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Silly questions, maybe...

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2007 at 4:28 PM
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Why don't more people view living together as the same commitment as marriage?

Why even be *in* a cohabiting relationship if you've got contingency plans...*in case* it doesn't work out???

Why put yourself through the stress of it all?  Keeping score to see if he's worthy...blah blah blah...

If you're gonna live together, I firmly believe you've gotta love him ALL THE WAY, or NOT AT ALL.

**sniff**
by on Mar. 28, 2007 at 4:28 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Zshnette
by Member on Mar. 29, 2007 at 1:48 AM
i think most people see it as the next step in the relationship towards marriage. and this step makes or breaks a relationship. you dont really know someone untill you live with them.
preciouschild
by on Mar. 29, 2007 at 9:29 AM
I kinda think of us as married because we have been together 8 years.But I do think of what if.Especially now with him threating to leave.I don't want to be missed up if he does leave.
momofthree23
by New Member on Apr. 2, 2007 at 12:22 PM
" Shit or get off the pot" This is what my parents i.e. dad and stepmom, told me when i said we weren't getting married anytime soon.  HELLO?  I'm a GROWN UP.  I decide who and when I get married.  It's not like they are paying for it, or anything.  i want a wedding that ican have my girls be flower girls, my son, the ringbearer and so on.  i don't want to get married at the courthouse like my dad and step mom.  according to my dad, i don't deserve a church wedding, because i di everything backwards, he says.  i say, god forgives and he still loves me no matter what.  as long there is trust and faith in a relationship, it should be ok. but that's just MY opinion  :)
luckymama84
by on Apr. 2, 2007 at 2:33 PM
Maybe Im naive but I think they are the same. We share our lives, money, responsibilties, everything. I dont see how getting married will change how we feel about eachother or our commitment to eachother. My parents dont think we are as commited to eachother as other people who are married. My mother doesnt think he wants to marry me or ever will. When we moved in together a few months before our son was born, my mother started in. I asked if she perfered the baby and I stay with her instead and my BF not be invloved or responsible, which was never an option just a dig at her. I wish she could accept our relationship and see we are just as in love and just as commited as anyone who has a liscense.
Codysmom2106
by on Apr. 2, 2007 at 7:47 PM

My boyfriend and I moved in together when I was 16 and he was 17. We have been together ever since. We had our son in February of last year. We are not married and probably won't ever get married but honestly, I don't think it matters. We tell people this is my husband or this is my wife, we've been together for 10 years, I don't think a piece of paper and a party is going make us love each other any more.  We share our lives together and that's how it should be.

OrchidStar
by New Member on Apr. 2, 2007 at 11:05 PM
yeah Marriage would be nice. but some people like myself don't need a piece of paper to tell us who we love. we love each other and thats enough. not to mention for us it's a big issue of money and waiting. trying to settle debts and save money to have a wedding. sure it'd be cheaper to elope at the court house, but the memory of a marriage is worth the money and worth waiting for it.
gavinraulsmommy
by Member on Apr. 3, 2007 at 12:05 PM
I'm so thankful that our families are understanding. My mom had two very bad marriages, and is thrilled that I don't want to get married. His family calls me his wife anyway, his sister calls me "sissy-in-law", his son tells everyone that I am his stepmom. But when it comes to the rest of the world, I think most people just haven't caught up with the times. Too many people are stuck in that day when you lived with your parents until you got married at a young age wearing your pretty little white dress and lost your virginity on your wedding night and your husband carried you over the threshold of your new home where you lived the rest of your life in dull monotony because you were in such a hurry to get married so that you could move out of your parents' house that you just found the first guy who seemed cool and now you realize that you have nothing in common with them. I pay these people no mind, all marriage is really is a piece of paper and a ring. Sometimes I think that I would like to have the ceremony of a wedding, but I just figure sometime a few years from now we'll just have a big huge anniversary celebration where I will get to dress up nice and pretty and we'll make all of our family come down and we'll get up in front of all those people and tell each other how much we love each other and promise to be together forever. Everyone thinks that everyone else's lifestyle is wrong, but who are we to judge anyone else?
MelissaDamian9
by New Member on Apr. 3, 2007 at 7:29 PM
I agree me and my "boyfriend" I consider him my DH, have been through alot, and when we are with his family they consider me his wife! So do we, I dont want some BIG wedding to show that I love him, he already knows that! I know he loves me too, we are going to have 2 beautiful sons, we have lived together almost 2 years now and we just cant be away from each other, why get married for a piece of paper?! We are going to go to the court house get it done have a party at his dads, and MAYBE we will have a small wedding, but since niether of us are religious we are not big on the whole church thing either! We will just have to see what happens! Sorry so long
wades_mama
by on Apr. 5, 2007 at 10:48 PM
Let's see a marriage license in most states runs less then $50, while in most states a divorce usually starts at about $500 (I think), a lot of states require counseling, separation periods etc. They let just about any moron get married but once you have married a moron they hassle you when you find out how much of a moron they REALLY are and realize the situation ain't where you need to be. The last I heard about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Seems to me that the government's the one reaping the most benefit from marriages. As for contingency plans I think every parent married or unmarried should have some kind of plan in place to cover their children, cuz NONE of us is guaranteed to be around tomorrow.
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