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I just need someone to talk to where my children or my parenting wont be judged!!

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:36 PM
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I am so tired of my mom and rest of my family for that matter it's not even funny. 

1. She has pretty much admitted that she is embarrassed that my 2 1/2 year old does not talk and that she may have to go to a special pre-school when she turns 3 
a. They told me that they will send a bus to pick her up and bring her home...Mom flat out said if you don't take her she doesn't go....Umm no I am the mom and I will make all decisions regarding her. 
B. She claims the only reason that DD doesn't talk is that I don't talk to her enough...I talk to her all day long, 
C. Speech therapy is stupid according to her...We have been doing it for a year, it has not helped much but it's the best I can do for her, we have had her hearing tested and all that not so fun stuff 
D. Learning signs will hurt her more then help according to my mom...DD refuses to learn them so it's not like it's really hurting anyone to try to teach her 

2. She is also embarrassed my 4yo has to get AFO orthotics for his toe walking. 
A. She told me that I AM NOT TO TELL ANYONE he is getting them....HEY EVERYONE ON BABY GAGA HE NEED ORTHOTICS AND THEY HAVE DINOSAURS ON THEM.....she claims its a personal matter. 
B. I am making up the toe walking she dosn't see it ... Yeah mom PT's are going to take time to help him even though there is no issue...come on now 

3. She hates the fact the my 5yo DD wears glasses. 
A. She claims she doesn't need them. and that I let her pick stupid frames 

I am so sick of the negativity about my kids. I am at a point that I don't want to tell her anything any more, but then she jumps my shit for NOT telling her. I can't talk to my MIL about anything because she is on the other end of the spectrum of my mom and thinks every thing is 378539840% more serious then it really is... Example: DS toe walks, it must be Muscular Dystrophy,. DD doesn't talk.... Immediately it's Autism...I can't talk to my dad or brother because "They don't want to hear it" and my brother tells my mom everything I say.... I just wish I had someone to talk to who would listen to me and not criticize or judge or jump to conclusions about my kids. I am doing my best for them what more can I do!!

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:36 PM
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by Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:24 PM
Welcome! It is hard when your family is unsuportive. Sometimes you have to limit your interaction with negative people. Maybe you can find a local support group for special needs moms. It sounds like you are doing what you can for your children. My ds goes to a special needs preschool though it was hard for my parents and in- laws it was the best thing for my ds.
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by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:29 PM

That bites. I am sorry your family is that way and of all people your mom.  That is not right. You need her unconditional love and for her just to listen. I would avoid my family if they were this way. It sounds like you have enough on your plate already.   Can you join a MOPS group? Do you have any friends you can talk to?

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 9:36 PM

ugh forget her! is she perfect >:o ?!!?

i didnt even bother to read the last paragraph cause i was getting pissed!

we're not perfect lady ! we all have our flaws and she should learn to love her grandkids unconditonally and if not what the fck ever lady YOUR LOSSS !!!!! 

2 of my lil cousins have speech problems theyre 6 and 9 and theyre gettin better once she starts school she will be good . and they wear glasses.

we are humans !  

by Member on Nov. 27, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I am sorry you aren't getting the support you need from your family. It sounds very hurtful, and I agree that I would just limit my exposure to that. Tell your mom that you will no longer discuss the kids' educational and medical needs with her, as she is too critical. Then let it go. It's hard, but this sounds just toxic and destructive.

But you do need support. I think looking for a support group or mops or even a special needs play group, just some place where you can connect with other moms, might help you feel less alone.
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by New Member on Nov. 29, 2011 at 12:14 PM

im sorry you're going through this.  I think that you should keep what you tell your mother to a minimum and do whats best for your children. If she can't get it together and support you then she will miss out on her grandkids when you have finally had enough.

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