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Am I wrong??

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 9:13 AM
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My fience and  I have been fighting so much about me talking to one of my good friends.  Yes, that friend happens to be a guy, however, he lives in OH and I live in GA, plus I have been friends with him for 7 years.  My fience knew that I was friends with him since the very beginning and only now does he have a problem with it.  He pretty much told me that I have to end my friendship with him or else he didn't want to be with me.  He said that this is not high school any more and that engaged/married people don't talk to the opposite sex . Now, my fience does have an ex-wife that did cheat on him so I sort of see how that could play a part in all of this, but I am not her.  I have never giving him any reason not to trust me, plus I just had his baby and I take care of his other two from his last marriage.  He believes that a guy and a girl can't just be friends.  He said that no matter what all the guy is trying to do is get tin the girls pants!  That is so not true though I have been friends with this guy for 7 years, we never dated, kissed or anything like that.  We are just friends!!!!  Am I wrong to want to contiune that friendship?

by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 9:13 AM
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Replies (1-4):
lovealyssa18
by New Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 9:33 AM

I don't think you are wrong.  He has been your friend for a long time now.  I can see why he would feel threatened by the friendship, especially if he was cheated on but that doesn't make it right for him to tell you to stop talking to him or give you that ultimatum.  I do believe a guy and a girl can be just friends, its difficult for a man to understand because of their one track mind but it takes two people and they have to trust us.  I've been friends with a guy for 9 years and also never did anything with him, i have another guy friend who i've been friends with going on 3 years.  I think its maybe just jealousy and it will take him some time to get use to but have a serious talk and try to understand why it bothers him and meet some where in the middle.  Good Luck!  

LandonsMom5
by Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 12:05 PM

I think this depends on each different relationship. Me and my SO are not allowd to have friends of the opposite sex because we don't want each other having them. Yes, it may sound immature or strange, but I am very jealous and have trust issues, and so does he, and we will never cheat on each other, but we also believe that the things discussed between a man and a woman we should be discussing them, not with the opposite sex. Of course, he is the only guy I have dated that I have been this way with. It would hurt my feelings really bad if he had a close friendship with another woman besides me. I would feel intimidated.

hiddenpoet
by on Jul. 26, 2007 at 2:17 AM
no it isn't wrong to continue your friendship. though it concerns me that your boyfriend is telling you what you have to do like that.. isolation is the first tool of an abuser.
MarleysMommy07
by New Member on Jul. 26, 2007 at 2:47 AM
Ummm....are you engaged to my ex-husband?? LOL Probably not, but he sounds just like this...he lives in Savannah, GA...anyways, he was the same way...notice how we are divorced?? It shouldn't be such a big deal for you to remain friends with this guy, and I hate to say this, but your fiance isn't going to get any less demanding of you or quit telling you who you can and can't talk to. He sounds like my ex and that's exactly why he is that, just be careful as to not let him make you lose all your friends, they're important to have in your life. He shouldn't feel threatened, especially since he lives so far away from you. I'd try to argue my point and not give up your longtime friend, hopefully he'll stop trying to tell you who you can talk to.
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