the way im treated cuz i have a baby outta wedlock
i get treated differant and disowned by some of my family members because im not married to my sons dad its not that i dont love him cuz i do i just wish people could getover me not being married and i hate when people assume that u have a baby ur married im not and theres alot of people out there who arent married and have beautiful kids.
Posted by
on Mar. 18, 2007 at 6:39 PM
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by
on Mar. 18, 2007 at 7:05 PM
my family was really supportive of me not getting married to chloe's sperm doner... because, well, he was a prick. people are all the time assuming the guy i am with is her dad and we're married. i don't really have a problem with that so much though. we laugh about it all the time.
by
New Member
on Mar. 20, 2007 at 3:18 PM
I don't see why we mothers are the ones who get all the looks and comments. No one ever asks my boyfriend if he is married or not or how long he has been married just because he has a child. It is such a double standard and one that we as women shouldn't have to take on anymore.
When ever anyone asks you questions that you don't want to answer just ask them, "Why do you want to know?" That will generally stop them in their tracks. Or "That is a private and personal matter." Once I have said this to people they don't know how to respond or what to say.
When ever anyone asks you questions that you don't want to answer just ask them, "Why do you want to know?" That will generally stop them in their tracks. Or "That is a private and personal matter." Once I have said this to people they don't know how to respond or what to say.
by
on Mar. 20, 2007 at 6:58 PM
Quoting RosaMae:This is very much my situation with my first born
my family was really supportive of me not getting married to chloe's sperm doner... because, well, he was a prick. people are all the time assuming the guy i am with is her dad and we're married. i don't really have a problem with that so much though. we laugh about it all the time.
by
on Mar. 21, 2007 at 11:19 AM
Quoting RosaMae:
my family was really supportive of me not getting married to chloe's sperm doner... because, well, he was a prick. people are all the time assuming the guy i am with is her dad and we're married. i don't really have a problem with that so much though. we laugh about it all the time.
Same here. My daughter's father's mother kept trying to talk me into marrying him before she was born. I was all set. Shortly after she was born, I just knew that things weren't going to work out between he & I. Surely enough, I left him when she was 3 months old.
He will always be in my life, as he is a part of my daughter's life, but I am ok with that. I am just glad I made the right choice so we didn't end up having to go through a divorce!
by
New Member
on Mar. 21, 2007 at 1:45 PM
girl, i know how you feel. i have 4 children with the same man and we've been together for 10 years. just cause you have a paper that says you now have his last name doesn't make it holly or doesn't make you a family. times have changed and so has situations. this isn't the 1950's. but people are just plain stupid!!!!! that's all i can say. bet cha that they have plenty of bad things in their closet.
by
New Member
on Mar. 22, 2007 at 5:57 PM
First off sorry if Im doing this wrong Im new here to posting so I hope I did this right :).
I've lived with my BF going on 6 yrs now. At first he wanted to get married and I wanted to wait until my oldest son started going to school. I figured I wanted to make sure its what we both wanted and not just because of the baby. Well as is normal with couples we have had several "disagreements" lol along the way and we have gone back and forth from wanting to get married to not and back to wanting to again. At one point we went as far as calling each other husband & wife whenever we were out. It was a natural thing as even though we didn't have the pc of paper saying we were we felt it in our hearts. At least thats how he felt at the time. We recently moved back to his home state where his family is located. Lets just say I didn't get the reception I expected. I never really had a problem with the way the relationship was or felt the need to define it until we moved. All of a sudden my children were treated differently. Some family members referred to me as his wife others as his girlfriend and others just flat out said I don't know what to call you. I was thinking how about by my first name??? lol I mean why does it matter? We are together , Mom & Dad with their 2 children working, paying the bills, going to drs appts just like everyone else that has that little pc of paper so whats the big deal. All that didn't bother me until once during one of our "disagreements" he asked me to stop calling him my husband we weren't married. He apologized the next day but after that little episode I started questioning if maybe there was a difference??? I'm still trying to figure that out. And sad to say, it becomes a bit of a touchy subject whenever someone asks for example at school or at the drs office. Up until then I never really let it bother me.
I've lived with my BF going on 6 yrs now. At first he wanted to get married and I wanted to wait until my oldest son started going to school. I figured I wanted to make sure its what we both wanted and not just because of the baby. Well as is normal with couples we have had several "disagreements" lol along the way and we have gone back and forth from wanting to get married to not and back to wanting to again. At one point we went as far as calling each other husband & wife whenever we were out. It was a natural thing as even though we didn't have the pc of paper saying we were we felt it in our hearts. At least thats how he felt at the time. We recently moved back to his home state where his family is located. Lets just say I didn't get the reception I expected. I never really had a problem with the way the relationship was or felt the need to define it until we moved. All of a sudden my children were treated differently. Some family members referred to me as his wife others as his girlfriend and others just flat out said I don't know what to call you. I was thinking how about by my first name??? lol I mean why does it matter? We are together , Mom & Dad with their 2 children working, paying the bills, going to drs appts just like everyone else that has that little pc of paper so whats the big deal. All that didn't bother me until once during one of our "disagreements" he asked me to stop calling him my husband we weren't married. He apologized the next day but after that little episode I started questioning if maybe there was a difference??? I'm still trying to figure that out. And sad to say, it becomes a bit of a touchy subject whenever someone asks for example at school or at the drs office. Up until then I never really let it bother me.
by
New Member
on Mar. 22, 2007 at 7:09 PM
I know what you mean. Especially the church I used to attend. But I dont see why I need to be married to be happy. Its just a piece of paper and I dont need that to tell me how I feel about my fiance. I mean I call him my hubby all the time and we act like we are married. He is so great and he cant wait to be a daddy. People ask me why I am giving my son his daddys last name when we arent married. And it makes me made because 1. Its my decision and 2. Logan is his son. Why wouldnt I give my son his daddys last name. I eventually wanna get married and I know that Stephen and I are gonna be together and then our family will have the same last name but thats not until I am ready. People just need to keep their noses out of everyones business.
by
Member
on Mar. 24, 2007 at 4:54 PM
Quoting LogansMommy0407:AT THE HOSPITAL.. the night after our daughter was born, a couple of my aunts & my Grandmother started this huge argument about me givingmy daughter her Dads last name. It was AWFUL! I had been cut open from one side to the other (c-section), I was jacked up on medicine, and laying in a hospital bed and they wanted to pick a fight! I couldda killed them! I kept saying "She is Chad's daughter, not my Dads! Thats stupid! Why would I do that!?!" It went on forever... later, my Grandmother apologized, (another one of my Aunts talked to her about it, and probably told her she was wrong..lol) and come to find out, my Dad called his sister and went off on her, so she called and apologized too. The other Aunt that was in on it never did... whaty a jerk.
I know what you mean. Especially the church I used to attend. But I dont see why I need to be married to be happy. Its just a piece of paper and I dont need that to tell me how I feel about my fiance. I mean I call him my hubby all the time and we act like we are married. He is so great and he cant wait to be a daddy. People ask me why I am giving my son his daddys last name when we arent married. And it makes me made because 1. Its my decision and 2. Logan is his son. Why wouldnt I give my son his daddys last name. I eventually wanna get married and I know that Stephen and I are gonna be together and then our family will have the same last name but thats not until I am ready. People just need to keep their noses out of everyones business.
There was more drama that night too... it was a completely crappy day... Am I the only one who has drama in a recovery room?? lol
As for the original post, I could go on all day about some of my family members and how they acted.... but... lets just say they know now that its probably a good idea to keep it to themselves! You do what's best for you. And if they can't respect that, then scr*w 'em!
by
Member
on Mar. 24, 2007 at 11:18 PM
Dont feel too bad, my family ruined my baby shower.. pretty much said they hope me and the baby die in labor.. after saying they hope my mom and sister die in a plane crash. You're not the only one with psycho relatives. lol
by
Member
on Mar. 25, 2007 at 4:06 AM
Quoting Atarismommy:Holy Cow!!!
Dont feel too bad, my family ruined my baby shower.. pretty much said they hope me and the baby die in labor.. after saying they hope my mom and sister die in a plane crash. You're not the only one with psycho relatives. lol
To Orig. Poster; See honey... it could be worse.
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- ilovemyson1312
on Mar. 18, 2007 at 6:39 PM