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Feel free to introduce yourselves and get settled in. My name is Ayla I am 37 years old and have 3 children ages 15, 13, and 3 years. As you may notice, there's a BIG gap in their ages. That's due to secondary infertility. I experienced my first ectopic pregnancy in 1996....it was horrible. I had no idea what was going on in my body and the doctors were criminally clueless. I was admitted to the hospital at the last minute, as my tube had begun to rupture and I was internally bleeding. I am lucky to be alive today. The doctor removed the pregnancy via laprascopic surgery, and was able to save my tube....which I sometimes wonder was more of a curse than a blessing. I had another ectopic in the same tube in August 2005...this time Methotrexate was used to dissolve the pregnancy and no surgery was required. Though it was less "invasive" I can honestly say that I preferred the surgery 100%. I will never allow myself to be injected with methotrexate AGAIN. Just this last week I found out I was pregnant again! We were shocked, thrilled and in awe. But when i started spotting and cramping, we immediately ran into the ER to make sure I wasn't Ectopic again. Well they told me I was, injected me with methotrexate, and 2 days later I found out that I had a perfectly normal intrauterine pregnancy, that was just a little too early to show on the first U/S. This is ALL very fresh and painful for me, as it occured last week. In fact I am still waiting to "Pass" what would have been a perfectly normal, enormously desired pregnancy that was conceived on my hubby's Birthday no less. I haven't slept in a week and am exhausted from crying.....*I* need a group as much as I think other women out there must need a group too. I have been through so many levels of shock ,disbelief, sadness, anger and rage, I  don't even know what I'm thinking and feeling anymore as I sit and wait for a baby I wanted with all my heart and soul to "pass" because an overzealous ER doctor made a foolish mistake.. I just hope that I won't have to wait another 2 years to become pregnant again....or maybe even 10 years like the first time.

This is all so very fresh to me....I am so emotional. I will post more and more as I gather information, as my goal is to make sure this NEVER happens to another woman AGAIN. PERIOD. I will go to the ends of the earth and holler it from the hilltops. I am ready to take this all the way. But in the meantime I'd love to see you all settle in and start getting to know one another, Share your stories as much as you feel comfortable. We all need to know that someone understands our feelings. As I recover, you will see me on more and more. I have big plans for this group and beyond. So join me for the ride!
by on Oct. 7, 2007 at 9:50 AM
Replies (11-14):
michelle110570
by New Member on Jun. 2, 2009 at 7:00 PM

So they can make mistakes telling you its ectopic or something else when its normal?  What made them decide it was ectopic if you don't mind my asking?  I went last Thursday to the ER because I was cramping and saw bllod when I went to the bathroom.  I had a vaginal ultrasound that saw nothing in either my uterus or proof of an ectopic pregnancy elsewhere.  They checked my hormone levels and said they were low for how pregnant I should be.  I went back on Saturday to have the levels checked and they went down, so they told me it was a miscarriage, not an ectopic pregnancy.  I saw my doctor yesterday, and she said I probably had had a chemicla pregnancy or blighted ovum, and they would monitor my levels until they reached zero, since it could still be ectopic if they didn't keep dropping.  She called me today and said my levels went up, actually they doubled, which is what they told me at the ER happens when you have a normal pregnancy.  She says its a sign that it may be ectopc, or it could  be a mistake snce 2 different labs were used, so I have to go back tomorrow for another hormone level check.  I'm so confused.  How does levels increasing  means a normal pregnancy one day, to meaning ectopic another day, because they supposedly dropped in between?  I still feel pregant, I'm nauseous, exhausted, can't eat, I don't get it?  Now I'm afraid they are making a huge mistake.

ThisjustIn
by New Member on Sep. 3, 2012 at 9:22 PM

Hi, my name is Amy. I am 37 years old and mother of 3 (ages 17, 15 & 8). I am a single mom.  Last weekend, I was just playing Wii with my daughter when I felt I had to pee. After emptying my bladder I felt this horrible pain from my bladder/pelvic area all the way down to my perineum. The pain was sharp and I couldn't move. I laid in bed in the fetal position and called a friend. I went to the ER/ED and after about an hour of waiting I saw the doctor. I had already given them a urine sample and she told me it was positive for pregnancy and that it seemed to be ectopic.

I was in shock. I was not careful, but I was keeping a good count of my cycle. I had just started seeing this guy, a co-worker actually and we both agreed on just keeping it simple. He was leaving for 2 months and is still in love with his ex-girlfriend (long story, I just came out of a relationship too and while I wanted company, was not ready for anything serious just yet). So, while this is all happening he is thousands of miles away. Anyway, the pregnancy was probably 8 weeks along (will find out more at my follow up appointment); and I had two periods (or at least I thought they were periods).

After 3 morphine shots, and ultrasound and a blood test, they called the OB/GYN team and they rushed me into surgery. By this point I was bleeding internally and my blood pressure was really low. I thought I was about to go into shock. Later I was told, I lost 1 liter of blood (or two pints). They had to remove the left tube.

I am still recovering from the surgery and the blood loss. Not to mention the shock. While I didn't plan this pregnancy, I find myself thinking about the what if's...and I am sad. I also feel like I am not entitled to grief, because this was an unwanted pregnancy. :( The worse part is that I haven't told him (I don't know what to call him), and I don't know if I should. He heard I have had surgery but didn't contact me. I texted him telling him I had something important to tell him but he has been "busy". This is a really nice guy by the way, so this is all really confusing. I could use some advice. Should I tell him? I feel once I get it out of my chest I will feel free to deal with my emotions and grief this baby. Thank you.

Buckleslee
by New Member on Dec. 22, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Wow. Enormous love and support to you. I almost died due to my experience( I posted my story right before you posted yours) and am feeling all the emotions today. I'm so glad this group exists so thank you thank you thank you. I would love to talk to more women about this experience as it is a deep emotional ride. Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings. Hugs to you friend and lots of love sent your way!!
Buckleslee
by New Member on Dec. 22, 2013 at 12:19 PM
I think you should definitely tell him. While this was an 'unwanted' pregnancy I totally understand your feeling. Me and my bf were not being terribly careful and it happened. While I love my bf and we weren't planning to get pregnant I understand how you feel. I posted my story here as a post. I hope it can help :) lots of love and hugs to you friend. You're not alone!!

Quoting ThisjustIn:

Hi, my name is Amy. I am 37 years old and mother of 3 (ages 17, 15 & 8). I am a single mom.  Last weekend, I was just playing Wii with my daughter when I felt I had to pee. After emptying my bladder I felt this horrible pain from my bladder/pelvic area all the way down to my perineum. The pain was sharp and I couldn't move. I laid in bed in the fetal position and called a friend. I went to the ER/ED and after about an hour of waiting I saw the doctor. I had already given them a urine sample and she told me it was positive for pregnancy and that it seemed to be ectopic.

I was in shock. I was not careful, but I was keeping a good count of my cycle. I had just started seeing this guy, a co-worker actually and we both agreed on just keeping it simple. He was leaving for 2 months and is still in love with his ex-girlfriend (long story, I just came out of a relationship too and while I wanted company, was not ready for anything serious just yet). So, while this is all happening he is thousands of miles away. Anyway, the pregnancy was probably 8 weeks along (will find out more at my follow up appointment); and I had two periods (or at least I thought they were periods).

After 3 morphine shots, and ultrasound and a blood test, they called the OB/GYN team and they rushed me into surgery. By this point I was bleeding internally and my blood pressure was really low. I thought I was about to go into shock. Later I was told, I lost 1 liter of blood (or two pints). They had to remove the left tube.

I am still recovering from the surgery and the blood loss. Not to mention the shock. While I didn't plan this pregnancy, I find myself thinking about the what if's...and I am sad. I also feel like I am not entitled to grief, because this was an unwanted pregnancy. :( The worse part is that I haven't told him (I don't know what to call him), and I don't know if I should. He heard I have had surgery but didn't contact me. I texted him telling him I had something important to tell him but he has been "busy". This is a really nice guy by the way, so this is all really confusing. I could use some advice. Should I tell him? I feel once I get it out of my chest I will feel free to deal with my emotions and grief this baby. Thank you.

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