See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I am 24 years old....engaged to a 33 year old that has three children. 11 yr old girl, 8 yr old boy, and 6 yr old girl. I have a son from my first marriage that is 3yr old and a 9 month old daughter with my fiance. Here are the major issues: First they treat my daughter as one of their own but always treating my son as if he does not exist or they are better than him... all because he is not their real or half brother. I have had many discussions with them but nothing seems to work. Most of the time not all the time does their father back me up, and asking him to does not always work. He is three and does not understand why they push him away or ignore him. Sometimes their excuse is that he is annoying and always rough housing. Yes all siblings get annoyed with their younger ones but you can tell this is more. This is the lack of carring or love for him since he is not their real brother. The second part.....
I love his three children but at the same time the thought of doing this for the rest of my life is frightening. They have not been in instilled with respect towards adults at all. They have no problem back talking, lying, or sitting there not flinching when being spoken to even after telling them something a million times. Their father after numerous times of me telling him he needed to stick to his punishments instead of giving in still wants to play the good guy. The two girls are not as much as a problem as the son. I simply explained at one point that wether i am your step mother yet or not i am still the adult with or with out your father being home and you are to listen to adults. Not to mentioon their mother lies to them about their father so inturn they come here and scream at me when their father is not here that he is a lier and and thats all he does. The relentless fighting with them or punishing them with taking away privileges or sending to their room with no tv or games or toys is not working. They have no problem screaming at me and lying about what they just did infront of me. Their lack of respect for any adult not only me is completely unbelievable. I can only imagine what would have happened to me if i acted like this as a kid.
Example of disrespect: My fiance makes good money but not like we are rich, but when it comes to holidays and presents we always make sure they always have a good easter and christmas and birthdays, they have no problem pointing out that they have toys that cost way more and the other ones are junk,...or no problem opening christmas presents looking you right in the eye and telling you they hate it and throwing it off to the side. Thrashing their room with the toys they dont like is a every week occurance. Worst part of this this happens in one weekend. We only have them every other weekend and one day a week. So this is what we have to look forward to. They push everyone over and even friends that spend the night, they ignore my three year old as if he has a horrible disease, and they have no respect for anything unless it cost three hundred dollars. I dont know what to do and the stress of it all is pushing me over the edge. It kills me to see my own son treated like that. Please any advice would be more the welcoming. Ive tried everything i can imagine besides jsut walking out to get it through to them and him, but yet i dont think i could ever bring my self to do that becasue of the love i do have for them and their father