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My kids' father is not on board with this ...

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:35 PM
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So ... my kids father is against me trying to get services for our children through the state.  He doesnt want the kids to be in special education.  He's in denial.  My oldest son began speaking at the age of 3.  He's been diagnosed many times with an expressive language disorder.  Because in our state children are referred to the public school system at 3 years old my insurance company doesnt want to give him more than 6 visits and I know thats not enough.  My youngest is non verbal and he may have autism.  I have an appt. w/ a child psychologist to see for sure.  I dont know what to do.  I dont want their father to feel like im disregarding him but in the end I could care less about him b/c I know my kids need the help and the school seems like its the only place I can get it at their age.  What do you think? Thanks for reading this.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:35 PM
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Replies (1-7):
sayres
by Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:50 PM
I am so very sorry you are in this situation. It can't imagine having a partner who is not willing to get help for your children. If your dh is really in denial do you think you could say let's just get the old one tested by the district. Since you don't think there is anything wrong with him let's just get him tested. If he qualifies for services then you have another fight but maybe if he see the results in black and white he'll agree. I would use the same approach for your youngest. Hope you can get them the help they need!
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SarahSuzyQ
by Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Perhaps you might also invite him to attend the IEP where they report the results and follow up on the eval? Or prior to that, invite him to your very first meeting with the therapist (in our area it is a short first screening) so he can hear directly from the professionals and feel a little more involved with the process.
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desiree607
by New Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 9:57 AM

Thanks for replying. I think this is a great idea. We've been arguing going back and forth about these kids for months and i guess you can say we've come to an agreement.  Their father knows that my oldest has speech issues.  I agreed to do my part with getting referrals for the audiologist and speech therapy. We all will be going to the appts. together.  He agreed that when they get evaluated if they need more help than what we can get them - then we will go to the state.  I am keeping him to this b/c after this i am going to the state w/ or w/o him.  thanks for the support!

Quoting sayres:

I am so very sorry you are in this situation. It can't imagine having a partner who is not willing to get help for your children. If your dh is really in denial do you think you could say let's just get the old one tested by the district. Since you don't think there is anything wrong with him let's just get him tested. If he qualifies for services then you have another fight but maybe if he see the results in black and white he'll agree. I would use the same approach for your youngest. Hope you can get them the help they need!


desiree607
by New Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:02 AM

Thanks for replying.  The problem w/ this is that w/ the youngest I already had him eval'd w/ a developmental pediatrician. I went w/o telling him b/c i didnt want him to try to stop me from going. He recommended my son seeing a psychologist so we have an appt in Dec. W/ the oldest, he has appts with speech therapy and an audiologist coming soon so we will all be going together to see what their findings are. 

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Perhaps you might also invite him to attend the IEP where they report the results and follow up on the eval? Or prior to that, invite him to your very first meeting with the therapist (in our area it is a short first screening) so he can hear directly from the professionals and feel a little more involved with the process.


sayres
by Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 7:33 PM
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That is great. Please let us know how it goes.


Quoting desiree607:

Thanks for replying. I think this is a great idea. We've been arguing going back and forth about these kids for months and i guess you can say we've come to an agreement.  Their father knows that my oldest has speech issues.  I agreed to do my part with getting referrals for the audiologist and speech therapy. We all will be going to the appts. together.  He agreed that when they get evaluated if they need more help than what we can get them - then we will go to the state.  I am keeping him to this b/c after this i am going to the state w/ or w/o him.  thanks for the support!

Quoting sayres:

I am so very sorry you are in this situation. It can't imagine having a partner who is not willing to get help for your children. If your dh is really in denial do you think you could say let's just get the old one tested by the district. Since you don't think there is anything wrong with him let's just get him tested. If he qualifies for services then you have another fight but maybe if he see the results in black and white he'll agree. I would use the same approach for your youngest. Hope you can get them the help they need!



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SarahSuzyQ
by Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 8:12 PM
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I'm glad he is willing to get involved with some of the appointments, etc. I think that might make a huge difference in his attitude, seeing some concrete data and actions that can be taken. I know those kind of things always help my dh. Good luck to you!
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desiree607
by New Member on Nov. 11, 2011 at 10:01 PM

thank you ladies for replying and for your advice and support.

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