Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When you introduce your stepchildren how do you introduce them?

Posted by on Nov. 10, 2007 at 9:22 AM
  • 12 Replies
  • 2506 Total Views
Tell about how you do introduce them to someone. When you introduce them to someone how does it effect your relationship with your stepson or stepdaughter. When you introduce them to someone do you feel uncomfortable in any way doing this?
by on Nov. 10, 2007 at 9:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
InkedMommie2B08
by New Member on Nov. 10, 2007 at 9:29 AM
I am sure this is a topic that many SP don't even think about ! ! I myself am a SM....I guess our situation is a bit diff. because my SD has been with us for the past 4 years. So when I introduce her she is my DAUGHTER ! ! ! She calls me by my first name but when she introduces me to her friends, teachers, etc. I am her MOM.  Growing up my SD never introduced me as his SD guess it kept me from hurt feelings as a child.
Laurajk
by on Nov. 11, 2007 at 11:30 AM
We are a blended family so this goes both ways but it is ackward for me.  MY dh always says "my daughter" referring to mine but when it comes to his... I always say step- ... b/c she is so aweful I dont want people think that I raised a child to be so rude.  Recently she has started to call me "mom" with my daughter and that is fine ( like she will say, "mom said we are having pizza for dinner" or "tell mom what happened today...")  but my daughter NEVER had a father so my dh doesnt have to feel like he is trying to interfere with anyone.  My SD has a mother and her mother would NOT like me saying I was her mother. 
Mpd19sWife
by New Member on Nov. 11, 2007 at 3:17 PM
I introduce them as my step daughter and stepson. They introduce me as their stepmom. If anyone says oh is that your mom or is that your son (daughter) we all just say yes - and don't correct them on that. Lol. The kids sometimes call me Jenny and sometimes mom - it depends on their moods.
MomsLuznIT
by New Member on Nov. 16, 2007 at 3:12 PM
I introduce them as my daughters. We are a blended family of 5 (mine, his, ours). Sometimes ppl may ask, but usually not. If they want more info, I say I'm their stepmom. I never liked to label them as "step."
ctistle
by New Member on Nov. 19, 2007 at 1:30 PM
I  have ywo my son is 13 and my daughter is 10.I stared with them when they were 3 and 5 so I have been there for 8 years.I introduce them as my children.I love them like they are mine and treat them as I would my birth child.The down fall to this is that my son has always called me by my first name once in a while slipping saying mom but my daugher often calls me mom but they were told by their birth mother they are not to call me mom.That she the mother and noone else.Seems to me and we have always said what they feel is right for them and whats in their heart is what matters.I have never said to the children you must call me mom but they have and get yelled at from their birth mom for it.Why is it so hard for them to let their children love someone else along with them .I am not trying to steal her children from her or steal their affections  just add love to their lives.Sorry got on a rant on it but I try not to let it get to me and just keep calling them my son and daughter and keep loving them.
garfield23
by on Dec. 5, 2007 at 6:41 PM

Quoting Laurajk:

We are a blended family so this goes both ways but it is ackward for me.  MY dh always says "my daughter" referring to mine but when it comes to his... I always say step- ... b/c she is so aweful I dont want people think that I raised a child to be so rude.  Recently she has started to call me "mom" with my daughter and that is fine ( like she will say, "mom said we are having pizza for dinner" or "tell mom what happened today...")  but my daughter NEVER had a father so my dh doesnt have to feel like he is trying to interfere with anyone.  My SD has a mother and her mother would NOT like me saying I was her mother. 
I am NOT married.  I live with my boyfriend (of 4 years).  I have 2 children of my own and he has one of his own.  I have my children all the time (deadbeat dads - but that's another story) and we get his daughter every other weekend.
In the past,  I have tried VERY hard to get along with this girl.  But as far as her mother's concern, no such luck.  And seeing that we only get her every OTHER weekend (usually consists of one to two days and she ALWAYS has something to do, like karate class, etc.) it's hard to really talk to her or do anything with her. 
Like you,  because of her "mean and spoiled" reputation (and her mother's),  I never introduce as my stepdaughter,  I  ALWAYS  introduce her as "my boyfriend's daughter".  Call me inconsiderate and selfish,  but I always introduce my kids as "MYkids" not "ours".  I figure she already has a "mom" she doesn't need another.  And she never calls me "mom" - she calls me by my nickname,  which is fine by me.
calicocat87
by New Member on Dec. 5, 2007 at 7:33 PM

My children are both my step children..but I have been raising them with their dad for the last almost 13 years.  (BM is out of their lives more than in...with phone calls once every couple months... we don't live in the same town now, but when we did, she would make dates with them and then stand them up, if she has a disagreement with one of them, she calls them a spoiled brat, and to top it all off, our son just had his 18th bday and didn't get a card) Any way...I introduce them to others as my kids, and they intoduce me as "my mom"  it keeps things uncomplicated that way, I think.  However, the kids have been forbidden by thier BM to call me "mom."  So they call me by name for the most part.  SD called me mom once and BM heard it and had a coniption.
Perrysangel
by on Dec. 5, 2007 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I have 2 step-daughters who are in their 20's. I just recently re-married last year so I didn't know these girls when they were younger.They call me by my name "Susan" But when they introduce me to their friends they say, "This is my step-mom or this is my dad's wife" It doesn't bother me because when I met them I told them I want to be a good friend to them & that I would never try & take the place of their real mom. It works..... As far as when my 3 boys were younger, my ex re-married, their step-mom kept after them to call her "mom' I wouldn't allow it, sorry, those are my kids & that's the way it is. I know some might disagree but, you would have had to know my reasons why.( My boys were small, ages 3, 6, & 9 ) they, of course are all older, 32, 29, & 26 & they have told me they don't regret not calling her mom, because as one said, "You're our only mom"
nwelcome
by New Member on May. 16, 2008 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Hello Ladies,
I am 26 and have been married to my husband for about a year and a half.  He has 2 boys (7&10) and 1 girl (9) from his previous marriage, I have 1 boy (6) from a prior relationship and together we have 1 boy (8 mos).  If someone asks "are they all yours?" I say yes proudly.  The last time the oldest then said "NO!".  I'm not sure if I was upset, hurt, or embarressed but I will simply say "NO" from now on.  I mean, I grew up with the understanding that if you marry a man with kids you have to accept the whole package and that to me meant accepting them as your own.  Would I be wrong if I just said "No, these 2 are mine"?

Nichole (Ameen)

bizebe
Report
Tired!
Yesterday at 10:56 PM
by New Member on Apr. 1, 2012 at 11:19 PM

For me 7 yrs ago going into my 2nd marriage I have to say I had best ententions of wanting all of us to be one big happy family and at first for first few years referred to my  4 stepchildren as my own ,including my 2 ,but after years past and feeling like all my step kids were stand offish with me even after there dad & I had long been married for awhile. I had changed I dont know if you could say I was hurt or offended but it got to where I didnt feel comfortable anymore to refer to them as my children so I would tell ppl there my step children.  I think it was more of me feeling not accepted by his children ,cause there loyality was to there mom which I understand. I just think every family is different and what may be right for one family may not be right for another.  Lot of times couples go into relationships new marriages with high expectations only to realize that what you hope for and want your family to be may not turn out like that.,so when my husband & I married I told his 3 girls that I would not take there moms place and would rather just be a friend to them if they need someone to talk to and I try to be nice to them when I see them and make big dinners having them over for holidays , but thats as far as our relationship goes. Its not same bond I have with my own 2 children .  Deep down I think I would like it to be ,but in reality its not. I think lot of reason is cause I met there dad when they were teenagers and never really felt like I had chance to get to know them !

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)