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Looking for a good I expecting too much?

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:17 PM
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Sorry this is kinda a long post but I REALLY need help!

My idea of a good pediatrician is one who: really listens to you and really shows interest and care for your child, doesn't seem to be in a hurry to their next appointment, is willing to work with YOUR parenting methods instead of insisting on their own (like with sleep solutions, vaccinations, etc.), supports breast feeding, and one who you are able to call and actually talk to if you have a question.

The first pediatrician we saw was great, but he was then booked up for months so we saw another one. He was an idiot and told me to breastfeed less and give her formula, etc. (this was when she was a couple weeks old). The third one was ok but then told me they wouldn't be willing to see me any more in that office because I didn't want to get her all her vaccinations.

So, after a bit of research, onto the next office. I try to simply schedule an appointment to talk to the doctor first so I can make sure we mesh. Apparently they don't do that. So I just make an appointment and come in. I thought I was seeing a guy doctor but ended up seeing a girl. She was cool, nice enough, but not really great with advice. When I told her about my sleep issues she just advice letting her cry it out, which I'm not willing to do. She was ok with my wishes on vaccines. I schedule my next appointment with her.

Daughter gets sick, I come in and see another female doctor. This one is a complete idiot as far as I'm concerned. She told me to basically drug my daughter to sleep, to never feed her at night, to never help her go to sleep but just put her down to cry herself to sleep, etc. She also said my daughter has VERY sensitive skin and would be getting rashes (where the hell did this come from? she's never had a rash in her life and she's almost 8 months old). Whatever.

Daughter isn't getting better. We make another appointment and see yet another doctor. This one is awesome, very nice, prescribes her an antibiotic. But once again no advice on the sleep. We give her the antibiotic for 10 days. She develops a bad cough. Take her back to the doctor and see yet ANOTHER doctor (I haven't seen the same once twice in this office). This fourth doctor is very nice but tells me there's nothing wrong with my daughter and also has no advice on the sleep.

Right now my daughter is either waking up very often, going to bed late, or waking up and staying up in the middle of the night (she changes every night). We have a routine with naps and then a bed time routine and her bed time is about 7:30 every night. She usually goes down fine at that time but sometimes she just won't or she will wake up at 10pm or 2 am and then stay up for 2-3 hours. I'm getting about 4 hours of sleep a night and going insane!

I don't want to let her cry it out and I think there may medically be an issue, like silent reflux or something, but I don't want to keep going back to the doctor! I want a pediatrician who I feel like is on my team and will help me work to resolve any issues. How can I find such a person in San Diego?

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:17 PM
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by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 9:19 PM

One short additional note: my insurance provider is Tricare

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 1:38 AM

As far as the sleep issues go, a couple ideas I have from reading this are 1) she may be teething 8 months is about the time for this and 2) she may be over tired. I know it sounds completely backwards but my twins did just what you're describing and what we did was put them to bed an hour earlier, like magic they finally slept through the night again. As far as Silent reflux, I'd think it's unlikely since she's already 8 months and the issues you're having sound like new issues. If she were silently refluxing it would have likely began months ago and would have likely been getting pretty sick with pneumonia's or other respiratory infections. I know I'm a bit behind in posting so I'm hoping you've found a solution to your problems already, if not I hope I've been a bit of help. 

by on Jun. 6, 2010 at 12:51 AM

i have tricare as well.. we go to dr. friedman at childrens primary care in el cajon.. its on chase right at the bottom of avacado. they are really good. i took my daughter in to see her (she is my sons dr too) for her 1 month apt and i needed some stuff for my son filled out too for wic and we didnt have an apt for him. well i asked her if she could do it too since we were already there and she went and told the nurse to get his file and add him as a patient and then did his vitals and such for the form right then and there. she is really great. she listens to us and doesnt push. she is very patient and kind... you can tell she loves kids. i would highly recommend her. the number there is 619-442-2560. that to the main desk. i have had her for 3.5 years now. really great dr.

by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:35 AM

We love our doctor at the Scripps Carmel Valley location.  Her name is Dr. Michelle Sanford.  Additionally, Dr. Gould in the office is also great.  They work as a team so if one is out on vacation, the other person covers.  Dr. S. really listens to what you want to do as a parent and works with you to find the right balance between lifestyle and medical advice.  Good luck! 

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