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big meeting tomorrow

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:44 PM
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OK so Im stressing about meeting with the school district tomorrow. My son will be 3 in March. Apparently up until age 3 all our services he gets is free. He has speech therapy, occupational therapy and play therapy pretty much all week.  His speech threrapist has done wonders with him. She is an oral motor therapist. The state or school district wont allow us to continue seeing these therapists once he hits 3. They can provide their own, but Ryan is very routine oriented and is very comfortable with them. Plus we had a regular speech therapist and there was no progress. With the oral motor therapist there has been probably 15 new words in the last 4 months.

       They can provide him with their Pre-K program, which is kids 3-5 broken down into age groups but Ryan only has about 25 words. He has sign but other kids and maybe teachers dont get that. He has very little social interaction, except with cousins ect. He also has some sensory issues. One of our current therapist say that teh speech therapist in the school is really bad. He doesnt care at all.

       i want toget him into this one Pre-K which is private. It is broken down into young-middle-and older 3's. The same is for 4 year olds. This school also has a 1:1 speech therapist. I like that.

I am just afraid that he will get into a situation where kids who talk alot wont be able to understand him and not want to play with him becuase he cant talk. I dont think they are clicky at 3 but Im afraid he will be an oucast or have a melt down. Plus he is not yet potty trained. (in the next few weeks we will do it)

       Pretty much Im frustrated with the system becuase they just want to place him wherever is the cheapest for them, regardless of what he needs. Sure they will offer services but only if they feel he needs them.

        Also, they may have to re-test him for Autism. Which in a way is good becuase he will get more services he needs. But I hate to smack a label like that on him. it was hard enough for me the firs ttime they dx him with ASD.

        Thanks for letting me put this out there. I want to cry every time I think about the fact that my little boy is going to have a hard time and is not 'normal' at least by 'their' standards.   I am totally going to lose it if they tell me they are going to throw him in with all the other kids and not help him.  Im totally emotional with this subject and Im pregnant so that doenst help. I know Im either goin to cry or scream. Maybe both.

       I am just waiting for the day he will be able to get past that wall that is hindering his speech!  Will that day ever get here???????

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:44 PM
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by New Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 11:08 AM

First off, let me start by saying, take the time to cry and scream!  You both need and deserve the release.  Next, I would strongly recommend that you look into finding an advocate to attend meetings with you.  Unfortunately, school deptartments try to get away with doing less than they are supposed to for the children.  I don't think they are doing it because they don't care about the children I think they are doing it because they are trying to save money, but whatever they're reasons, it is unacceptable.  Having done home based therapy for children with ASD, I've seen first hand just how hard families have to fight in order to get the services their children the services their children so desperately need.  It truly is a case where the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  The more noise you make the more likely you are to get the services your son needs.  It won't be easy, and it most definitely sucks.  That's why I strongly urge you to find an advocate (you can find someone that is anywhere from a more experienced parent all the way to a lawyer.  Obviously, the more professional the more expensive.)  I would also google to find some support groups in your area.  These families will know the ropes and may have a few tricks to get some extras out of the school dept.



by New Member on Jan. 26, 2010 at 12:30 PM

 Hi Ryansmommy,

 There are a lot of similarities with our situations. My son is 3 years 2 months , I just gave birth to my second baby  7 weeks ago, my 3 year old is not potty trianed ,and was getting speech and OT through early intervention which ended in Novemeber on his third birthday. Yesterday I had the meeting with the school district  and was agonizing over it because I didnt know what to expect. I went through hell and back with EI until I finally got the best therapists only to have them leave when he turned 3. They were phenomenal and helped him so much. I know your fustration and emotions with this whole entire situation . You are not alone.

 I am also a prek teacher ,and from what you described that  prek program you want  sounds great , your the mom you know whats best for your baby. I had to fight at the meeting yesterday  i was even teared up and wouldn't accept what they were telling me  until I finally I got what I wanted and what my son  desperately needed which was a spot in a school where he would be in an intergrated class, getting speech 2x a week and ot 2x a week.  They tried to dismiss me and intimidate me but I wouldnt let up. I am the only one that could fight for him. Hang in there mom don't give up until u get what you want and what he needs. I promise you it gets eaiser, I have spent countless hours worrying and  crying like many other moms, but the bottom line is we are all  getting our precious angels the help they need and they will progess with the help they are getting. Keep the faith mom.

by on Feb. 11, 2010 at 2:29 PM

Just wondering how everything has been going? I am in the same situation. My son will turn 3 next week, and since he can't be in EI or continue to see his speech therapist at home, he will be attending preK in the local elementary school. Ask if you can visit the class before you decide. I did, and I was totally amazed. The class is made up of 3-5 yr old with developmental delays. There was one 3 yr old who talked more than my son and one 5 yr who talked less. They also had what they called 'peers' in the classroom. They are preschoolers who are at normal development to help.

My son starts school next wednesday and I'm very excited for him but at the same time am very nervous as well. He has been home with me for the past 3 years and while I KNOW that being in a classroom setting with other kids will help him tremendously, at the same time I worry that he's still a bit young to be in an elementary school setting. Did I also mention that he is not potty trained either, but that his teachers will work with him on that as well. I took my son yesterday to see the class for a while and he didn't want to leave. He says about 30-40 words and he had no problem at all communicating to the other kids.

I hope everything turns out well for you and your son. While the public schools do have a budget unlike the private schools, know that most elementary school special education teachers know what they are doing and do it for the kids.

by on Feb. 11, 2010 at 2:38 PM

Hello, and I soooo know what you are going through.

My son made the transition to the school system the Fall of 2008, and I sure did have my worries....  My sons therapist got him into Pre-K a year early to develop his speech and language. I was worried as well that no one would be able to understand him.... but he is doing amazing! Hearing other kids talk is very empowering for him and he has been doing so much better!

Fortunately the school he goes to has therapists there so they can pull him out of class for his 45 min. of ST and OT 3 times a week.

I also have an outside therapist come to our home twice a week.... she can do more than the ones at the school cause they are so limited on what they can do. And it is all covered by his Medicaid. 

Good luck! And he will be great!

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