe check in with her and see what's really going on?
Ok as for being a single mom she has more help than I did as a married one (my hubby was always out of town working and left me to raise my dd alone) the exception to that is I couldn't afford a day care to drop my kid off to any time I pleased. Durring the 3 times she did that while we were there there was no Need to do so. I understand for work is nessicsarry and once in a while but every day? It's not that she is ignroing my child for hers...the whole time we are there while visiting she ignored both her and my dd. Any time the child tried to get her attention she pushed her away leaving me and my dd to take care of her and give her attention. I do belive the woman may be depressed, but that is no excuse for not paying any attention to her dd let alone mine. As for the gift what pissed me off is the fact she stole word for word of the honestly heart felt note I wrote to her dd and wrote it to my daugther in her card. The least she could do is take time to come up with her own note to my dd.
You're upset because she got your daughter a white coat? That is really petty if you ask me. Yes kids get "white" dirty but they also get other colors dirty as well..white can easily be bleached ! be grateful that she did buy your dd a gift..and as for the card, does it really matter if its tinkerbell or not? Are you mad YOU didn't get the tinkerbell card? again really petty...only thing that you could be mad at is the fact she couldnt come up with her own words IN the card and again thats petty to be mad at....or maybe its just me..I don't let petty stuff ruin my day nor upset me.
Quoting ArmyPrincess81:You're upset because she got your daughter a white coat? That is really petty if you ask me. Yes kids get "white" dirty but they also get other colors dirty as well..white can easily be bleached ! be grateful that she did buy your dd a gift..and as for the card, does it really matter if its tinkerbell or not? Are you mad YOU didn't get the tinkerbell card? again really petty...only thing that you could be mad at is the fact she couldnt come up with her own words IN the card and again thats petty to be mad at....or maybe its just me..I don't let petty stuff ruin my day nor upset me.
Glad I am not the only one..I am reading the post thinking something really happened and my mouth dropped at the reasons..
Quoting MiCKIE72:
I totally agree! you are being petty! sorry
Quoting ArmyPrincess81:
You're upset because she got your daughter a white coat? That is really petty if you ask me. Yes kids get "white" dirty but they also get other colors dirty as well..white can easily be bleached ! be grateful that she did buy your dd a gift..and as for the card, does it really matter if its tinkerbell or not? Are you mad YOU didn't get the tinkerbell card? again really petty...only thing that you could be mad at is the fact she couldnt come up with her own words IN the card and again thats petty to be mad at....or maybe its just me..I don't let petty stuff ruin my day nor upset me.
I don't give a damn about that card she gets me let alone if the woman even remembers my b-day for one. For another IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DAMN COAT! The whole post is the fact that the woman was so friggin lazy to come up with something to write my dd that she stole word for word the heart felt note I wrote to her dd. You all are saying it's the thought that counts...that I've always known. I have NEVER been a greedy person, I have always worked hard for the little I have. But tell me this what thought is there in stealing a message for someone else and acting like it was yours? And as for her gifts I have never cared one way or another if she gave my dd anything. My dd has several aunts and unkles who don't. I have never asked the woman to do so let alone expected her to. Again it's not about the gift it's about the message...like wtf a simple love would have surficed but when my dd (knowing of the message in her cousins card) read that she was heart broken knowing her aunt didn't even bother to state how SHE felt about HER. On top of that the woman didn't even bother to stay 5 mins for her to open anything.
No need to get all hostile about it..you posted and we responded..if you don't want HONEST answers/opnions then maybe you shouldn't post...from what YOU posted it seems like you are pissed about the gift and the card..maybe you should reread what YOU typed up before getting angry..we are going by what YOU put and like I said, and I stand by it..ITS PETTY AS HELL.
Meet Our Military Moms
In honor of Memorial Day, let's get to know the strong and supportive group of Military Moms right here on CafeMom!
MEMORIAL DAY !!!
- indianarose729
on Nov. 27, 2011 at 2:35 PM