Dominick's UC birthstory 07/26/08

The successful UC:

As most of you know I started having some mild contractions yesterday morning around 3 AM or so. They kind of puttered out on me though and didn't pick back up until 1PM. Early labor was a complete breeze. Hubby and I did some last minute shopping and errand running before settling in for what was sure to be one very long night. Around 10PM the contractions started to pick up and were becoming strong enough that I had to utilize methods to get through them. At 2:07 I lost my mucus plug and expected my bag of waters to be breaking soon. As soon as I lost my plug the contractions intensified 10 fold. It was all about grin and bear it and KNOW that it WILL end. The contractions always end and afterwords you feel that much closer. Around 4:45AM I got my first "pushy" feeling and honestly just thought I had to poo since there wasn't much of that going on in early labor. I breathed through a couple of them because I was afraid to push before being completely dilated. I managed to trick my body into holding out maybe once or twice, after that it took over the pushing - I had zero control of it. So for the record, when someone tells you that your body can push the baby out just fine and not to worry about being tired TRUST THEM because it is VERY true lol. Anyway, this is where I lost control of myself and made the last half hour of labor a living hell. I was forgetting to breathe and nearly hyperventilated - so make a note of that, ALWAYS try to keep your breathing under control. I allowed myself to become fearful so those final contractions were probably much worse than they could have been. Dominick started the "crowning dance" (as I have been calling it) around 5:00 AM this morning and would pop his head into view for a couple ctx then slide back. We danced this little jig for about 18 minutes before he started getting serious. One push got him from being visible to having about 1/2 an inch of his head crowned, one last push got him from just barely crowned to flying half way across my livingroom!!!! I'm only half joking there, hubby turned around for a second to grab a pair of gloves (he was squeamish about handling the slime lol) and before he could even turn around Dominick was out and on the floor staring up at me with his huge doe eyes. And yes, all in one push. I suffered no tears, no abrasions and very minimal bleeding. The UC was a complete sucess and I'm telling ya, I could take on the world after that. For the record, when I say he landed on the floor, I mean he fell an inch or two as my bottom was hovering just over the floor.

Something just isn't right: (Please be sensitive here, but I do need to know if what I did was right. I feel rotten but something was telling me that something just wasn't right)

I saw Dominick laying on the floor and my initial reaction was, Ok he is way too small. (5lbs 8 oz and just about 19 inches long) I shrugged it off and scooped my slimy poo ball off the floor to clean him off a little and rub his back to get him breathing. He had a long string of slime on his mouth that I needed the bulb to get. I didn't actually have to stick it down his mouth or anything but my fingers were sliding off it so I had to grab it with the bulb and pull it out. He immediately started breathing, then crying, then turning the most beautiful shade of pink. I held him and just stared at him for a little while in complete amazement of what just happened. We kept him attached to his placenta until the cord was done pulsing and I think after about 5 minutes of studying him I offered him the breast. Unfortunately it didn't go to well. My nipples would not cooperate and were too flat for him to latch to. Not that he was even really trying to latch, he wouldn't even open his mouth for it. I didn't think too much of it and focused on making sure he was warm and breathing ok - the usual things. About 20 minutes later hubby and I cut his cord and he went to daddy's arms while mommy took the opportunity to walk around for a minute. (labored on my arthritic knees for most of the last 4 hours) He basically fell asleep while daddy was holding him and that was pretty much the last time any of us saw him awake. After passing the placenta which took 4 hours because I was stupidily waiting for another "urge to push," I tried feeding Dominick again. He wanted nothing of it. I couldn't get him to suckle on anything let alone latch to my breast. I offered him my finger to see if he wanted something to at least suck on and he just couldn't care less. Something seemed off about that. I have never known a baby to not have any desire to suck. I stupidly put it in the back of my head and chalked it up to having an eventful day so far. I also let that explain why he was sleeping so much. He didn't so much as startle when he got his first diaper and onsie on. My "doula dog" stuck her nose in his face and he didn't even flinch. We realized then that something was really not right and I made the judgement call of having him checked out. He was WAY too small IMO, way too lethargic, and very not interested in eating. Most of all he was shivering a lot inspite of having a onsie on an being swaddled plus having another blanket around him.

One way trip to NICU please!:

We get to the hospital and spend about an hour answering questions. One thing I have to (sadly lol) admit is that the hospital staff were excited to hear me talk about the UC. The first person that they sent to help me out was a lactation nurse. She was a real sweetheart and tried so hard to help me. Finally she just stopped and said something to the effect of "Can I suggest something - I don't want to worry you but he acts like he has low blood sugar, do you want me to do a heel stick to check it?" I tensed up immediately, that's one of the things I was trying to avoid with having a UC. She ran down some usual "symptoms" and everything started clicking and I consented to the heel stick. The heel stick was just to say if it was high, normal or low and depending on the reading he would need to actually have blood drawn to get an exact number. The stick said it was low. The saddest thing of all was how he didn't react to the heel stick. He was of course asleep again and acted like nothing happened at all - not even a flinch. (another thing that cemented my worries of something being wrong) When they took his blood to send to the lab it was the same story. By the way, the results came in and his blood sugar was at a measly 13. Two doctors came in to talk to me about the options that we had. In my heart I knew he would end up in NICU and I think a part of me felt that was a good thing. We started everything with me pumping as much colostrum as my poor breasts had to offer. He still was not latching. We tried bottle feeding him the pumped colostrum but he had no interest in latching to that nipple either. We tried giving him a small pacifier to see if that would encourage him to start rooting, but it didn't. After another couple hours of alternating trying to get him to latch to the breast or bottle they ended up suggesting an IV of dextrose. Jeremy and I sat there thinking about it. This is something I had done no research on and looking back I now feel foolish. You need to research EVERY possible "what if" scenerio because that one that you don't look up is going to be the one you end up facing (if you face any at all I mean). After 24 hours of no sleep, being beyond scared for my little boy and trying to recover from having just given birth I consented to the IV. Within 2 hours of the IV he started improving. He was staying awake for longer periods of time and just had an alert look to his eyes rather than the sluggish lethargic look that he previously had. Ok, big sigh of relief. Now we have to work on the eating issue. I pumped as much colostrum as I possibly could for them and we again had to sit down and talk options. We could a) wait and see how the dextrose makes him feel b) keep the dextrose drip going and continue offering the breast and bottle or c) give him a feeding tube. We did the breast/bottle thing until about 8:00 when I finally broke down (literally on the floor) crying. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep, the hormones, the seeing my baby so incredibly helpless and me being powerless to help him or just a combination of them all, but I asked them to just go ahead and give him the feeding tube. We left the hospital about 20 minutes after they fed him what I had pumped and he again instantly started improving in different ways. He started to actually hold my finger with his hand which he hadn't done at all since birth. His body temperature started to regulate a little better (he was struggling to maintain a body temp above 95 degrees). So now we wait. He's being weaned back off the dextrose overnight tonight and all we will be waiting on is his rooting reflex. As soon as he starts trying to suckle (the theory is that he just doesn't have the energy) he will be moved into an open crib for 24 hours. Assuming all stays well with him he should be home within a day or two. They haven't oficially diagnosed him with anything, but the one pediatrician said he kind of reminds him of a newborn with IUGR. He doesn't have that, his heartbeat is very strong, his breathing is very good (clear strong longs) and his O2 sats are fantastic. It's just the being so small on top of having low blood sugar and for now showing no interest in eating or suckling at all.

Ok so that is my rollercoaster ride of a birth story. I am very proud of myself for birthing my first child, at home, unassisted and for him having all of the benefits that go with it. It was an experience I will never forget and one that I hope every woman has a chance to obtain. However, I feel like I let him down some where. I feel like I over reacted and allowed myself to be fooled. I just don't know enough about low blood sugar in babies to argue this one. So even though I should be asleep right now (33 hours without sleep) I am going on a research binge trying to find every possible article and study that I can. If anyone has ANY information  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send it to me! I can handle finding out that my son is sitting in the NICU right now if it means that I'll have the ammo I need to walk in there tomorrow morning and have him released. I very much hope I made the right decision but I trust that you ladies will help guide me and keep me strong right now. I'm only going to be home long enough to get a quick cat nap and pump some more before I head back to the hospital. Ugh what a day!!

I moved my UC story here to show some women that even when things don't go as planned, a mother will still know what's best. Dominick is now 14 months old and a very healthy happy child. He spent a total of 1 week (almost to the minute) in the NICU and had to recieve glucose through an IV. The added glucose pushed his sodium levels down, so on day 2 he had to have a sodium bag for a few hours. It wasn't until day 5 in the NICU that he finally started suckling on the bottles. I pumped BM for him every day that he was in there, and continued to do so upon returning home. The nipple shields that were given to me did not work, and after a few months of pumping I went dry. I suffer from breast hypoplasia, so I count my blessings here. It's uncommon for a mother with my condition to produce milk for even that long (if at all).

Women will always find reasons not to UC, and I stand by my opinion that if a woman isn't comfortable then she shouldn't do it. However, in my opinion ALL women need to learn *how* to UC. Life in unpredictable, as is pregnancy. You wont know when you go into labor, and your body isn't going to care that it's a state of emergency outside with 9ft of snow on the ground. Knowing what to do in that sort of situation is the difference between life and death. Even with premies. Premies can be UC'd in situations where there is no other choice (can't get to the hospital, mom doesn't realize she's in labor, etc) and the best thing a mom can do then is have tinfoil on hand! (wrapping the baby in a tinfoil blanket keeps them warmer)

Just know that yes, you can UC if you have to. It's nothing to be afraid of, though it does mean accepting lifes decisions. Things will happen that are out of your control, this is true, but that doesn't mean you need to stop fighting for it. Pray if you're a believer, or just take a moment to meditate on the fact that whatever happens is meant to happen. Life is born and lost all the time, and though it's a hard pill to swallow, some babies just aren't ment to live and even a hospital with a level 3 NICU wont save them. For babies who aren't destined for life on this earth, gifting them with a beautiful stress free birth is the greatest gift of all. If they aren't meant to live, then at least let their few moments of life be filled with love and knowing only the comfort of their mother's arms.