Im venting because I can't really vent to anyone else. The other day, we went to a friends house who has a baby girl (few months old), and I held her for the first time. A friend of mine just found out she is pregger and announced it Christmas Eve. I went to a baby shower today...they are having a girl....and to top it all off....I find out my SIL is pregger with their 2nd child...a girl. My dad (who doesn't know) has a box with some stuff in a Pampers diaper box....it is everywhere and the more I see it...the more I hurt inside. It feels like a dagger in the chest everytime. We just started trying, working on the diet and vitamins to help both of us so I know the likelyhood of me being pregger is low but I feel like I have been left in the dark and everyone is rubbing it in. I know they aren't but its just the feeling. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for everyone. I am especially happy for my SIL. I was shocked but I broke some, and I am trying not to break down because of the news. I know God will provide for me when the time is right. I didn't want to wait to have another one this long, but looking back, God knew I wouldn't be able to have one and handle everything that we have gone through. I have always wanted 2 children...a boy and a girl...I have my boy and I still want my girl.