I need help

[momof3nvegas]

My daughter is 9 and she has depression in the worst way.. I love her and it is killing me to see her like this. She is even in a partial hospitalization program right now, but to be honest it seems to be makeing it worse.

i dont want to send her to her father because well he cant even take care of hisself much less an adhd, depressed child. I am hurting so badly and I HAVE HUGE PROBLEMS TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS THAT I CANT EVEN GET THE WORDS TO COME OUT OF MY HEAD. IT IS LIKE MY HEART IS BREAKING AND I CANNOT FIX IT.

MY HUSBAND TRIES TO BE HELPFUL, AND HE CARES HE REALLY DOES BUT I CANT GET MY FEELINGS OUT WHERE THEY NEED TO BE, I ALSO DONT KNOW HOW TO HELP MY DAUGHTER ANYMORE. I HURT SO BADLY BECAUSE SHE IS HURTING AND I CANT FIX IT. DO  YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS ON WHAT TO DO?  I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER DAUGHTER AND A SON. BUT THEY ARE NOT HAVING ANY PROBLEMS AND I TREAT THEM ALL THE SAME WAY. WHAT  DO I DO?

[margaretandem]

This sounds like a lot for you to handle.  You could definitely benefit from counseling for yourself.  If you have the support and can be centered, then it will be a lot easier for you to help your daughter and treat all your children fairly, as well as communicate with your husband.  If you don't feel your daughter's current treatment is working, talk to the providers there about your concerns and what you would like to see different or consider alternate options.  It seems like you are aware of the problems and even, to some extent, of the solutions.  It's just the putting that into practice, which will involve a lot of patience, tolerance, willpower, and endurance - being patient with all of your kids, treating your kids as the individuals they are and not singling anyone out or making one seem more special (good or bad) than the others, finding positive ways for you to cope and de-stress, believing that you have the ability to deal with this even though it is difficult.  Please, do consider counseling for yourself to deal with this.  And address your concerns with your daughter's counselor so that they can discuss with you ways that you can support her.  Thank you for sharing and keep us updated.  I wish you well with this.

Margaret Andem, LCSW
http://www.andemtherapy.com
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http://www.africanconexion.com