Do you have questions about how others have made their open adoption work sucessfully? Feel free to post them here.
Quoting Mrs.mommywhite3:THIS GROUP. Ha ha. No, really, here's some good info at http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm
whats a good web site to learn about open adoption? The costs, laws, etc.?
thanks
Openness in Adoption
Factsheet for Families
| Author(s): Child Welfare Information Gateway |
| Year Published: 2003 |
What is open adoption?
Open, or fully disclosed, adoptions allow adoptive parents, and often the adopted child, to interact directly with birth parents. Family members interact in ways that feel most comfortable to them. Communication may include letters, e-mails, telephone calls, or visits. The frequency of contact is negotiated and can range from every few years to several times a month or more. Contact often changes as a child grows and has more questions about his or her adoption or as families' needs change. It is important to note that even in an open adoption, the legal relationship between a birth parent and child is severed. The adoptive parents are the legal parents of an adopted child.
The goals of open adoption are:
- To minimize the child's loss of relationships.
- To maintain and celebrate the adopted child's connections with all the important people in his or her life.
- To allow the child to resolve losses with truth, rather than the fantasy adopted children often create when no information or contact with their birth family is available.
Is open adoption right for our family?
Open adoption is just one of several openness options available to families, ranging from confidential, to semi-open (or mediated), to fully open adoption. In semi-open or mediated adoptions, contact between birth and adoptive families is made through a mediator (e.g., an agency caseworker or attorney) rather than directly. In confidential adoptions no contact takes place and no identifying information is exchanged.
Making an open adoption work requires flexibility and a commitment to ongoing relationships, despite their ups and downs. While this type of adoption is not right for every family, open adoption can work well if everyone wants it and if there is good communication, flexibility, commitment to the process, respect for all parties involved, and commitment to the child's needs above all.
There are many resources available to help you determine what level of openness might be best for your family. The chart included with this factsheet may help you consider some pros and cons of open adoptions. You can also:
EXPLORE THE INTERNET. Several Web sites provide research and issues to consider in open adoption:
- American Association of Open Adoption Agencies helps families find agencies practicing open adoption. Adoptees on their mailing list respond to the question, "What do you wish your adoptive parents had known?"
- Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project provides information on a longitudinal study of openness in adoption since 1985. The most recent wave included a total of 720 individuals: both parents in 190 adoptive families, at least one adopted child in 171 of the families, and 169 birth mothers. This study was the source of much of the research for this factsheet and the bulletin for professionals.
- Child Welfare Information Gateway—Postadoption Contact Agreements Between Birth and Adoptive Families1 provides laws for each State on open adoption.
- Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support offers open adoption resources for professionals and support for adoptive and birth parents considering open adoption.
READ. Several recent books about open adoption may be helpful:
- Children of Open Adoption by Patricia Martinez Dorner and Kathleen Silber (1997, Independent Adoption Press). The topics in this book include the essential "ingredients" for successful open adoption and communication tips for talking about open adoption with children of all ages.
- How to Open an Adoption by Patricia Martinez Dorner (1998, R-Squared Press). This book gives guidance to adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoption professionals in how to navigate more inclusive relationships.
- Lifegivers: Framing the Birth Parent Experience in Open Adoption by James L. Gritter (2000, CWLA Press). This book examines the ways birth parents are marginalized. The author makes the point that adopted children are best served when birth parents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that birth parents remain in children's lives.
- The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia (1993, HarperPerennial). This complete guide for adoptive and birth parents touches on almost every aspect of open adoption.
- The Spirit of Open Adoption by Jim Gritter (1997, CWLA Press). This book gives a realistic look at the joys and pains of open adoption for birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents.
- What is Open Adoption? by Brenda Romanchik (1999, R-Squared Press). Written from the perspective of a birth mother in an open adoption, this pocket guide provides concise information and resources.
Abstracts of these books are available through the Information Gateway Library Search.
TALK WITH A COUNSELOR OR THERAPIST WITH KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE IN OPEN ADOPTION. Child Welfare Information Gateway has a tip sheet on selecting and working with an adoption therapist who is informed about issues of adoption. This factsheet describes the types of mental health professionals available and provides guidelines for choosing the best resource for your family.
TALK WITH OTHER PARENTS. The National Foster Care & Adoption Directory has lists of foster and adoptive parent support groups in each State. Because each parent group will have its own focus, you might want to ask how many families attending the group are in open adoptions.
What questions should our family consider in open adoption?
In open adoptions, families need to consider when and how much to tell a child about his or her birth family, and then if and how to involve him or her in that relationship. An adoption professional can help you address some of these issues. Some of the questions you may want to consider include:
- At what age should a child be included in contact with his or her birth family?
- What happens if one party decides to break off all contact?
- What will the birth parents' role be in the child's life?
- How will your child explain his or her relationship with birth relatives to his or her peers?
- How will you handle other adopted siblings who have different levels of openness in their adoptions?
Summary
No one level of openness in adoption is best for everyone, and each adoption changes over time. Adoptees from all kinds of adoptions, from confidential to fully open, can be emotionally healthy. Using the resources listed on this factsheet, as well as the following tables, you can decide what level of openness is best for your family.
Table of pros of each type of adoption for the involved parties
Table of cons of each type of adoption for the involved parties
1 "Cooperative adoption" or "adoption with contact" refer to arrangements that allow some kind of contact between adoptive families and members of the adopted child's birth family after the adoption has been finalized. (back)
This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway
Feel the love.
Adopt.
November is National adoption month.
D.
Quoting dannigirl0814:Thank you for all of that information and thank you for placing your son. THANK YOU EVEN MORE for being such an open adoption advocate.
I placed in 2003 & had no idea what open adoption was when I started the adoption process. However the agency I placed with has great cousleing and info youmay be able to find it on their site. The Children's Home of Pittsburgh, they have been around FOREVER & were the 1st agency in the area to offer an open adoption to Birthparents. Plus as a birthmom you may feel free to ask me any questions you may have. I have an extremely open adoption & would love to answer any questions you may have from my point of view & if I can't I will pass them on to T. ( my son's adoptive mom)
D.
Love love? Support Adoption?
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Renee
Quoting wishtoadopt:
alexamom......Thank you so much for the information. I will be referring back often. We are starting the process with a mom who is du 5-24-08. I have lots of questions. Thanks again.
Renee
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Ok So my question is more to birth mothers.. I am 23 already have one crazy, loveable 3 year old. I just found out that I am pregnant with #2. So my first question would be have any others had an other child before placin one up for Adoption? and if so did you tell your other child/ern?
secondly how soon should i get in touch with an agancy?
I am not a birthmom, but my daughters other mom has an older boy. They are 15 months apart. When she got pregnant again with Lila, she didn't have any support, she was 18.
We have a wonderful open adoption plan. We see them every-other week. The kids love to be with each other. It's so amazing how much they are alike.
I just wanted to let you know.
Jane
Jane, thank you so much for sharing that. I LOVE hearing about all that LOVE!!!!!
Quoting jle1974:
I am not a birthmom, but my daughters other mom has an older boy. They are 15 months apart. When she got pregnant again with Lila, she didn't have any support, she was 18.
We have a wonderful open adoption plan. We see them every-other week. The kids love to be with each other. It's so amazing how much they are alike.
I just wanted to let you know.
Jane
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- alexmomma2007
on Sep. 30, 2007 at 10:56 PM